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a Fatigue is
invisible.
a Fatigue can go anywhere from annoying to disabling.
a
Degrees of fatigue can change throughout the day.
a Fatigue is there 24/7 to some degree.
a "Feeling great" doesn't mean the fatigue is gone, it has just lessened.
a "Looking good" doesn't mean the fatigue is gone. It's just invisible.
a Fatigue that comes with chronic illness can not be compared with "normals" who
experience fatigue from overdoing. It has a different feel and is almost impossible to describe.
a
Heat and summertime can make some people's fatigue worse as heat slows down nerve conduction.
a
A nap or taking a break doesn't get rid of the fatigue.
a Added fatigue can be the result
of overdoing, but not always.
a Fatigue is never wanted, enjoyed, and if we could get rid
of it we would.
a Fatigue sometimes gives the impression to others that we lack desire,
drive, and we are "just depressed." Fatigue deceives, it hides its true nature.
a
Fatigue can affect thinking and emotions as energy is needed for every part of us to work correctly: physically, mentally
and emotionally.
The following are thoughts I
selected off the internet
from those living with chronic illness :
Fatigue is a monumental
problem. It's hard to describe the overwhelming and exhausting fatigue I can feel. It's like I moved furniture all
day, carried a 100-pound backpack up the side of a mountain and rowed a boat across the ocean…and all I've done
is gotten dressed.
I'm not exhausted all the time. But when
that fatigue hits, it's like hitting a wall. There is no reserve. It's depressing to have no control over how tired
I am regardless of how much sleep I've had. Sometimes I say no to your offers, like "let's take in a movie"
because I don't want to let you down at the last minute. Thank you for understanding why I cancel or renege on plans.
"I think the most difficult thing to cope with is the absolute dichotomy between how
you look and how you feel."
"You're
here! You must finally be better." This fallacy can be maddening. For those with chronic illness, there is no cure, and
hearing a comment such as this one proves that the illness is not understood—and that no effort was made to understand
it.
Impatient people try to rush people with disabilities
through life. A man who was behind me in the grocery line one day tried to unload my cart for me. The gesture would have been
welcome if it had been rooted in kindness, but it was obvious I was moving too slow for him in this fast-paced world we live
in.
For those of us living with a chronic illness, there can
be many ups and downs. Nothing is as it once was, and "normal" no longer exists in our vocabulary. Maybe this presentation
will help you to redefine the term "normal" and learn to live with your illness as best as you can.
If
you've ever been on a walk in the woods, you know how varied the path can be — level areas covered with soft pine
needles can give way to rocky descents or short climbs that require careful footing. In some ways, living with chronic illness
is very much like going on a walk in the woods. You're never quite certain what lies ahead of you. If you live with a
chronic condition, how you view the path you're on and decide to manage your day-to-day situations can greatly affect
your quality of life.
TODAY I WILL CRY
I make time for tears when it all gets too much,
When the pain is too bad for too long
and such.
Today I will cry.
I will let it all out in a big flood of tears,
I'll rid
myself of all these questions and fears.
Today I will cry.
I'm not pretending to be brave and
strong,
Today I can't take it, it's gone on too long.
Today I will cry.
God gave
me the power to see this flare through,
A relief valve of sorts, it's what I will do.
Today I
will cry.
Parnell Bailey visited an orange grove where
an irrigation pump had broken down. The season was unusually dry and some of the trees were beginning to die for lack of water.
The man giving the tour then took Bailey to his own orchard where irrigation was used sparingly. "These trees could go
without rain for another 2 weeks," he said. "You see, when they were young, I frequently kept water from them. This
hardship caused them to send their roots deeper into the soil in search of moisture. Now mine are the deepest-rooted trees
in the area. While others are being scorched by the sun, these are finding moisture at a greater depth."
A lecturer
was giving a talk to students on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do
you think this glass of water is?" The students’ answers ranged from 20 grams to 500 grams. The lecturer
replied, " The absolute weight doesn’t matter. What matters is how long you hold it. If I hold the cup for a minute,
I would be Ok. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for one day, you will have to call
an ambulance. The cup of water is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels and the more damage
it can do to me."
IS THIS SUFFERING WASTED?
by Homer Hailey
Among life's most baffling problems, there are times when
none is more perplexing than that of suffering. "Why should this have come to me?" is so often asked. Then, after
much anxiety and questioning one still does not have the answer to the "Why?" From thence we turn to the question
of "What?" If I cannot know "why," then what use shall I make of it? Surely, in a world of order, governed
by a God of love, there must be some use which suffering may serve. It cannot be that God allows suffering with no purpose
to be accomplished by it. Surely my pain, whether mental, or physical, or in the deep recesses of conscience, is not to be
wasted. KNOWLEDGE OF GOD.
For the past two months I have spent much time with "a perfect and upright man, a man that feared God and turned away
from evil." This man had been brought to the brink of death as he drank the full of calamity and physical suffering.
