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, WRESTLE UNTIL DAY BREAKS J Beckley
As Jacob drew neared to his home in Canaan, he learned
his brother Esau was coming toward him with a great number of men. In fear for his life Jacob prayed to God for help, reminding
God of His promise given some 21 years before. He also prepared what he could to try and save the lives of his family.
"Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day" (Gen 32:24). I can only
imagine how astonishing Jacob was when faced with a man who challenged him to fight "to the death". But Jacob fought
that man until the skies began to grow light. Suddenly, the man merely touched Jacob where the
hip and thigh join and immediately Jacob went lame. Jacob then knew this was not just any man! The Man begged, "Let
Me go, for the day breaks." But he said, "I will not let You go unless You bless me!" (Gen 32:26). Now,
notice why God gave Jacob a blessing: "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled
with God and with men, and have prevailed" (Gen 32:28). We can draw strength
from Jacob’s absolute determination to win against this unusual Man. He was faced with a challenge, not of his making,
but nevertheless a challenge that had to be acknowledged and one that he could not afford to ignore. He fought the Man ALL
NIGHT LONG! He didn’t give up. He didn’t quit. Jacob then received his blessing: the Man spared Jacob’s
life, giving him the amazing name, "Israel" which means "he will rule as God" (fulfilled in fathering
the nation chosen to bring Jesus into the world). Jacob honoured the gift and gave thanks by naming the place "Peniel"
which means, "the face of God". Jacob didn’t let go of the Man until he
had received a blessing. And neither should we. Every difficult task we face throughout
our lives needs to be completed. Otherwise, where is the blessing? Every task or goal that is discarded and unfinished weakens
our character. We don’t even want to remember that we once had "great plans" but we didn’t have the
gumption to complete them. "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from
the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ" (Col 3:23-24). This word
"heartily" includes coming from all aspects of our being, our mind, our body, our immortal soul. Have you ever read Ecclesiastes 9:10 and wondered what the connection is within the verse between telling us to work
with all our might and you can’t take work, wisdom and knowledge to the grave? When we look up the Hebrew word translated
"might," we discover that not only are we to work with all our strength, but with all our substance, our wealth!
That should grab our attention. We have to ask ourselves, how have we used what we have physically accumulated? Is there strength
in it? That is, has our material tasks and goals brought us blessings from the Lord? Finishing
what we start must be taught to our children from a young age, to learn to take satisfaction in a job well done. A work ethic
of this caliber is "over-countable" when it comes to our service to the Lord in His vineyard. Churches grow! When
we read of the seven churches in the book of Revelation who were judged by Jesus Christ, one cannot help but be impressed
with His emphasis on whether the church had persevered and not become weary in well doing – or had become completely
apathetic, simply marking time, ignoring any challenge that can help them grow spiritually – the church had just quit! No one wants to be accused of being a quitter. And Jesus certainly has no use for one. Let us continue to wrestle
with God and man that we too may receive a blessing.
 Thank
you so much for the articles on chronic illness. I deal with pain on a daily basis. I am 51 and overweight and so many think
that my pain is from the weight but, while possible a contributing factor, it is from the fibromyalgia. The stiffness and
joint pain. Some days I can walk with ease and the next day it is like I cannot move, yet I am working 12 hours a day at a
job! I am blessed to have a boss who allows me to sit when I can and never complains about it even though others around do.
They think I am lazy but the truth is I am in pain. Keep the articles coming. Even other Christians judge me for my lack of
walking around to talk when it hurts to walk.Thanks so much.
Thank
you so much for writing. I wasn't sure if you wanted your name included, so I left it off. I'm glad you brought out the fact
you are overweight and being judged on that criteria, rather than the fact you have FMS. We have not dealt with that topic. FMS
pain and fatigue greatly afflicts skinny women, overweight women and everyone in between. We are all so quick to
judge (misjudge). It's one of my biggest irritations with people and, yet, I catch myself doing it as well, at times. If others
only knew the effort it takes for you to do any work, much less work 12 hours a day outside the home! If they did
understand you'd be getting a medal rather than misjudgments. I'm thankful your boss understands and is helpful. Be assured
there are many of us who understand you, empathize with you, and believe you are terrific for the effort you make
when you'd rather just go home and curl up in bed. Ladies, let's
all work on our view of others and make sure our thoughts are based on fact and not on personal opinion. (I'm including myself
in this admonishment as well.) To the sister who wrote in, always
remember God knows what you are going through and He understands your limitations. May He bless you and strengthened you in
spirit as well as in the body. -Pat
PATHWAY
OF PAIN If my days were untroubled and my heart always light,
would I seek that fair land where there is no night?
If I never grew weary with the weigh of my load,
would I search for God's peace at the end of the road?
If I never knew sickness and never felt pain,
would I search for a hand to help and sustain?
If I walked
without sorrow and lived without loss,
would my soul seek solace at the foot of the cross?
If all I desired
was mine day by day,
would I kneel before God and earnestly pray?
If God sent no winter to freeze me with
fear,
would I yearn for the warmth of spring every year?
I ask myself these and the answer is plain,
if
my life were pleasure and I never knew pain-
I'd seek God less often and need Him much less,
for God is sought
more often in times of distress.
And no one knows God or sees Him as plain-
as those who have met Him on the
"Pathway of Pain."author unknown
 ...A topic I would like discussed
on this page is: Becoming weary in well doing while contending with chronic pain.
Becoming
weary in well doing while contending with chronic pain.
Pat Gates
Let him who is taught the word share
in all good things with him who teaches. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also
reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap
everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore,
as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:6-10
My migraines last 3 days. The first day is difficult. The
second day is worse and the pain begins to ease and then disappears on the 3rd day. Functioning is difficult and I get tired
of the pain but I tell myself, "only 2 days to go," or "only 1 day to go." I know the pain will end; it
always does. Chronic pain, however, is quite another matter;
it goes on and on and on, perhaps with a break in severity now and then, but its presence, to some degree, is always there.
It takes a great deal of adjustment to both body and mind in order to live with chronic pain without falling into despair.
One of the preludes to despair is weariness; becoming weak at heart and endurance stretched to the point of exhaustion. The
feeling of weariness is a normal human response to chronic pain, fatigue, grief, concern, fear, and persecution. Feeling weary
because of negative outside forces we can't control is not a sin (see articles below on Discouragement
and Encouragement). 2 Corinthians 11:27; Paul describes his "weariness and toil" in the
perils he encountered while teaching the gospel. No one is
so spiritually strong that he/she will not feel weary when dealing with chronic pain (no matter what the source). The reason
for this is the fact we are housed in a fleshly body: "The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak,"
(Matt. 26:41). Paul describes the chronic battle between flesh and spirit in (Romans 7). So are those in chronic pain doomed to a life of weariness? Is weariness so normal
to the human condition that we are to accept it to the degree it too will be chronic? If we do, we will be in danger of falling
into despair, which can easily lead to sin. In Paul's struggle with weariness he comes to two conclusions: (1) Chronic "thorn" pain can lead to spiritual
strength: "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a
thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing
I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the
power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses,
for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong," 2 Cor. 12:7-10. (2) Recognition that spiritual victory over the flesh is through Jesus Christ and to
be victorious in Jesus, self-control of the spiritual man over the sinful flesh is necessary: I find then a law, that
evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I
see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which
is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through
Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin. Rom. 7:22-25.
