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- I would like to comment to the person who had a hysterectomy
in her early 30's. I too had a hysterectomy at 27 but had 2 kids who were 4 and almost 2. It hurt to know
that there would be no more children, but I already had children. Why not look into adoption - there are lots of children
who need parents, if not adoption then do volunteer work as a Big Sister or work with children in need of a friend. Lots
of children just need a friend to talk to cause parents or parent is busy trying to earn a living and other problems - just
be there for a child. You can love that child like they were your own and do for them as they need. Maybe even foster
parenting would be your answer - there is lots of possibilities you can do to help your mother instinct.
- Thank God, God sees the heart and the truth within there. At least another recognizes
the difficulties besides the one feeling it. Unfortunately we live in a world where the 'visible' is the 'judging
line', but fortunately we follow a God who does not see as man sees. God bless you daily and rememeber James 1:17 applies
to you too even when you are so very tired. James 1:17: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is fro above, and
comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."
- When you have ulcerative colitis, diverticulosis, and IBS you must always know
where the bathrooms are! When I am having a flare up and miss services, I am told, "There's a bathroom at the
building, you can be there just as well as be at home!" Don't you think I know there is a bathroom at the building?
Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to get up over and over again during services. Even if no one knows
what's happening, your mind has you convinced they do. And how humiliating when someone else comes in the bathroom
while you are there! I'd rather stay at home and use my own bathroom, thank you, and ask others to please, PLEASE, understand.
- It is so depressing to be feeling sickly all the time, but people think if you
look OK then you are. Little do most people understand about illness. Getting dressed is a big deal and exhausting
also. Going out shopping is a really big deal and very tiring. Most of the time I only leave home for just doctor
appointments, trips to the pharmacy, or short quick to take care of errands.
- Just because your outward appearance looks ok, most people assume you are ok. Little do they know that the
time it takes to get dressed for Church services, you are so tired out you need to rest. Do not miss because I want
to - just do not have the strength to get ready and go. I have osteoarthritis, missing discs in my spine, aching and
hurting most of the time, plus I have
had almost constant urinary infections for almost 2 years. The constant antibiotics
drags you down plus the infection takes your strength and energy.
Do not think just because I look OK that I am.
Makeup
can hide a lot of things. Most of my days are spent in gown and robe or muumuus. Too much energy to get completely
dress. Thank goodness I have a husband who understands and is a very good cook or brings in meals. Also we can
afford to have someone come in occasionally to clean house.
In between I try to keep things as clean as I can.
A
trip to shop at Wal-Mart is a huge outing for me, but tires me out so it is 3 or so days of resting after going. - I had to have a hysterectomy in my early 30's so I will never be a mother and
won't be a grandmother. Ever. But hey, everyone says, "Here, take mine," THAT'S SO NOT HELPFUL!
- I missed out on a whole lot of mothering because my Mom had early Alzheimer's.
I search for mothering where I can find good sources (usually my sisters in Christ).
- I would wish that people would understand that with fibromyalgia....we
may look well and some days have alot of energy and the
next day be in much discomfort. It is so hard to plan ahead.
Some days those hugs that we really need hurt our body
but lift our spirits...be gentle!
- I have fibromyalgia and arthritis. When it's cold or damp,
I am stiff and obviously in more pain. But I wish people could understand that when I'm not in a lot of pain, Fibromyalgia
doesn't just go away. I still ache all over - ALL THE TIME - and I still feel like most people feel when they have
the flu, except I don't have a fever. I'm so tired that it takes great effort just to go anywhere. But I don't
"look" sick. Even those who know I have Fibromyalgia don't seem to understand that just because my face
isn't twisted in pain, my body is still struggling to be at worship or to do things that I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm not bitter about this. I just feel like others think I'm making excuses when I say I cannot be at a gathering,
or go shopping with them, or go walking with them because if I do that I won't be able to do what I must do tomorrow morning.
I loved the spoon theory. It's a perfect illustration. I don't think well folks will ever be able to fully
understand how many ways an invisible illness changes everything in one's life.
- I wish people would know
how embarrassing ulcerative colitis is. The urgency of having bowel movements comes as quick as a hiccup. If you are
brave enough to step outside of your house--your first concern is where are the bathrooms. I try to keep extra clothes
with me--just in case of an accident --Then of course there's the fear and depression that sets in when you see
the blood--which is common with this disease. I'm always on edge--what if??
- I used to invite people home from church on Sundays, and often had covered
dish dinners at my house. It was fun and I enjoyed it. Because of my chronic illness, I can no
longer plan such things unless I do it on a tentative basis. First I have to find the energy and have a
day with less pain than usual so that I can vacuum and clean my house, including the bathroom and kitchen. The problem
is that if I manage all that, I'm usually not able to do any entertaining for several days. Meanwhile the house
becomes a mess again. And I'm so embarrassed when people stop by now, without calling first. I hate for
people to see my carpet, kitchen and bathroom dirty. I feel like they think I'm a slob. And I'm not.
I'm a clean person. I just can't keep up with cleaning and laundry and cooking for my family without doing
it, a little at a time. I HATE being like this. We can't afford to hire someone to help. A couple of sisters
at church have offered to help, but it's so embarrassing to have them see my house when it's so messy.
And I feel so guilty not helping the one who volunteers to help, when I don't LOOK sick. I feel a lot of guilt.
That's probably more my problem than others making me feel guilty. And it IS worse when company shows
up from out of town, who may not know much about my illness. I cringe if they come when I've had a rough
week or two and the house looks like I am a lazy housekeeper. I see their eyes darting around at everything.
Not much can be done about it. I just hate feeling like others see me as lazy or uncaring about my home and family.
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