Being a man who feared God and enjoyed all the bounty of this life, he could not understand why he should be called to suffer
as he did. In my association with him I learned much about suffering. Among other things I learned something of the use to
be made of it. The man's name is Job. Every sufferer should meet and become acquainted with him. Through suffering Job came to know God as he had never known Him before. At times he thought God was cruel to him;
at other times he would conclude there was no moral government in the universe -- God just did not care. But throughout his
experience his faith was deepening and expanding. Finally Job was able to say, "I had heard of thee by the hearing of
the ear; but now mine eye seeth thee: wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes" Job 42:5. SUFFERING HUMBLES US. Job was humbled
by his experience. He had learned to trust when he could not see. He came to realize his own ignorance of God's great
and mysterious universe. He came also to know God and of His concern for the sufferer as he could never have learned except
through experience. He now knew what it was to walk by faith and not by sight. Here is one of the greatest uses of suffering. To the man who will trust it brings a knowledge and understanding
of God which can be acquired in no other way - knowledge by experience. God does care. He was intensely interested in Job
from the first, and so in us. He is a God of purpose and of order, as revealed throughout His universe. And even though man
suffers, God is not indifferent, but uses the suffering to bring man closer to Himself. Job came to know God, not as a tyrant,
but as man's friend. So may you and I. COMFORT
OF OTHERS. Suffering may be used to teach one a deeper sympathy and compassion for others. It should teach
us to share the experiences of another, to encourage and inspire as we could not have done before our own experience. Though
Paul was writing of Christians suffering for the cause of Christ, his statement my serve in any suffering: "Blessed be
the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our affliction,
that we may be able to comfort them that are in any affliction, through the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted"
2 Cor. 1:3,4. Through one's own experience is suffering,
and the comfort he receives from God, he is able to comfort as can no one who has not himself experienced such affliction
and such comfort. He has learned through experience, and can now teach and help through that which he knows. Let the sufferer
make this use of his suffering. PATIENCE
AND HOPE. Another great use of suffering as presented in the Scripture is that of the development of patience
and hope. Paul rejoiced in hope of the glory of God, but he did not stop there. "We also rejoice in our tribulations,"
he continues, "knowing that tribulation worketh steadfastness; and steadfastness, approvedness; and approvedness, hope;
and hope putteth not to shame" Rom. 5:3-5. As one overcomes wave after wave of tribulation, adversity, suffering and
pain, he grows stronger in his own steadfastness, and his hope flashes more gloriously. Trials, and also pain or suffering, may become tests of faith. James writes, "Count it all joy, my brethren,
when ye fall into manifold trials; knowing that the proving of your faith worketh patience" Jas. 1:2,3. Patience is not a fatalistic submission to "come what may"; but it is
a steadfast enduring, waiting, letting the Lord work out the end. James himself so explains it: "Behold, we call them
blessed that endured: ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord, how that the Lord is full of
pity, and merciful" Jas. 5:11. Job was doubly rich at the end of his experience: he had not only his abundance of material
wealth, but a richness of faith and knowledge of God. Then
there is that suffering which is vicarious: suffering on behalf of and for another. Christ's sufferings were such. So
may your suffering be used as the means of bringing Christ and the Spirit of the Christ to the heart and life of another.
Your own faith and steadfastness may teach by example where one will not listen by the ear. Shall my suffering be wasted? By no means! "We know that to them that love God all things work together for
good, even to them that are called according to his purpose" Rom. 8:28. Let God use suffering in the life of us all as
a means of bringing us to know Him as never before. Let Him use it to teach us faith, humility, steadfastness, hope. Through
it let us learn that we can trust when we cannot know; we can walk when we cannot see. Faith is greater than sight, and loving
trust than scientific knowledge. Let us thank God for His providential use of suffering, as He uses it to make heaven's
glory more brilliant, and earth's sojourn one of humble trust.
Out of the Darkness
Out of the
dark forbidding soil
The pure white lilies grow.
Out of the black and murky clouds,
Descends the stainless
snow.
Out of the crawling earth-bound worm
A butterfly is born.
Out of the somber shrouded night,
Behold!
A golden morn!
Out of the pain and stress of life,
The peace of God pours down.
Out of the nails -- the spear
-- the cross,
Redemption -- and a crown!
Just to reinforce brother
Hailey's thoughts, if you were on the bed of affliction, suffering terribly, other than the Lord Himself, what Bible character
would you like to come sit by your bed? I would pick Job, because of his experience and gaining a greater understanding of
God, Job would say and do just what I needed. He gained by his suffering. Have you? Do you use what you have gained for
the good of others?
Since
I began this publication in 1994, the heartache I hear about most often from women who live with invisible chronic illness
is when others doubt the extent of her disability and they believe she isn't trying hard enough to (1) be more active
(2) keep the house clean (3) attend all the worship services. The worst pain is #3, when Christians question why a (faithful)
woman is missing so many services when "she looks so good."
This page is to try and help
with this situation. Yes, there may be a few women who have allowed themselves to grow weaker spiritually, but the majority
of women who have become chronically ill have grown more spiritual-minded; they are more dependent on God and have learned
priorities of what is important in this life. A woman who was truly faithful before illness very seldom becomes
unfaithful after illness strikes, yet many are misjudged as spiritually weak because they miss a great deal of worship services.
Doubts arise of the legitimacy of her complaints because she doesn't look ill.
This doubting is especially
painful if it the husband. My husband never doubted me from the beginning so I asked him if he would write something for husbands
who may be having problems believing their wife has to miss the amount of worship services she does. From that I decided to
go ahead and expand on this topic.
On this page we will cover:
- Help for husbands
who may be having trouble believing their wives' extent of disability.
- How we feel when we miss many services.
- What we wish others would do if they do not believe we are sick enough to be missing
so many worships services and Bible classes.