Doing good while weary with pain. "And
let us not grow weary in doing good...therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all." "But pain prevents me from doing good and that also wearies me." Pain, illness, and disabilities
can prevent us from doing many good things that those with health are capable of doing, however, we need to understand
that "let us not grow weary in doing good" is not commanded to just those with health, but to all. So how can one
practice "doing good" as well as "doing good to all" when they have a body that prevents them from getting
out of the house or even out of bed? How can one do good when the pain is so overwhelming it is difficult to move, much
less concentrate on anything or anyone?
Doing good while living with chronic pain, illness, and disabilities
is a matter of living righteous even though weariness may tempt us with giving into the flesh: - It is good to control thoughts. I know from personal experience how
weariness from illness can tempt us with negative thoughts about ourselves, others, and life itself. Controlling these thoughts
with prayer, reading the word of God, and rational thinking are good works.
- It is good to persevere in faith and trust in God. Pain and illness can tempt us with human
reasoning and we may begin to misjudge God's character, having irrational, and perhaps sinful, thoughts that God doesn't care
or have power to help us. We begin to believe God is not listening to our prayers because the relief we are seeking isn't
coming. It is a good work for us to read about God's character as revealed in the word of God and to have faith to come before
the throne of God in prayer, with all confidence that we have a caring God who understands, is listening, and will answer
our prayer according to His will as He acts in our best spiritual interest. "For we do not have a High Priest
who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore
come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need," Hebrews 4:15-16.
- It is good to grow in patience. Those with pain and illness
can easily become impatient with themselves, with others, and with life itself. "By patience possess your souls,"
Luke 21:19. Practicing patience is a good work.
- It
is good to persevere and not give up. No matter how bad the pain gets, no matter how long we must endure the
pain, we can not give up and give in to "fleshly lusts which war against the soul," (1 Pet. 2:11).
There may be times when this is the only "good work" we can do when pain becomes so severe we are unable to
function.
- It is a good work to hope.
And not only so, but ourselves also, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit,
even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for our adoption, to wit,
the redemption of our body. For in hope were we saved: but hope that is seen is not hope: for who hopeth for that which he
seeth? But if we hope for that which we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. And in like
manner the Spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit himself maketh intercession
for us with groanings which cannot be uttered; and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is
the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are
called according to his purpose. (Rom 8:23-28)
- Self-control in action is a good work. Self-control is
what we watch on TV, what novels and books we read, and how much time we spend with fleshly verses spiritual thoughts. Self-control
in how we treat others is a good work. Are we impatient with others? Do we forget to thank others for their help, especially
our husband and children? Or do we give ourselves an excuse to act however we want to because "we can't help it,"
because we are sick and deserve attention and self-focus.
- Doing
for others, within functioning ability, is a good work. Praying for others, contacting those who have needs,
giving of material goods, putting thoughts on others, and whatever we are physically able do to help another is a good work.
Often perseverance is the only "good work" we can
do. It is a good work that does not get applause from others, as it is a work that often goes unseen; it is a battle between
spirit and flesh that is often fought alone in the confines of the home and in the bed. It is a lonely battle. However, one
is never alone as the Lord sees and understands and forever is with us in our inner, private struggles. He "applauds"
the one who perseveres and provides hope for a better day to come.
Ways to combat weariness: While weariness due to chronic pain is not a sin, it is important to combat it on a
daily basis in order to keep despair from overtaking the spirit. Despair not only creates a life of misery but sin is right
outside the door; temptation to sin will become an even greater battle that despair can not overcome due to a weakened
spirit. Here is a list of weapons and armor to keep weariness
from winning the battle between the flesh and the spirit: - Understand your duel identity of flesh and spirit and the importance of self-control:
"The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." On
the night of His betrayal, the Lord admonished his disciples to remain watchful, as sleep was overcoming them. The Lord didn't
need them to watch out for his safety in order to hide when the guards came, but rather to watch out for Satan's temptations
because while their spiritual man was willing to stand strong, their flesh was weary. As a roaring lion, Satan pounces on
the weary because he knows the great battle between flesh and spirit. Jesus stated a fact that man's flesh is weak (in
physical limitations as well as fleshly desires) and it is imperative that man remain watchful for temptation and
signs of spiritual weakness in allowing the flesh to rule the spirit. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take
heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will
not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may
be able to bear it, 1 Cor. 10:12-13. Paul discribes this
great battle between flesh and spirit, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that
I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do," Rom. 7:15. Although Paul recognizes this struggle, he also understands
he must bring his flesh under control of his spirit: "But I buffet my
body, and bring it into bondage: lest by any means, after that I have preached to others, I myself should be rejected,"
1Co 9:27.
- Pray.
Remember, our Lord understands weariness of mind and body; He lived among man, experiencing fatigue, pain, rejection, loneliness,
and "was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin," Therefore, since we have a great high priest
who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not
have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just
as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help us in our time of need, Heb. 4:14-16. Our Father wants us to go to Him with all our concerns: Be
anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus, Phil. 4:6-7.
- Be Christ-like. Learn from the Lord's example of perseverance: Therefore
we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily
ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher
of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at
the right hand of the throne of God, Heb. 12:1-2. The Lord became weary in His flesh as well as His emotions, but
He kept His flesh in subjection to His spirit by knowing His purpose was to do His Father's will and not His own:
- Ask for help. While weariness may not be a "fault"
you can help, it can be controlled by Confessing your faults one to another and pray for one another ,"
James 5:16. We should seek spiritual help, as well as physcial. Many times others want to help but they don't
realize a person needs help or they are ignorant of how to help. However, there may be times
we may not find help. If you haven't experienced chronic illness or chronic trials of any type, you may not understand that
help is not always available due to what I call, chronic-burn-out accompanied by chronic-apathy. It doesn't matter if
the chronically ill has a terminal illness or not, family and friends sometimes get use to a chronically ill
person's way of life and it all becomes commonplace to them; apathy settles in or a weariness of having to hear the same problems,
the same "complaints," the same ol' same ol'. (May God bless the ones with health who continue to care and never
give up on those with chronic conditions.) When this happens, even those with terminal illness, can ask for help
or make it be known in some way they need help, and still no one responds. Believe me, it happens. If you can't find help and you've tried, then you must remember you are never alone, as God
is near. He hears your cries. He see your tears. He knows and understands your weariness. He has power to help you. You must
always take your cares to God, whether or not you have help from others.
- Count your blessings and be thankful. If a Christian loses every earthly possession, she still has the greatest blessing of all - salvation
and hope through the blood of Jesus Christ! If a child of God lives in pain, sickness, and loneliness every day of her life,
she still can look forward to a heavenly home for eternity, free from all pain and grief. She has a heavenly Father watching
over her and always near to hear her pleadings, always willing to help and to strengthen. And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of Christ
rule in your hearts, to the which also ye were called in one body; and be ye thankful. (Col 3:14-15)
- Read God's Word.
Sometimes pain, fatigue, and mental fog make reading very difficult, but even a few verses will give needed strength. Write
down verses and put them around the house to help you strengthen your spirit and to remind yourself to keep on keeping on.
