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I had a little tea party
This afternoon at three.
‘Twas very small --
Three guests in all --
Just I, Myself and Me.
Myself ate all the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea;
‘Twas also I who ate the pie
And passed the cake to me.
via Joanne's pleonast blog
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NOTE FROM PAT: Such
a cute little poem, above. It could go along with several kinds of articles like contentment with being alone with self
or perhaps an article on selfishness. I have chosen another topic from Joanne's Pleonast blog to go along with the
poem... having a tea party, not by choice, but by circumstance.
Alone, All Alone by Joanne Beckley
During this festive season, I am hearing a lot of pain, expressing
how very alone they feel at this time of year. “My husband is dead.” “I’ve lost my career.”
“My sweetheart has chosen another.” “My husband is sleeping with another woman.” These are painful
words that I realize reflect deep grief because the pain is seemingly too strong and deep to bear. I understand that even
after the sharp pains of grief lessen, we have to face that we no longer have someone nearby who knows, understands and accepts
us as we are. People all around us – yet so far away. Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink. . . .
What we don’t realize is that we can experience two kinds of loneliness, and often the combination of both. Physically
separated, we feel a deep loss, no longer able to feel the touch of those we love and who love us. But it is the other kind
of loneliness that is far heavier to bear. It is when we feel an isolation in spirit. It is when eyes glaze into ours, and
they cannot read our deep needs. As the psalmist said, “No man cares for my soul” (Psalm 142).
Jesus
Christ suffered from an isolation in spirit but he sought help from the only source who could give him relief. Rejected and
misunderstood he spent much time in prayer with his father in heaven. Even on the night of his betrayal, he urged his disciples
to also seek help . . . but they slept on. Jesus has provided us with the key to triumph over loneliness while we face our
problems. He told his disciples, “The Father is with me” (John 16:32). Knowing that He was doing God’s will,
Jesus could totally depend on God’s nearness to Him. This too can be our strength in times of loneliness.
Loneliness
is caused by a breakdown in emotionally giving and receiving. It is downright difficult to reach out or to accept loving care
in return. The pain seems overwhelming. Might I suggest the following determined activities that helped me and can help you
return to the joy of service that in turn helps us to manage our feelings of loneliness.
1. First and foremost,
dust off your Bible and study the Scriptures. “These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son
of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God”
(1 John 5:13). Belief includes living what we believe. Therefore we must obey His commands.
2. Forgive those who have
hurt you. “Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken
together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to
you." (Luke 6:37-38).
3. With obedience to God in mind, list compelling goals for your life.
4. Reach out and
serve. Looking to the needs of others releases us from being self-centered. "I have shown you in every way, by laboring
like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to
give than to receive.'" (Acts 20:35)
5. Write your prayers in a notebook where you can return to previous pages
and actually see proof that your prayers are being answered.
6. Learn a new skill and seek ways to use it in helping
others.
7. Make an effort to improve your health. Dress each morning – including proper footwear.
8. Plan
tomorrow’s tasks so that you can arise from you bed with purpose.
9. Treat yourself with something you enjoy doing.
10. Accept that change is accomplished one day at a time.
Psalm 121
I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your
foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor
sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by
day, Nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD
shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.
Advice
from a widow:
I'm a widow and live alone. Please invite me into your family to share in common things. Many people
are very attentive at the beginning, but the loneliness lasts and is sharper weeks and months longer. Call me. Suggest we
get together. Though I initiate contact with others, I sometimes feel like I'm horning in. Hug me. Put an arm around me or
rub my shoulders. I have lost the human contact of my mate. Call on me for help. I need to feel needed. Don't always put me
with the girls. I long for male conversation (even just listening) at times. Sometimes I grow weary of woman's talk and just
want a male point of view. I have lost my balancer. My husband balanced my way of thinking by helping me understand his thoughts
on subjects. Invite me to sit with you at services or just come sit by me. Mention something that you loved about my husband
or just that you miss him. I don't want to feel that everyone has forgotten him. Call me or write me a note on his birthday,
our anniversary or the date he died just to let me know you're thinking of me. Tell me that you know my husband would be proud
of me for "doing so well." written 12/21/09
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