Please
let me know if you would like to add anything to these lists. I am going to keep this page in archives because this continues
to be a problem with some and I would imagine will always be a problem when it comes to invisible chronic illness.
v Are you having a difficult time
believing your chronically ill wife has to miss so many worship services?
by Chuck Gates
If
this is the case, here are some questions that may help:
- Before your
wife became ill was she actively working for the Lord?
- Before your wife
became ill did she love the Lord?
- Before your wife became
ill was she spiritually minded and a faithful disciple of the Lord?
- Before your wife became ill was she a dedicated student of the word?
- Before
your wife became ill was she always pure, honest and trustworthy?
- Did your wife enjoy
being with the saints before she became ill? Was she hospitable?
- Although
she may not express it each and every time, have you observed her obvious disappointment when she can't attend services?
- Has she been an encourager to others and don't you think
when she has to miss services she is sorry she is hindered in this?
- Do you observe her physical limitations during the week and see their ebb and flow?
- Is your wife unable to do things today that she use to love to do that wasn't of a spiritual nature? For instance,
did she love to shop and now unable to do it as much as she use to? Did she do other things in the past she can no longer do
today or has to limit herself in these things? Wouldn't this hold true with meeting with the saints?
- Hasn't Life taught you that just because you have not experienced
or understand a certain thing doesn't mean it isn't real or true? Have you experienced, personally, your
wife's illness? Can you completely understand her sorrow over what she has lost? Can her disability be real, even if you
have not gone through it yourself?
- Shouldn't we think
the better and not the worst, striving to help the other to heaven? In the workplace have you ever had
a boss or a customer misjudge your intent, not understanding your motive and rather than think the best, think the worst?
How did that make you feel? Did you feel defensive? Angry? Alone? Did you feel motivated or discouraged? When you misjudge
your wife and doubt what she tells you, how are you making her feel?
If your wife was trustworthy and faithful before she became ill, this shows what her character
was. What changed? Do you think that illness is going to take that all away and almost overnight she becomes the opposite
of what she was?
We should love our
wife, believe her and want to see her continue to grow in Christ. We should be to her that which she is to us, the one
who is helping us get to heaven. If we refuse to acknowledge her physical infirmity or reject her word how can we
say we love her and in what way have we shown Christ living in us? Our wives need us to be a friend and an ally,
a protector, not a judge and critic.
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
for her that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that should be holy and without blemish.
Eph. 5:25-27
v
How We Think and Feel When We Miss Many Meetings With the Saints
by Pat Gates
1. We miss the opportunity to worship God in the
manner He taught us in His word.
2. We miss out on great spiritual encouragement and strength we need
to get through the daily struggles of the coming week.
3. We miss out on sharing the great love of the
Lord's sacrifice with our spiritual family as they remember Him in partaking of the Lord's
supper.
4. We miss out on our spirit being uplifted with God's people as hearts and voices are united
in singing hymns.
5. We miss out on praying with God's people, which is such a blessing.
6. We
miss seeing people we love and care deeply about.
7. We miss out on the encouraging words we hear
from our brothers and sisters.
8. We may feel separated, at times, from our spiritual
family as we are often unaware of what is happening in their lives.
9. We are sometimes embarrassed in
conversations because we don't know an important event that has happened with an individual weeks or months ago, whether
good or bad. It makes us wonder if they think we don't care about them.
10. We introduce ourselves
to "visitors" when we do get to meet with the saints and find out these "visitors" have been a part
of the congregation for months.
11. We introduce ourselves to people and find out we did that once or
twice before but there had been weeks of our absence and we can't remember who we met and who we didn't.
12. We feel lonely when we miss a lot. We miss out on forming new or deeper friendships.
13. When we
were first ill we use to worry all the time what others thought when we missed so much because when we were
at services we didn't look sick. Now we know the one we have to please is God and He knows our heart and our
abilities and disabilities.
14. Once in a while, years later #13 isn't true. We still worry what others are
thinking.
15. OK, truthfully, at least once a week we may wonder what others think. But it is true that we have
learned to not let this bother us most of the time and we really do think in terms of pleasing God and taking comfort
that He knows us.
16. We want to strengthen those who are there who don't get the attention they need and it
bothers us that we are unable.
17. We appreciate the worship service when we are able to attend,
more than we ever have in our lives. When we do meet with the saints we feel like we are the happiest people
there. If it was our choice, we would always be there.
18. We are so grateful when we are part
of a congregation of God's people who joyfully welcome us back and no one in the congregation gives us
reason to think they doubted the reason for our absence.
19. It comforts us to know we have a husband who trusts us
and has compassion on us when we miss worship service.
20. Most of all, we know we always have our
Lord nearby, who understands our body and our spirit and is ever willing to help us endure the disappointment
when we can not meet with the saints.
v What we
wish others would do and think when they doubt we are sick enough to be missing as many worship services and Bible
classes as we do.
- Judge us by what you know our
character to be, even if our life, to you, doesn't make sense. Do you know us as a
spritually weak person who would be striving to find excuses not to worship God and be with His people? Do you know us
as liars, or rather someone who is and has been trustworthy?
- Research our
illness or talk to us about it. Get to know our symptoms.
- Understand that
our symptoms come and go or remain, but the severity of them may change.
- Understand
that no two people are alike and illness affects each one differently.