In my Bible, I have underlined with a red pencil all the verses in Psalm that remind me God is near and is my hope and salvation
when life gets difficult. Sometimes when reading is difficult, all I have to do is look for the underlined verses and read
a few or many, according to my functioning level. Other times when I can't read, my husband will read to me. This is an area
I need to improve in as it is sometimes a battle fatigue and brain fog.
- Set your mind on others. Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being
of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of
mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for
the interests of others. Phil. 2:2-4
Dear sisters, let us not grow weary while doing
good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
“To the angel of the church
of Ephesus write, ‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven
golden lampstands: “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil.
And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have
patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that
you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will
come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. Rev. 2:1-5
***********
PSALM 6 O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger,
Nor
chasten me in Your hot displeasure.
Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak;
O
LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
My soul also is greatly troubled;
But
You, O LORD—how long?
Return, O LORD, deliver
me!
Oh, save me for Your mercies’ sake!
For in
death there is no remembrance of You;
In the grave who
will give You thanks?
I am weary with my groaning;
All night I make my bed swim;
I
drench my couch with my tears.
My eye wastes away because of grief;
It
grows old because of all my enemies.
Depart from
me, all you workers of iniquity;
For the LORD has heard the voice
of my weeping.
The LORD has heard my supplication;
The
LORD will receive my prayer.
Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled;
Let
them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.
***********
To whom
then will you liken Me,
Or to whom shall I be equal?” says the Holy
One.
Lift up your eyes on high,
And
see who has created these things,
Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name,
By the greatness
of His might
And the strength of His power;
Not
one is missing.
Why do you say, O Jacob,
And
speak, O Israel:
“ My way is hidden from the LORD,
And
my just claim is passed over by my God”?
Have you not known?
Have
you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The
Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His
understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And
to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths
shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But
those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They
shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They
shall walk and not faint.
Isa. 40:25-31
***********
For our citizenship is in heaven, from
which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed
to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself. Phil. 3:20-21 , ,
.DiscouragementSteven Harper
Some disciples have an erroneous idea that it is somehow sinful for a follower of God to be discouraged, even for
a moment. This idea is probably a result of so much teaching and preaching on the idea that Christians should
not be discouraged, or that we have so many blessings, we don't really have cause for discouragement. However
this might come to be accepted, the idea is taking the truth a little further than need be, because discouragement in itself
is not sinful. There are some consequences of discouragement that may certainly be unwelcome and
not beneficial to the people of God, but that is another issue altogether.
Discouragement, by definition, means to deprive of confidence, hope, or spirit; to dissuade or deter; and
to hamper; hinder. In spiritual matters, discouragement cannot be a good thing, especially if one continues in the state
without addressing the cause. Someone may discourage another because of harsh words or ungodly behavior; others may be discouraged
because they are facing hardships and persecution; still others may simply be discouraged because they are not at the level
of spiritual maturity they desire. In each case and in every situation, however, the problem must be addressed and the one
who is discouraged must be given a solution for the discouragement.
But first, let
us note that some very godly people have been discouraged at times — sometimes justifiably so — but in all cases,
God had an answer. The point we should learn from this is that if we face disappointments and discouragement, God has an answer
for us, too. He has given us an answer to every cause for which His people may be discouraged.
David.
(Psalm 142) Here, the one we know as a man after God's own heart, admits, “my spirit was overwhelmed
within me” (v. 3). His plea to the Lord in this is the fact that none stand with him in his trials,
and feels abandoned. He says, “Look on my right hand and see, for there is no one who acknowledges me; refuge has
failed me; no one cares for my soul” (v. 4). He also said, “Attend to my cry, for I
am brought very low; Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are stronger than I” (v. 6). On
this occasion, David was discouraged by the lack of support from his fellow man, not unlike the plight many Christians experience
even today. But
note that David finds solace in another place: God. In that same psalm where he speaks of his discouragement with man, he
speaks the praise of God, who had never — and would never — forsake him.
He cries out to God with the confident assurance, “You are my refuge, my portion
in the land of the living” (v. 5). While others may have abandoned
him in his time of need, David knew that God would always be with him — a promise made to God's people even today (Heb.
13:5). If you are ever discouraged because it seems like your closest friends have abandoned you in times of trouble,
just remember this promise God has given and reclaim your hope. There is no reason to remain discouraged! (Psalms 32, 38) On another occasion, David again felt discouragement,
but it was of his own doing. Here, he writes, “When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the
day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer” (32:3,
4). And, “I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long. For my loins are full
of inflammation, and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble and severely broken; I groan because of the turmoil of
my heart. Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You. My heart pants, my strength fails me;
as for the light of my eyes, it also has gone from me. My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague, and my relatives
stand afar off” (38:7-11). This time, the cause for David's discouragement
and sorrow was his own sin! He recognized that, guilty, he stood under the heavy weight of God's hand [guilt for his sin]
and he also recognized that others saw his sin, too, and were ashamed to be near him. But, again, David also recognized there was a way out of this condition. In these same psalms, he recognized,
“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered” (32:1). And because
he knew this, he could say, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will
confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of
my sin” (32:5). He could also say, “For in You, O Lord,
I hope; You will hear, O Lord my God” (38:15). Even in such a discouraging situation — where you
know you have sinned against God and even others know you have sinned against God — there
was hope in the knowledge God answered his request and the confidence he could be forgiven. As children of God today [disciples of Jesus Christ], we have that same confidence! John tells the one
who is already a Christian, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us”
(1 John 1:8). But he doesn't stop there with words that might be a source of discouragement to all; he goes
onto say, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”
(v. 9). In Christ, we have the promise that, should we sin and should we repent and confess those sins, we
will be forgiven and cleansed from all unrighteousness! Again, there is no reason to remain discouraged! Elijah. (1 Kings 19) At this time in Elijah's
life, things were very bleak for a man of God. Ahab was king of Israel and Jezebel was his wicked queen. Ahab was said to have done “more to provoke the Lord God of Israel
to anger than all the kings of Israel
who were before him” (1 Kings 16:33). [Not a small accomplishment!] He followed after false gods, built
a temple for them in Samaria and erected an idol in that
temple. Apparently, they were very closely tied to the false prophets of these false gods, for they ate at the table of Jezebel
(18:19). If that wasn't enough, Jezebel
had massacred the prophets of God (18:4) and those who escaped were hiding in caves. But Elijah met those false prophets on Mt. Carmel and the Lord delivered a
decisive victory over them (18:20-40). Yet for all this, Jezebel still sought the life of Elijah and, immediately following this great victory
for the Lord, Elijah fled into the wilderness (19:1-4). It was here that Elijah stopped long enough to think
about his situation and began to get discouraged. He even prayed that his life might be taken because he had seen and faced
enough. But while there in the wilderness,
God came to him and asked why he was there. Elijah answered, “I alone am left; and they seek to take my life”
(19:10). When God came to him again in
the still, small voice and again asked why he was there, Elijah gave the same dejected answer: “I alone am left;
and they seek to take my life” (v. 14).
But
God had an answer for that, too! He revealed to Elijah, “Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every
mouth that has not kissed him” (v. 18). And today, many Christians feel this sense of
discouragement, thinking they are "alone" in a world of ungodliness but, once again, God has an answer. Just remember
there are many today who have not "bowed the knee" to worldliness and who are faithfully serving God where they
are. Whatever situation we may face — even if it seems like
we have lost all hope — there is no reason to remain discouraged. Remember God is near, and
in His Word we may find hope again.