- Keep in
mind we miss out on other things during the week that are not of a spiritual nature that we would like to participate
in.
- While we look healthy and strong when you see us at worship service
on Sunday morning, please be aware that we are usually drained by the time we get home and may even take a day or
two to recover.
- Please don't talk about us to other people and explain
that you're not sure why we miss so many services but you go on to explain what you think
rather than what you know. Suggest to them that they ask us why we miss; we will not take offense if they ask, we
will be relieved.
- Whenever we say, "Sunday morning wore me out so I couldn't
make it Sunday night," please don't say, "Yes, I'm always tired Sunday night as well." Our
fatigue is not the same as your's, it is debilitating and while there is no way you can understand this, you need to trust
us that it is unlike anything you've experienced.
- Just believe us. Isn't
it better to take a chance on believing us, rather than making the mistake of misjuding a faithful individual and giving us
added pain?
- Know our lives are not what we would have chosen, we would be more
than happy to have your ability to meet with the saints everytime the doors are open.
- This was submitted by a reader. Good point! "Some symptoms are too personal or too embarrassing to reveal
to the entire congregation. (I'm thinking of a friend who misses frequently because she suffers chronic diarrhea,
etc -- do you think she wants to say that to everyone?)"
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"But you look
so good!"
Blessing or condemnation?
"But you look so good!"
Acceptance or denunciation?
"But you look so good!"
Understanding or reprobation?
"But you look so good!"
Compliment
or accusation?
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How Important
is a chronically ill woman to a congregation? You may not feel you don't have anything to offer, but... Do you know a "get well" card sent by you to a sick sister or brother means so much more because they know
you understand? Do you know that when you are able to meet with the saints your smile lifts someone's
spirits? Do you know when you keep persevering someone is using you for their inspiration to
persevere? When you pray for others you know there are physical, emotional and spiritual needs
and you have a better understanding of these specific needs to mention in your prayer. Do you
know when you are sympathetic and caring with others they are more likely to share their feelings with you, knowing you understand?
Do you know you may be able to help others in the congregation understand a Christian's need
because you've been there? Do you know that your hug means so much to someone who is suffering?
___________________________________________ Someone Needs You Someone needs your smile today.
Your hug, your listening ear.
Someone needs encouragement
And gentle words of cheer.
Someone
needs your helping hand,
A letter...or what's more,
Someone needs your cheerfulness
To make their spirits soar.
Someone needs affection
When they are
feeling blue.
Listen, someone's calling,
For
a special friend like you. -unknown
OUR HOPE SEPTEMBER 2006
article first appeared in Christianity Magazine/October 1985
Living With Handicaps
or Loss of Health
Irvin Himmel
How
can one adjust to living with a handicap such as blindness, being paralyzed due to a spinal injury, or complete loss of speech?
What happens after the doctor looks one squarely in the eye and says with a soft, yet firm, tone of voice, "You have
only about a year in which to live"? People react differently to serious handicaps and the loss of health. Some panic.
Some commit suicide. Some are depressed beyond description. Others remain cheerful and display a remarkably good attitude.
Here are some suggestions which I trust may be helpful
to all who are handicapped or who have lost good health:
FACE REALITY: If you have a physical
disadvantage, whether from birth or in consequence of disease, accident, or other causes, you are not alone. Thousands of
people have handicaps. If you have a health problem that is incurable, so do many other. If you have a terminal illness, stop
and consider that millions of people have died because of disease. Is terminal illness worse than being hurled into the great
beyond without warning? Perhaps God has allowed you to be warned of the approach of death for a reason.
Be realistic. Accept what is beyond your power to change. Do the best you can with what you have in whatever time you have
remaining.
TRUST
IN GOD:The heavenly Father knows more about what is good for us and what is bad for us than we know
ourselves. Handicapped people and unhealthy people have vivid reminders of their dependence on God. We cannot be strong spiritually
until we face up to our human weaknesses. When Paul besought the Lord to remove his "thorn in the flesh," the Lord
said, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Realizing this truth, Paul
said, "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities...for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Cor. 12:9-10).
Many of us have correct answers to doctrinal questons but lack sustaining faith in the face of adversity. Let us learn to
feel as David did in saying, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for
thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).
DO NOT BE BITTER: A disagreeable, harsh, biting, distasteful
attitude will make matters worse. Anyone who has become bitter over personal loses should be reminded that Paul said, "Let
all bitterness...be put away from you" (Eph. 4:31). Bitterness only serves to make one sour, crabby and repulsive. A
rotten, rebellious attitude will not restore health nor prevent death.
The statistics are that one out of one dies! A dear sister who is a victim of cancer said in my presence, "Everyone
has to die sometime." Her serenity and composure through months of suffering have been an inspiration to others.
AVOID SELF-PITY.
There is one thing that is worse than a handicap or loss of health, and that is a morbid preoccupation with feeling sorry
for self. "The spirit of man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?" (Prov. 18:14). Self-pity
wounds the spirit. Physical loss make life hard; inward loss makes life unbearable.
Let the attention be centered on something constructive and beneficial. Brooding over adversity will not turn it into joy.
Dwelling on things pleasant, being thankful, and letting the peace of God rule in the heart will give joy in spite of physical
losses.
FOCUS ON
THINGS ABOVE. This world is not everything. This earthly pilgrimage often is difficult and it will reach an
end. Therefore, "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth" (Col. 3:2).