.EncouragementSteven Harper
Previously, we considered the problem
of discouragement, which [by definition] is depriving one of courage; this week, let us consider its
opposite: encouragement. Encouragement, by definition, is to inspire with courage. It means
to stimulate by assistance, approval, etc. It is, again, the opposite of discouragement and
we can hopefully see which state is more preferable to the child of God, a disciple of Jesus Christ. And, we hopefully can
see which we should be trying to do for others! Surely there are enough reasons for discouragement in this world without brethren
adding to the problem; we need more brethren who are willing to do their part in encouragement. In spiritual
matters, encouragement might be heard more often as other terms: edification and exhortation. And on this,
the Scriptures teach us some important points about the place of the necessary edification and exhortation and what we can
do to be edifiers and exhorters, rather than those who discourage. As Christians, we are all striving to get to heaven and,
while here on earth, do the things that are pleasing to God and abstain from the fleshly desires. But we also understand that
the life of a disciple is not always easy. Sometimes we will get discouraged because things are
a little harder than we may have first imagined; sometimes we are discouraged by the behavior of our brethren; sometimes we
are discouraged by our own inability to live as we desire and we fail to attain our goals; and sometimes we just do not have
enough information to be able to give difficult answers. It is then that we need our brethren to do their part in building us up in the faith and giving us the boost we need
to continue as we should. But how is this to be done? Let us let the Scriptures tell us! First,
the Need. Last week, we addressed the erroneous idea that some have that discouragement should be absolutely
foreign to the mind of a Christian — and, particularly, how it is an erroneous idea. The fact
is, some brethren do get discouraged. Whether we want to admit it or not does not change the fact
of the matter, and it would be utterly ridiculous to argue the matter if a brother in Christ told you that he was discouraged
and you insisted he just couldn't be because, well, Christians just don't do that! [Meanwhile, he
wallows in his state of discouragement while you are arguing over the very possibility.] And Scripture tells us that there
is a need and, if there is a need, that means it does happen. Paul urged the Roman brethren to “pursue
the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another” (Romans 14:19
). Why worry about edifying if there is no need? The necessary implication is there is a need. The writer of Hebrews
— writing to the first-century Jewish Christians who had already suffered persecutions and who were contemplating abandoning
the faith and making a return to following the Old Law — pointed to the great need of encouragement for those who were
soul weary and discouraged by the fight in which they were involved. To them he wrote, “Therefore strengthen the
hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated,
but rather be healed” (Hebrews 12:12 , 13).
More than ever, these brethren needed someone to encourage them to hang on and dig in and not abandon the faith by which they
would be saved. There was a clear need, and to ignore it would have proved disastrous for those
affected. Let us admit that there may be some today who face some difficult hurdles in their spiritual lives and who could
use the encouraging words of those who have walked the same path. So, what words do we speak to them? Point
them to the Word of God. The apostle Paul, as he was about to depart from the Ephesian elders who had met him in
Miletus, said, “So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you
up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified” (Acts 20:32). After giving them a very serious charge
to watch out for the souls of the brethren and to be alert to the “grievous wolves” who would soon enter
into the flock, he pointed them to the answer for the coming dangers and that which would be the very source of encouragement
to fight the good fight: the Word of God! Today, we have elders who — far too often — pick up the latest best-seller
and the writings of popular "Christian" authors [who are not true followers of Christ at all] and give this to their
flock as words of encouragement, rather than the Word of God. Why is this? Do we not trust that the divinely-inspired Word
of God is sufficient? Is it that the leadership does not believe that God's Word is "up to date" with our modern
society? Has the Bible become irrelevant, at least in the minds of those who lead us? If so, that ought to tell us where the
church will be heading in the near future — and it won't be in the direction of heaven! It
is in the word of God that we read story after story of those who have walked the paths of faith and who have suffered greatly
for their faith — and who have been crowned with eternal life as a reward. It is there that we read of faithful men
who neared the end of their earthly life but who still looked forward — to the promised reward and of eternal life in
heaven with the Savior (II Timothy 4:7, 8).
It is there that we read of those who have unashamedly believed the promises of God and trusted Him enough to obey without
question and who were rewarded with the praise of God and, now, the eternal rest (Hebrews 11). When brethren today need encouragement,
there could be no greater source than God's Word. Don't overlook the positive influence it may have on those who are weary
and heavy-laden, and who seek the rest for their souls. Remind them
they can do it. When anyone is feeling overwhelmed or feels like they cannot, by themselves, deal with the
pressures they face, we should remind them that — as a Christian — they can do it. When the apostle
Paul was in prison because of his faith, he wrote to the brethren to encourage them
to “stand fast” in the faith (Philippians 1:27 ) and considered even that his own imprisonment was a positive thing (Phlippians 1:14). He was right! [Read Philippians 1:13 and then Philippians
4:22 ; some of the palace guard must have been convinced and converted by Paul while they
guarded him!] But in this letter to the Philippian brethren, he could say with all certainty, “I can do all things
through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). We would do well to remember that, too, and we would do much good if we reminded the ones who are discouraged. What
words of encouragement — to hear that we can do all things! Or is it that we
really do not believe those words? Why would we allow someone to dwell in their state of discouragement when we have such
potentially-powerful words? Why not speak those words and build them up in the faith instead of letting them wallow in discouragement?
If an imprisoned man who faced the possibility of death for his faith can find encouragement in those words, how about you?
Step in and
lend a hand. If you remember, part of the definition of encouragement is to stimulate
by assistance. In other words, you can encourage someone by simply lending a hand! Remember Elijah, when he felt like
"he alone was left" in all Israel? Remember
the words of God, how He told Elijah that he was not alone? And what if good old Barnabas [whose
name means “son of encouragement”] had never stepped in to speak up on behalf of Saul (Acts 9:26, 27)? Today,
when we feel discouraged because we feel like we are overwhelmed with the work of God or just life, in general, it does immeasurable
good when someone steps up and says, "Here, let me help you." Sometimes, all we need to hear is that someone is
there and that someone cares. Will you be that one?
, finding positive friendships that nurture our
health Sometimes we feel totally
alone in a world of healthy people. If we are isolated because we are so ill as to be house bound it is especially difficult.
But even for those who are still working or active in other ways there is a sense of being set apart. Friends and coworkers
may not understand what we are going through and we may be hesitant to tell them. For many of us our condition is
hidden so we are forced to explain when we aren't able to do something whether it be an assignment at work or an outing with
friends. We get varying reactions. In the cases of fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue disorder people may hint we are being a
hypochondriac. If your condition is life threatening some people are too uncomfortable to even talk with you while others
are full of advice and quick fixes. We don't need to share our chronic condition with everyone. It's just not worth the awkward
conversation that is usually too brief to help. But we do very much need supportive understanding from family and dear friends.
These people who love us the most may seem
like they don't fully comprehend our situation. Especially at first they are reluctant to believe we won't be well soon. Each
time we have a remission they are sure that we are completely healthy again. It's up to us to explain again and again how
we are feeling and what we are able to do. Some of us worry that we are complaining too much so we minimize our symptoms.
It's best to stay calm and tell it all as accurately as we can. In other cases those close to us become overly solicitous
and we have to help them see that though we appreciate their caring, too much concern can hurt. It is a blessing when those who are close to us understand our disability but that
doesn't mean we dwell on our symptoms. Whenever possible we need to just enjoy other people and take pleasure in doing the
things that we are able to do with them. Most of us will find our circle of acquaintances gradually becomes smaller because
we haven't the energy to get out a lot. Even some good friends drift apart. It's hard for a high energy person to stay connected
with a friend who tires easily. Other friends become dearer than ever. The Internet has become a wonderful resource for those of us with chronic illness. We can find information, message
boards and chat rooms where we are able to connect with people who have similar conditions. We find sympathy and support in
these places. But we don't want to become preoccupied with our limitations. There are sites and message boards on just about
every hobby and interest you can dream of. You might choose to join a block of the month club on a quilting site, get involved
in a writers forum or even take an art class online. Our time and limited energy is precious to us and it helps to plan carefully how we want to use it. This may mean
skipping that social get together Friday night or it may mean going but limiting our time there. Perhaps the occasion is so
special that it's worth risking a setback in order to enjoy the full evening. One way some of us wear ourselves down is by staying online too long. We need to make the same kind of decisions
about computer friends and support. Picking a couple of forums to participate in and using a chat program to talk to special
friends can be wonderful ways to connect with others. It's a matter of getting online only for those activities that nurture
us and then turning our computer off. Supportive
friends are important to our well being when we are chronically ill. Finding the nurturing friends that we need is hard work
when we are sick and feeling down. It won't happen overnight but with perseverance we can develop friendships based not only
on our disabilities but also on other common interests. We are worth the time and effort that takes. http://www.womenfolk.com/transcend/
, A Forever Friend Sometimes
in life, you find a special friend, someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone
who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone
who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is a Forever Friendship. When you're down, and
the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem
bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard
times, the sad times, and the confusing times. If you turn and
walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way,
your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever
friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete, because you need not worry. You have a forever friend for life, and forever has no end. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will
lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Eccl. 4:9-10 Author Unknown
Today I'm working at my imaginary coffee shop. It's not just
your usual coffee shop. It's special. It's were all of my friends gather to keep up with each other. The tables are made of
wood-each one topped with a beautifully decorated table cloth-maybe white with lace edges or even crisp gingham blocks. It's
spring outside, the sun is shining. There are fresh flowers on the tables. Bookshelvesline the walls with books and coffee
cups placed on them. There is a bbeautiful scene painted on the ceiling. The chairs are comfy and very plush. There is a maroon
sofa right inside the door. The front windows are lined with living plants. I don't just work here. I live here. This is where
my mind goes when i want to be with my friends. It's happy here. Fresh and clean and i'm surrounded with living things. Every
once in a while someone spills some 'milk'. But things always-always go back to normal. We all know we're loved and cared
for. We all know that in our hearts we will never be alone. So please come and have a cup of coffee with me. I'm sure you'll
love it here.The friendship will follow you always.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother
is born for adversity." .When the loud voice of condemnationRoared through my head,And the still whisper
of GodCould not be heard,He sent You with a word. .When stillness
eluded me,And no hand could
touch me,Coldness inside of me,With no arms to hold me,He sent You to enfold me.,When darkness surrounded
me,No light these eyes could see,When in pain and confusion,I called out to be free,He sent You to comfort me.,So now we walk arm in arm,Speaking heart to heart - my friend and I,Always knowing deep inside,That he designed,He assigned,You - my friend indeed. ,Maureen
Gedge
,Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! Psalm 107Let
us give thanks to the LORD for redeeming us from our enemy. 1 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For
His mercy endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy,
3
And gathered out of the lands,
From the east and from the west,
From the north and from the south. , Let us give thanks to the LORD for delivering us out of our distress for He satisfies our longing soul,
and fills our hungry soul with goodness! 4 They wandered in the wilderness in a desolate
way;
They found no city to dwell in.
5
Hungry and thirsty,
Their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And
He delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And He led them forth by the right way,
That they might go to a city for a dwelling place.
8 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And
for His wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the
hungry soul with goodness. Let us give thanks to the LORD for delivering us out of darkness, and by
His great mercy, forgives us and breaks us free from the bondage of sin!
10
Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in
affliction and irons—
11 Because they rebelled against the words of God,
And
despised the counsel of the Most High,
12 Therefore He brought down their heart with
labor;
They fell down, and there was none to help.
13 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And
He saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow
of death,
And broke their chains in pieces.
15
Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And
for His wonderful works to the children of men!
16 For He has broken the gates
of bronze,
And cut the bars of iron in two.
Let us give thanks to the LORD for delivering us from our transgressions that have brought
us affliction and saved us from ourselves! 17 Fools, because of their transgression,
And
because of their iniquities, were afflicted.
18 Their soul abhorred all manner of food,
And they drew near to the gates of death.
19
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And
He saved them out of their distresses.
20 He sent His word and healed them,
And
delivered them from their destructions.
21 Oh, that men would give
thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for
His wonderful works to the children of men!
22 Let them sacrifice the sacrifices of
thanksgiving,
And declare His works with rejoicing. Let
us give thanks to the LORD for calming our fears amidst the storms of life and gives us peace! m
23 Those who go down to the
sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters,
24 They see the works of the LORD,
And His
wonders in the deep.
25 For He commands and raises the stormy wind,
Which
lifts up the waves of the sea.
26 They mount up to the heavens,
They
go down again to the depths;
Their soul melts because of trouble.
27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man,
And
are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brings them out of their distresses.
29
He calms the storm,
So that its waves are still.
30 Then they are glad because they are quiet;
So
He guides them to their desired haven.
31 Oh, that men would give thanks to
the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful
works to the children of men!
32 Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
And praise Him in the company of the elders. Let us give thanks to the LORD for by His righteous judgment the wicked are punished and He blesses the
righteous' with their needs! The Lord provides our daily bread.
33 He turns rivers
into a wilderness,
And the watersprings into dry ground;
34 A fruitful land into barrenness,
For
the wickedness of those who dwell in it.
35 He turns a wilderness into pools of water,
And dry land into watersprings.
36
There He makes the hungry dwell,
That they may establish a city
for a dwelling place,
37 And sow fields and plant vineyards,
That
they may yield a fruitful harvest.
38 He also blesses them, and they multiply greatly;
And He does not let their cattle decrease.
39 When they are diminished and brought low
Through
oppression, affliction, and sorrow,
40 He pours contempt on princes,
And
causes them to wander in the wilderness where there is no way;
41 Yet He sets
the poor on high, far from affliction,
And makes their
families like a flock.
42 The righteous see it and rejoice,
And
all iniquity stops its mouth.
Let us give thanks to
the LORD for He sets us
on high when we are brought low by oppression, affliction, and sorrow!
43 Whoever is wise will observe these things,
And they will understand the lovingkindness of the LORD. Oh, that we would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, and for His wonderful
works to the children of men!
. Spring is a wonderful time for those of us with chronic,
acute, or terminal health conditions. It draws our attention away from ourselves and to the power of the Lord in
the beauty of His creation. Spring gives us hope of better days to come and it is a great reminder of eternal life that springs
out of what appears to be dead. Let's praise God and be thankful for His glory revealed to us in His annual re-creation of
the visual representation of hope! -Pat
For since the creation of the world
His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead.