In another passage, Paul wrote: "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared
with the glory which shall be revealed in us" (Rom. 8:18). Let us "Look not at the things which are seen, but at
the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things that are not seen are eternal"
(2 Cor. 4:18).
It won't be very long until all our human
frailties will cease to concern us. In heaven there will be no sickness, no sorrow, no dying. In the resurrection we hsall
be given glorified spirutal bodies (Phil. 3:20-21). The hope of these better things above should flood our souls. Strong faith
and genuine expectation of what God has promised will soothe and sustain.
Just like the various colors of the birds, above, chronic
illness comes in many shades. One day may begin as bright blue with tints of sunny yellow and by mid-day the colors have been
dulled by a gray wash. Variations of symptoms make for a continual adjustment of thoughts, emotions and lifestyle. This constant
modification of plans involves all who are part of the life of the chronically ill person, not just the one who is affected
by the disease. Because of this ever-changing pallet of colors, it is
of utmost importance for the entire family and friends of the ill to learn to be flexible. This takes acceptance of the situation,
communication of the desires and needs of the ill as well as the needs of family and friends, and considering the reality
of what is possible and what isn't. It is knowing that plans will change and being able to adjust to these changes in
the best way possible. Living with chronic illness means disappointments
will come and that means sadness, not only with the ill but with their mates, children, parents, and friends. The ill one
will feel guilty for interrupting plans of their loved ones, and while this is normal, it does not have to be necessary for
they and their loves ones need to know they can not help their situation. Feeling guilty and feeling sad are two entirely
different things. Guilt should not be placed on the ill, nor should the ill one feel guilty, but accepting sadness and the
disappointment of everyone involved is good to recognize and not hide. Hidden emotions, at times, have a way of coming out
in inappropriate ways and inappropriate times. The sadness and disappointment
that comes when plans have to change should not be coddled, but rather they can be recognized and then move on, knowing that,
perhaps, next time plans can be followed through. And if not, then go to the "oh well" frame of mind that we live
the best we can with disappointments, knowing in the overall scheme of life, it wasn't all that important. Love, patience,
communication, trust and acceptance by all who are involved with this illness, this intruder, is an absolute necessity in
living productively and peacefully with chronic illness. -Pat
ARE
YOU A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY?
by Pat Gates
I recently read the following: Often people are described by their profession; like in game or talk shows, people
are introduced as, "this is Joe, a teacher from California." We are obsessed with what people “do” for
a living. Sure it is interesting to find out what careers people are in; but it is sad when we define ourselves by our careers
and not by our character. We get so wrapped up in "who
we are" being defined by "what we do" that it is no wonder why so many who become disabled also become insecure
and feel like their lives no longer have importance. Laura, a woman with Interstitial Cystitis wrote, "I was a RN, but
now am nothing, worthless and useless, homebound and on Social Security" (IDA Guestbook, August, 2000). How sad that
our very beings, character and purpose in life are supposedly depicted by what kind of work we are in and how successful we
are at it! Frequently, at a funeral you will hear of
people describing their loved one as a "productive member of society." But what if the person were not very productive?
What if the person were bedridden or physically disabled? How then would we measure their character and worth as a human who
takes up space on this planet? Would their life be as important or impacting on others? Could they have had a meaning or purpose,
even though they were unable to work? There seems to
be no room here for people who cannot pull their own weight. People work hard and they get angry to think that others are
drawing taxpayers’ money for doing nothing. They feel that, "if I have to work, so should you." But, they
do not realize that their being able to work is a privilege and a blessing, not a curse. In fact, most people with disabilities
are not lazy; they want to work! --selected The writing above is so true and chronically ill and disabled Christians get caught up in
this, feeling ashamed they are not working and not being "productive" in society. I do understand this, as I have
family members who can no longer work and also while I, myself, did not work outside the home before I became ill, I still
felt embarrassed recently when I was asked by someone I hadn't seen in a long time, what it was I was doing with my life.
I sure wasn't going to say I've been sitting in a recliner for about a month now and only get up to fix meals and
do light housekeeping (I've been in a big flareup); I did not want to look lazy. Work
is good for mankind and this is what God wanted for man. It keeps the mind and body fit and it's satisfying to take care
of one's needs and the needs of loved ones. However, is our identity of who we are dependent on our position in the workplace
and in society? The One who first created the idea for man to work is God and He teaches us to support ourselves and our families,
if it is within our ability. However, it is not how He tells us to define ourselves and how to measure our identity and worth
in this world. IN
CHRIST, WE CAN BE PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY WHETHER WE ARE OLD OR YOUNG, HEALTHY OR DISABLED, RICH OR POOR. IN CHRIST, IS OUR IDENTITY: • We are part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's
own special people who are to proclaim the praises of God. (1 Peter 2:9) •
We are the salt of the earth, the light to the world, a city set on a hill. (Matthew 5:12-13) •
We are a branch of the True Vine and we are to bear much fruit. (John 15:1-2) •
We are sons of the light and sons of day and we are to be watchful and sober. (1 Thessalonians 5:5-6) •
We are children of God and should be imitators of Him. (Ephesians 5:1) •
We are servants of righteousness (Romans 6:18) and we serve the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:24) •
We are beloved of God and we should love each other. (1 John 4:11) •
We are world conquerors by our faith and belief that Jesus is the Son of God. (1 John 5:1-5) •
We are soldiers who fight Satan. (Ephesians 6:10-17) • We are priest
who offer up the sacrifices of the fruit of praise to God, giving thanks to His name, doing good and sharing. (James 13:15-16) • We are sojourners as far as this earth and its lusts is concerned (1 Peter 2:11),
however... • We (Gentiles) are no longer strangers and sojourners,
but citizens of the household of God. (Ephesians 2:19) • We are
part of a holy temple, the dwelling place of God in the Spirit (Ephesians 2:21-22) •
We are fellow workers whose names are written in the Book of Life. (Philippians 4:3) All
of us are productive and have identity in Christ. Tell me one description in the list above that can not be the identity of
a Christian who is homebound, bedbound, in a nursing home, in a wheelchair, or in a hospital bed. God is the Creator of all
that is good for mankind and, in Him, we are who we are. Our Lord gave us our identity when His own body was broken for us
for, in Him, when we are weak, we are strong (2 Corinthians 13:9).