Romans 1:20
, 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD
A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present “Seven Wonders of the
World.” Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes: 1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal 3. Grand Canyon 4. Panama Canal 5. Empire State Building 6. St. Peter’s Basilica 7. China’s Great
Wall.While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked
the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite
make up my mind because there were so many.” The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we
can help.” The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World’ are: 1.
To See 2. To Hear 3. To Touch 4. To Taste 5. To Feel 6. To Laugh
7. And to Love.”The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The things we overlook
as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous! A gentle reminder that the most precious
things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man. — Selected
4 WONDERS OF AGUR THE SON OF JAKEH There are three things which are too wonderful for
me,
Yes, four which I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the air,
The way
of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the midst of the sea,
And the way of a man with a
virgin. Proverbs 30:18-19
Job's wonder of understanding the wisdom
of God You asked, ‘Who is this who
hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore
I have uttered what I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Job 42:3
Springtime
Oh, spring came to my garden
And caught it unaware
Wearing just a few
old leaves
And a dejected air.
But when spring left my garden,
Its work so deftly done,
Many,
many Daffodils
Were dancing in the sun.
-Velma D. BATES.
Thoughts and Emotions After the Last
Cancer Treatment
The thoughts and emotions that come after cancer
treatments are over are not always what one expects. While there is major relief that the treatments are over and there
is hope for survival, for some, the feelings of fear, displacement, and a rush of various emotions may be present. There are several reasons why a person doesn't just feel a great joy and peace after treatment
and go about their lives like nothing has happened. One reason is because of surpressed emotions. All the emotions that the
individual tried their best to control for the sake of their family may come flowing out. It may come out as a flood or it
may leak out at the most unexpected times. It may not always come in the form of tears, but the feelings may be impatience
or anger. Other thoughts and feelings may be the concern of the reality of actually
being cancer-free, or will the cancer return. There may be feelings of isolation, depression, loss of confidence (especially
if appearance has been changed), and uncertainty as long-term treatments changed daily life to such an extreme that jobs, friends,
and "normal" living is had been a thing of the past. These emotions may be confusing because they were unexpected,
and the person may feel guilty as she believes she must be ungrateful and a hypochondriac for having these thoughts
and feelings. However, these thoughts and emotions are normal and with time and effort they will leave, for the most part,
and life will get back to normal. Howbeit it will be a new normal because of the knowledge and experienced gained, and life
can be better than ever. Concern about the future may remain and lasting scars (physical and emotional) may always be present,
but they do not have to take control of the mind and time. This "new normal" can be a blessing in many ways as a
new awareness and appreciation of life, friends, family, and most of all, hope and dependence on God in prayer and His word is
more of a priority than it ever was before.
The following are comments selected
from the web in regards to thoughts and feelings after the last cancer treatment:
 The main part of your treatment is over, and you can now begin to think about getting your life back. It’s a time
for celebration, feeling positive and looking forward. Or is it? Often, this is what people expect to feel as they approach
the end of their treatment. Your friends and relatives may also think that life will just settle down again and go back to
how it was before the cancer diagnosis. But the reality can be
different. Some people find that they’re facing new challenges and dealing with feelings they may not have had before.
People may experience a range of emotions when their treatment is over. This can come as a surprise to both the person having
treatment and those around them. As your hospital check-ups
become less frequent, your family and friends may comment that this is a good sign, and of course it is. However, going to
the hospital often gives people a sense of security, as well as being a place of treatment, and many people describe feeling
marooned and a little frightened when they no longer need to go back regularly. You may feel surprised by strong emotions,
such as: - fear that the cancer will come back
- anger that you are not able just to get on with life again
- irritation that the people around you do not understand how you feel.
You know, I was expecting to feel really relieved—happy—when I finished my cancer treatment. All during
those long months of feeling sick, I just kept thinking about how good I would feel when I was all done with it. But, when
that day actually came, I was surprised… I didn't feel excited at all. Just the opposite. Now, I feel kind of let down
and sad.
I know what you mean. I felt that way, too, for a long time… like, will the cancer come back if
I'm not taking any medicine?
For me, it was good to know that everybody at the clinic was watching out for me
during my treatment. I felt so alone when I stopped going. I felt very confused by these mixed feelings. I have to thank everybody
in this group for helping me through it. People who haven't been through it just don't get it sometimes.
That's
so true! You know what really bothers me? Some people at work are always complaining about all these little things, like traffic
or the weather. And, I am thinking about cancer and all the people fighting it. Sometimes I just want to just stand up and
scream, "Don't you know how lucky you are? What are you complaining about!" m Along with the many uncertainties that go with a diagnosis of cancer, there are also many fears. I hear them daily from
cancer survivors and their caregivers. The three fears I hear most often are: the fear of death; the fear of cancer recurrence;
and, the fear of being stigmatized as being "different" by the people in your life because of your cancer diagnosis.
, This isn’t a rollercoaster. No, it’s more like a see-saw. The ups-and-downs are fast, constant,
and sometimes even vicious. It wears out your heart, which feels like it’s shattering into thousands of pieces, and
just when you think you’ve collected all the shards to put it back together, it breaks again. -a daughter of a woman
with cancer
He said, "I'm afraid I have a bomb to drop on you. It came back cancer....." He continued on with
a flurry of statements that I just heard as "cancercancercancercancercancercancercancercancer" He stopped briefly
and looked at my glassy blank eyes, saying "Are you ok?!?" I nodded and didn't say a word. I failed
to tell him that I had no idea what he was telling me, because I didn't speak "cancer" very well. I didn't
tell him that instead of listening to him, I concentrated on my baby, who was happily eating soggy Cheerios from his stroller. Cancer has changed me, and while I would NEVER want to go through this again, I
am grateful for what I have learned during this journey. I have learned to appreciate my husband who can drive me crazy
at times. When he makes me nuts, I remember all that he did for me. I have learned to appreciate each and every
precious moment I have with my baby.
"The most difficult thing for me as a survivor is having a 'history' Any aches or pains I have result in
numerous tests. I am a runner and I was having pain in my hip. I went to the doctor and after a couple of appointments I had
a bone scan followed by an MRI. I was very fortunate that it was not cancer and I just needed a new pair of shoes!"
Always carry a good laugh inside, as humor is the foundation for successfully facing life's challenges. Funny
things do happen in the most desperate circumstances. We just have to take the blinders off. Of course this does not mean
that cancer is a laugh-a-minute experience because it certainly is not. We just need to be receptive to all parts of our life
and not only the bad."
During chemo, you're more tired than you've ever been.
It's like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you're out. You don't know how you'll answer the door when your
groceries are delivered. But you also find that you're stronger than you've ever been. You're clear. Your
mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception.
Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. Now it's instantaneous.
~Melissa Ban Know, then, whatever cheerful and serene
Supports
the mind supports the body too.
~John Armstrong When the
Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's
suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next. Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault I have learned to use the word impossible with the greatest caution. Physical strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear.
What Cancer Cannot
Do
Cancer is so limited .
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot
corrode faith,
It cannot destroy peace,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot
silence courage,
It cannot steal eternal life,
It cannot suppress memories,
It cannot conquer the Spirit.
FROM THE MAIL
I am a Breast Cancer Post-Op Specialist
and I see ladies everyday who are in such a flux with their life. There has been so much going on during surgery, treatment,
doctor visits, etc. that when the whirlwind stops, they are lost emotionally. The physical aspect of breast cancer heals
but the emotional journey is never ending. Many of them feel guilty for the feelings they are having so they bury their
emotions which causes so many other issues. I know, I did the same thing one year out. Thankfully, I found a counselor
who told me I was actually in a major stage of grieving. Yes, I was thankful I was well and had a great prognosis but
this cloud was hanging over me.
If
you are a survivor, seek help, it is out there. God provided us with trained individuals to help us through the mental/emotional
journey. He has provided help, we have to seek it out. There is something very cathartic in talking with someone who
is NOT emotionally tied to you and telling them your innermost thoughts and fears. If you think it, it needs to be brought
out and discussed. Keeping it in does you more harm as stress has shown to cause recurrences. Remember, God hears
your calls for help but He also provides us trained individuals to guide us through the dark times.
Melanie Cavender ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Melanie, thank you for writing. Your note is important to reinforce the fact that the
emotional ups and downs are a part of the cancer experience and how important it is to be able to talk to someone who will
allow the thoughts and feelings to flow. You made a point that few of us would think about: "God provides trained individuals to guide us through the
dark times." Many people may not seek help outside their family, personal friends, and spiritual family, but sometimes
we need someone who has experience with the emotional and physical problems we are facing. If not to receive advice, the very
least is to have someone to talk to who understands and this is, indeed, a blessing from God. Melanie, if you would like to, I would love for you to list some of the helpful advice you have given
to those with cancer and also to family members and friends. Thanks again for sending this email. - Pat
"Life is a journey that
sometimes takes unexpected detours...but detours that often turn out to be the best parts of the trip." posted by a breast cancer survivor
. Two quotes that those living with chronic illness will understand: “Courage
gets you from one minute to the next.”
“Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent.” .
NOTE FROM PAT:
The following was originally published in Guardian of Truth on September 9, 1993. I had obtained permission to reprint it
and I placed it in the November 1994 edition of Our Hope. I wanted to include it online and I had planned to say just a few
words about brother LaCoste but after re-reading the introduction I had placed in the previous Our Hope, I decided to include
the entire introduction. Brother LaCoste's example of faith and contentment is as encouraging as his article is. I realize
there is a lot of reading on this page, but please don't let that deter you from reading the entire article. If you read a
little at a time that would be fine. It is worth your time and effort. Last
week, as I re-read "Living with Infirmity," it helped me as much as it did originally. My functioning level has
gone down and I've been concerned that I may be in a "new normal" of functioning, in other words, am I going to
remain at this level? Brother LaCoste article helped me in accepting this may be the case, and if it's not, then that's great,
but either way, I need to accept my present condition and live the best I can for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
I do wish I had known brother LaCoste, but the following writings will reveal this faithful man of God to those of us who
never had the pleasure of meeting him in this life on earth.
Robert Wayne LaCoste "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." On 8/16/93 Robert Wayne LaCoste at the age of 44, departed from this life to be with his Lord. From
childhood he had a chronic lung condition condition. Eventually, the only solution to his condition was a double lung
transplant and he was on the waiting list for a transplant when he passedaway. Beginning at the age of 16 and continuing for
28 years, Bob LaCoste preached the gospel. When his physical condition required him to be on oxygen 24 hours a day, Bob preached
the word. He continued to hold gospel meetings, the last one being only 3 months before his death. He sometimes had to give
himself breathing treatments 30 minutes before time to preach and then immediately after the worship service was
over, just so he would have the strength to preach. If he couldn't stand, due to weakness, he would use a stool and continue
to preach. Bob stood for truth, never compromising the gospel. He was diligent in
study and lived by the standard he taught from God's word. He had an urgency to share the gospel with others and used every
ounce of his strength to do so. His good friend, Joe Price, had these words to say about Bob and his wife, Carolyn: "Through all of these trials I never heard Bob complain about his lot in life (a lesson all of
us can learn and apply!). Instead, I often heard him speak of Philippians 4:13, one of the truths from God's word from which
he drew comfort, 'I can do all things in Him that strengthened me.' Bob
leaves behind his wife, Carolyn, whom he loved very much. She stood beside him and supported him in all the years of
his work and through all the difficulties of his physical ailments. He loving and faithful devotion is an honor both
to Bob and to her."
Brother Bob LaCoste's brother-in-law, Harry
Osborne, was at Bob's side during the last hours of his time here on earth. Brother Osborne had this to say: "Over the last two months Bob reminded the whole family that things would soon be much better
- one way or the other. He would either be able to resume his responsibilities in this life with new lungs or he would depart
and be with the Lord. When the window of opportunity for the transplant passed, he calmly accepted death without fear or question.
By his example he preached a great sermon on faith in the face of death to all of those around him. In the last hours before
a transplant became impossible, drugs could not ease the pain. He asked the family to sing spiritual songs and read scripture.
Carolyn remained by his side at all times singing untold number of hymns. The brethren at Kleinwood made a tape of songs for
him. Unable to make a sound due to the ventilator tube down his throat, Bob mouthed the words. The thought of spiritual things
calmed him when nothing else could. As Bob passed from this life, our family was
by his side. Our love was with him throughout and continues until we meet him again before the eternal throne where there
will be no more separations. As he drew his last breath, I tried to sing, 'God be with you 'til we meet again.' Though the
words would not come out that was and is the sentiment of my heart. Heaven is more real to me now than it was before.
My desire to be there has increased. It is the hope given to us as Christians which makes our time of sorrow more bearable
than that of the world (1 Thess. 4:13-18). I do not say 'farewell' to my brother, but only 'God be with you 'til we meet again.'
I love you, brother."
. Living With Infirmity Robert Wayne LaCoste
The righteous Job declared,
"Man that is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble" (Job 14:1). Trouble; yes, it is inevitable. Jesus
sought to soothe the aching heart that possessed it, "Let not your heart be troubled, ye believe in God, believe also
in me" (Jn. 14: 1). The apostle Paul who had problems of his own, focused not on his own plight, but rather encouraged
others saying, "and to you who are troubled, rest with us" (2 Thess. 1:7). Perhaps
one of the greatest "troubles" in life is the physical suffering that comes out of chronic sickness or infirmity.
Jesus knew how much sickness disturbed people and troubled them in body and mind. Often we talk about the reasons Jesus performed miracles. Some seem to think the only reason he did them
was to prove that he was God's Son. Well, surely that was one reason. That may have in fact been the main reason, but it was
not by any means, the only reason. The Scripture reads, "And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved
with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick" (Matt. 14:14). When a man who was a leper came to Jesus desiring
to be healed, "Jesus moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou
clean" (Mk. 1:41). Jesus was touched then and is yet touched with our infirmities (Heb. 4:15).