Helping The Sick
J.
David Powlas
INTRODUCTION:
During our assemblies
for worship and/or Bible study, the announcements usually include the names of members who are sick. Some of the folks
whose names are written on the “prayer board” (the whiteboard on the back wall of this building) are also sick.
Do you and I take any kind of follow-up action after we hear those announcements and look at that board? In other words,
what do we actually do to help the sick? This lesson will point out some scriptural teachings and practical suggestions
about helping the sick.
DISCUSSION:
1. Scriptural Teachings -
a. We should pray for
the sick - James 5:14-16; 3 John 1-2
b. We should sympathize and empathize with the sick - Luke 6:31; 1 Corinthians 12:26-27; Romans 12:15
c.
We should comfort and encourage the sick - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Job 2:11-13 (This can
be done via e-mail, regular mail, telephone, and/or personal visit!)
d. We will be judged
according to whether we did or did not help the sick - Matthew 25:31-46
2. Practical Suggestions -
a. When visiting the sick, do not worry/fret about what you should say to them. (Your presence can be
comforting/encouraging to the sick even if you say very few words!)
b. When writing and/or speaking to the sick, do not tell them about all of your problems. (They
do not need any more “burdens” added to their present “load” of concerns!)
c.
Do not ask the sick: “Is there anything that you need for me to get or to do for you?” -- unless
you seriously intend to supply or to do what is needed. (To ask such a question with no real interest in their needs
is hypocrisy!)
CONCLUSION:
What happens after we learn (via the
announcements and the “prayer board”) who is sick? All of us probably intend to do something to help them;
but, do we follow up on our good intentions? What are you and I actually doing to help our brethren and others who are
sick? Are we willing to be judged according to those actions (or lack of them)?
Weariness:
Sometimes we get just plain weary. I know I do. Its more than the crushing fatigue and heaviness
the illness causes. Its a weariness of spirit. I get so tired of having to struggle just to make it through the day. I get
tired of dealing with 'illness issues', doctors and just plain hearing about illness. Yet its never far from my mind
because there it is before my face where I have to deal with it. Some symptoms are pretty hard to ignore like cognitive ones.
I get weary.
"Praise be to the Lord, Who has given rest
to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promised he gave through his servant Moses.
May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may he never leave or forsake us. May he turn our hearts to him,
to walk in all his ways and to keep the commands, decrees and regulations he gave our fathers. And may these words of mine,
which I have prayed before the Lord, be near to the Lord our God day and night, that he may uphold the cause of his servant
and the cause of his people Israel according to each day's need, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that there
is no other. But your hearts must be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as
at this time." 1 Kings 8 : 56 - 61
-selected
Check out this thought by George Matheson, a blind 19th c.
Scottish minister: What a strange cure for mental weariness…I
should have expected an invitation to mental rest….The weariness of the body is cured by slumber, but the weariness
of the mind can be cured only by stimulus. He said this as he was meditating on Hebrews 12:3 (Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that
you will not grow weary and lose heart). He suggests that an active meditational life on the work of Jesus will help promote
rest and protect from weariness. -selected
"6"
"I actually feel human today. On a Fibro scale of 1 to 10 - I'm
having a "6" day, which ain't too bad, all things considered."
Cindy Granke, who lives with
fibromyalgia, wrote me this. Now for all you "normals" out there, on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the worst
you ever felt and 1 being the best), would you consider yourself having a good day if you were "6" on the scale?
Probably not. But such is the chronically ill: Better days are more appreciated and there is a new normal that develops. We
learn, to a degree, how to function with weakness and pain, because if we don't do what needs to be done during
the "6" days, it may not get done the next day. This doesn't mean we feel the pain and weakness less
than what a healthy person would, what it means is that we have learned we can't afford to always sit or lie
down when we are at a "6" or "7" or even "8" (sometimes) because tomorrow we
may be a "10".
Also, this forcing of the body to function during the "6" times, often throws
the chronically ill into the disabling "8" "9" and "10" days. But, we gotta do what we
can do when we can do it. This is absolutely necessary to understand in order not to judge the chronically ill when you
see us out and about. We may be in that "6" range where it is possible to get out and function, but by
the time we get home the energy expended has put our body into a "9" or "10".
-Pat
She Married a Tomato
by Pat Gates
"I answered the phone and the caller asked for my wife.
I replied: 'She's at work but I can take a message as I'm her tomato.'"
If you're
trying to figure out if you are missing the man's joke, don't bother, there isn't one there. This is an actual
quote from a man involved in a support group, and, you don't have to guess that this man has Alzheimer's, he
doesn't. He's well aware of who he is and what a tomato is and he understands fully that he is not a tomato. Although
he caught himself saying this, most of the time he probably wouldn't have realized he called himself his wife's
"tomato" instead of "husband." You see, he has brain fog or fibro fog, due to having Fibromyalgia.
Before I continue, the fog isn't just confined to people with fibomyalgia, people with other autoimmune diseases,
as well as some neurological illnesses, will experience this. There is also "chemo fog" and many of us
are all too aware of a "senior moment," that menopause contributes to. And while those of us often laugh about ourselves
and tell our fog stories (which are indeed funny sometimes), the fog is actually one of the most distressing symptoms we deal
with. This fog can just be bothersome at times, or it can be quite disabling. Verbal fluency, long-term and short-term memory, and working memory (how much information you can
use, manipulate and store at one time) is affected.
Years ago they did research with people with MS and found
the information goes in but retrieving it was the problem. After testing those with fibromyalgia, they found the people with Fibromyalgia performed worse, scoring lower than the older group and showing
a serious deficit when it came to vocabulary, a cognitive function that doesn't normally decline with age. These
deficits are not confined to those with MS or Fibromyalgia but, as I mentioned, the fog may go hand in hand with other chronically
ill syndromes and diseases. At the present, there are also studies on how heart disease and heart surgery can sometimes affect
cognition and emotions.
With the fog, conversations are almost impossible. I'm in a flare up at the
present time and fog is a problem. I was with some friends recently and I found each question they asked me was very difficult
to answer. Sometimes the fog is referred to as brain freeze and that's exactly what I felt like; I felt the answers to
the questions being given were frozen in a big block of ice in my brain and I had to chip away to retrieve the answer. The
problem is, you feel ridiculous when you can't immediately think of your child's name or how they are doing (the other
day it took me a few moments to remember where and what my children were up to), or what color your living room furniture
is, or even what you did that very morning.
Yes, yes, I know. We all do that, and this is true; not every slip
of the tongue or every forgetful moment is "the fog," however, the difference in normal forgetfulness and brain
fog is the amount of times this forgetfulness happens and the severity of it. I am now fifty..... hmmmmm... fifty something...
I need to stop typing and figure it out.. hold on... fifty-two... no, that wasn't necessarily the fog, I've heard
of a lot of people forget their age after they turn 50. Anyway, I'm 52 now and when this terrible, embarrassing fog comes
others laugh and say, "That's what happens to us after 50." Yes, to a degree it does, but mine began when I
was 37 years old. Do you know what I was told back then by those who were 50 or older? "You don't know what forgetfulness
is... wait until you turn 50 (or 60/70)."
As the older women told me that when I was in my 30's, my thoughts
would go back to the past week, when for an entire week I couldn't think of what a chair was called. I couldn't remember
how to sit down at times. My husband had to tell me, step by step, how to get into our car and sit down. I couldn't answer
a simple question of, "Would you like a glass of water?" I knew I wanted one, but all I could say was, "I don't
know." It was near impossible to fix a meal because it was too difficult to figure out what to cook or how to cook it.
Folding clothes was too much for my brain to handle.
Did I tell the older women these things? No, I just smiled
and nodded. It's no use, I've found people don't really care to believe that a 37 year old has memory problems.
Now at 52 (see I remembered) I find "brain fog" is put into the category of "senior moments" and just
laughed at.
Here's the problem: The fog is a continual day-by-day, moment-by-moment occurrence to some
degree. It never leaves those who have chronic illness, it only fluctuates in severity (and with some poor souls, remains
constantly severe). With me, fortunately, the severity comes and goes, as I no longer have such severe symptoms as not knowing
how to sit down or my brain not recognizing right, as in left-right. (Try driving a car and not being
able to look right when you have to turn -- been there. Fortunately I was near home and my husband was driving behind me.
I had to get out of the car and tell him to let me know when to turn and this was with several cars behind us. And, no I wasn't
a senior at the time. In fact, I was probably still in my 30's.)
Brain fog with me, as well as with many, includes
a lack of an ability to concentrate, to answer simple questions at times, and feelings of depression that go hand-in-hand
with the fog. It is not a depression stemming from problems or a hatred of life or self, it is a depressed feeling that is
organic, can't not explain it, and, with me, will automatically go away as soon as the fog clears.
Brain fog,
with some individuals, can be so severe it has caused them to get lost in their own neighborhoods or their reasoning may tell
them the freezer is a perfectly normal place to set the iron. The fog is distressing as we forget important dates, important
duties, and may even forget that someone we knew for many years had died (been there). We are embarrassed when birthdays are
forgotten or that we forgot a problem a friend confided in us and we know they are in need but we can't remember why and
we hate to ask them because it looks like we don't care.
The fog is often said by those who experience chronic
pain and weakness as the most distressing symptom they deal with, not only because of the way it affects their daily living,
but how it is so often misunderstood by others. Friends should never dismiss with, "Oh, I'm so forgetful too!"
or "Wait 'til you get my age!" Yes, we will all experience forgetfulness and a certain amount of dementia as
we age, but "fog" goes beyond this as the one who is ill has had to live with it from a young age and it has made
a huge impact on their lives. They may have lost friends because of it, or perhaps their job. They have been laughed at, disbelieved
and sometimes ridiculed.
While the fog itself is no laughing matter, sometimes it can produce some funny
outcomes and it helps those of us with it to laugh at ourselves, at times. If you have a friend who experiences brain fog,
chemo fog, fibro fog or whatever, go ahead and share a laugh with them, as long as they know you believe their fog exists
and that you sympathize with them when they need it.
A
Christian Life
From the light house, brightly beaming
A Christian life is like
As he focuses on God and His
promises
As he glorifies God through his life. A Christian life
is like a city
Set high, majestic on a hill
Magnifies his love for God
By his obedience, doing His will. A Christian life is like salt
Used for perfect seasoning
Without it’s savor,
is useless
But, with it is found richness
Strength, and joyful living. If
you are a Christian
Let your life portray Christ
Allow others to see your joy and peace
That could be theirs
too
Simply by Christian living. Matt. 5: 13-14 …. Ye are
the salt of the earth: but, if salt has lost his savor… good for nothing… Ye are the light of the world, a city
that is set high on a hill cannot be hid." by Alma Norman
Copyright 2004
"She smiles entirely too much & looks too good to have
anything wrong with her." NOTE
FROM DEB: My comment is about something I have endured
for 22 yrs. I have had a total of 16 surgeries, I have FMS (Fibromyalgia), CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Costacondritis
in the rib heads, Thorastic outlet syndrome, Osteoarthritis of the spine & hips & hands. All of which are hidden handicaps.
To look at me you would never know anything was wrong. I
have a handicap placard for our cars. I was 28 when I started with constant back pain. My son's were 6 & 8. It was
difficult enough to hide pain from them and spare my husband of the horrible mess the pain made of me. On my bad days when
I would use my handicap parking or I would break down and ride the motorized chairs. I was threatened by people, had the police
called on me, told that I should be ashamed of myself those were for handicap people. The
most horrifying to me was when Christians would say things like: "She smiles entirely too much & looks too good to
have anything wrong with her." Then if I complained it was: "She talks about it too much." The most hurtful
to me was, when I was in a great deal of pain, I was told I look angry at times. I even told people if they saw me doing that
PLEASE tell me. I work so hard to not let the pain show, but it will from time to time. I've had people go and tell others
that I looked at them like I wanted to slap them or I was angry with them. PLEASE
do not hold it against a person when they look good and have a good day. You never know how much it took to just get dressed
that day. I know for myself, at times I would be completely ready to walk out the door to go to services on a normal pain
day and it turned into a be-in-bed horrible pain day. I can be in horrible pain for days or parts of the day and have a few
hours that I can get out. I never know what my body is going to do to me. PLEASE
do not ignore them or get upset with them when they have a bad day, if you see a look on their face that concerns you, ask
first, don't say bad things about them without approaching them to see how they are doing. Know that the pain is enough
for them to deal with and don't add judging them to the hardships they endure each day. I know there are some who are not easy to live with when they are grumpy. I have dealt with those
people too. I work so hard myself not to be grumpy, but there are days it takes God to strengthen me all day long to be nice
to myself!! Pain is not an excuse to be hateful to people, but I do plead with everyone to take the time to first ask themselves,
what may have made a person react to something the way they did. Say a prayer for yourself and for that person, then wrap
your arms around that grumpy person and tell them that you admire the strength that they must have to fight their pain. You
might just find a smile instead of a frown, or a tear in place of a angry face. Let us build one another's faith up, not
destroy it with a quick response. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ WHICH MASK SHALL WE WEAR TODAY? I appreciate Deb's
note (above). So often we don't want to admit our negative encounters because we feel ungrateful and complaining, but
her experience is very typical for most ICIers. If we are too well looking we may not get the help we need, as well as others
not understanding when we turn down invitations or miss meeting with the saints. If we decide to be honest with all we are
going through and tell just how bad we are, sometimes we are judged as complainers because no one can feel so bad and look
so good. We often put on our mask and smile and say "I'm fine,"
and most of the time that's OK for we don't want to come across as constant complainers and we want to be treated
as "normal." At times (like handicap parking) we may remove that mask and put on our "I'm sick" mask
so no one will give us those looks of why we are parking in a handicap zone. However,
there are times when we want to rip off the mask and just be able to comfortably say, "I feel rotten!" without others
thinking we are grumbling. Other times we want to say, "I feel great!" and be believed and rejoiced with (even if
the "I feel rotten" may be just around the corner.) Mask are useful, however, and they serve their purpose as long
as we are able to remove them at times when we need others to realize we can not function well and those frowns stem from
true pain and weakness. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ As you see, I'm not a poet, but Deb's letter, as well as a real-life story of an individual
with a terminal illness who wasn't believed, because they looked so good, prompted me to write this: Isn't she happy?
Isn't she sweet?
Never a frown
Never a defeat!
Her life must be easy
Her life must be great
She can't be that bad
Even though she will state:
"I
feel very ill and
My thinking is dull."
But she complains too much,
For she looks wonderful!
If she'd just get busy
If she'd just think right
Her
"illness" would be gone
It would
be no where in sight. (few
months pass)
No! How can this be?
How can she be dead?
She didn't seem all that sick;
I thought it was just in her head.
She looked too good and
Such an uplifting tone;
It was
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