As he viewed the masses, he felt for them. Though he was Deity, he knew what it was like to suffer in the flesh (Matt. 16:21)
and he was saddened to see such in the lives of others. Many of us have infirmities that have
no cure. These are chronic ailments some of us have had since birth and someday it is well known they will drag us down to
the grave with them. Often individuals with chronic diseases never know what it is like to be very healthy; perhaps they are
never healthy. When one's station in life is thusly fixed, it becomes imperative that this one
have a very close relationship with his Creator. Now of course, all of God's children ought to strive for closeness with the
Father; yet the person with chronic infirmity has a lot of unanswered questions that healthy folks never have to face. The
chronically infirmed therefore are compelled to have a unique kind of closeness with him who is the Father of our Spirits.
They are dependent in a different fashion upon his mercy than are those of healthy bodies and mind. Let's
talk about some of these questions. Some of these questions will be answered in God's Word; to others we may never find an
answer, at least in this life. But after all, gentle reader, if we had answers or felt we needed answers to every question
that confronted us in life, surely there would be no purpose or reason for faith. How Did This Happen? This question seems all so important to us, or so
we think. So often, infirmity wears a mask. It disguises its origin and will not tell us from whence it has come to plague
us. At times it will also be 'incognito" relative to its demeanor or behavior. It befuddles the physicians, and turns
the many health specialists to simply shaking their heads in confusion. The infirmity or sickness almost takes on a personality
of its own. Perhaps it should be looked upon as a person by us. It is a person that surely is an enemy to us, as the Christian
has many enemies and "messengers of Satan" to buffet him let's not make the mistake of hating our infirmed bodies.
Let's hate and fight the disease, but let's not hate or blame our bodies. We need our minds working together with our bodies
for the welfare of each. I'll discuss this more fully in detail shortly, when I begin looking more closely at how to cope
with this adversary.  Many diseases are hereditary, others are from lack of proper nourishment and care; still others are contacted through reasons
unknown to us. Part of the problem as I see it with chronic infirmity is the insistence we have an answer as to its origin.
Do not think me cold-hearted, unsympathetic or uncaring dear reader. Believe me, I care. I know what it's like to suffer,
but I am not writing this for sympathy and neither to go into detail with my problem; for that too can be a deterrent to living
with our problem. We must not dwell so much on this infirmity that we become obsessed with knowing all things about it. Yes,
we must know certain facts, but other matters are simply not relevant to our living with this infirmity. This is surely one
of them. Now, hear me patiently. (After all, as I'll also discuss shortly, patience is a must!) If the physicians understand
there is an advantage in determining the source of the problem from a biological and medicinal standpoint that's one thing,
but otherwise, how shall it profit to ascertain the origin of our infirmity? Will it cure our problem? Will it even remotely
ease our burden? If, for example, we decide or discover that the reason we have this illness, is because of a lack of proper
parental care when we were growing up or the reason we suffer is because we ourselves did something foolish earlier in life,
what then shall we do? More than likely all that will happen is that we'll be too hard on our parents, who are human beings
and make mistakes too, or we'll be too hard on ourselves. I knew of a brother in Christ, who when finding out he have given
himself lung cancer because he smoked for many years, could never forgive himself for his carelessness and as he put it, "stupidity."
Jesus taught that if we will not forgive, then the Father above will not forgive us (Mk. 11:26). Surely this would also and
of necessity include forgiving ourselves. Please, I implore you, quit looking for someone to blame. In some cases it will
be necessary for some to change their entire outlook and attitude about their infirmity. We must be willing to say with the
apostle Paul, changing our sentiments to reflect how we feel about the cause of our woes. Paul wrote, "Forgetting those
things which are behind, I reach forward unto those things which are before" (Phil. 3:13). Face this fact and live with
it: you have the disease. It's a reality. It's here to stay more than likely. Let's go from there!
Why Me? Even the righteous Job wondered, as we all do who suffer in this
body, "Why is this happening to me?" Job searched for answers. He even expostulates this thought, "This one
thing, therefore I said it, He destroyeth the perfect and the wicked" (Job 9:22). Job was perplexed. He could not understand
why the righteous should suffer. In other words, "What have I done to deserve this?" Of course later on, after God's
reproof of him, Job then understood that he was wrong to think that righteous people are not also going to suffer in this
life. Job learned that this earth is not heaven! Like the rain that falls from God's sky, infirmity also falls on "the
just and the unjust" (Matt. 5:45). Again, we must insist: What good is it going to do to
sit around wondering why you have this problem, rather than someone else? You have it! We need to point out at this time dear
reader that one's emotional and mental stability or instability, as the case might be, has a great deal to do with the overall
health picture of each of us. We must learn to cast aside these "weights that do so easily beset us" when it comes
to our infirmities (Heb. 12:1-2). All of this "Why Me" business did the man Job no good at all. It won't help us
either. God, in his infinite wisdom, has preserved the matter of Job and his problems, so we might see that we too will suffer,
but God is near to us, even as he was his servant of old. What Approach
Should Be Taken? When a great stone of stumbling which cannot be moved or avoided
is in the path of any child of God, he can make only one of two decisions. He can decide the stone is too great to climb and
be defeated by it, falling flat on his face. On the other hand, he can at least try to climb it in an effort to reach a greater
height. He may not make it all the way to the top, but he can try. The climb may be very hard and difficult. The climb will
take great resolve, courage and determination, but the Christian never climbs alone! God our Father, Jesus our elder brother
and loving Savior along with a host of saints are always near to hold up our hands, much like Aaron and Hur held up the hands
of Moses when he became weak in his great struggle (Exod. 17:12). Once we decide to put forth
every effort to live with this infirmity and not give up, matters do not immediately improve. We must have a course of action
we pursue each and every day. Think of it much like living daily as a Christian. Many children of God are going to be sadly
disappointed in the judgment, because they thought the way to the home of the soul was "attending church" and "dropping
a few dollars in the collection plate" once a week. Not hardly! Being a child of God is a relationship, a divine fellowship,
yes, a way of life! Getting to heaven will not be by accident. It will take much forethought, planning and finally, action
on the part of the individual. So it is with chronic disease or infirmity. We must have a course of action which includes: 1. Handling the stress. In the past thirty-five years (of my forty-three)
I have, like many of you and loved ones you know, been living with infirmity. A great factor in assisting each of us to cope,
but more importantly to keep the problems of the infirmity at a minimum is to understand what the main culprit is. The main
culprit is stress. How we handle this creature will determine how successful we are in living with our infirmity. Stress is
divided into four basic areas: Physical, Thermal, Chemical and worst of all Emotional. Men of "true science" (as
opposed to "oppositions of science" - 1 Tim. 6:20) have told us that, as it relates to the physical, we must not
overwork our bodies and minds. They must get plenty of nourishment and rest. Surely the Lord encourages such care when Paul
writes, "Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you" and "No man yet ever hated
his own flesh, but nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (1 Cor. 6:20; Eli. 5:29). We must take
care of our bodies that we might present them, "as a living sacrifice" (Rom. 12:1-2). Thermal stress simply dictates
that we keep the body from extreme heat or cold. Common sense. Chemical stress means taking time to see what foods help or
hinder. Many things we eat are harmful to us. I'm not a "health food nut" by any means, and I'm far from being a
heavy man, but even skinny people can have cholesterol problems. We must take caution in what we put into "the temple
of the Lord."  The greatest stress is emotional. This form of stress when not kept in check will trigger chemical responses in our bodies
that can be catastrophic! For example, it has been proven that the person who will not control his temper invites ulcers and
worse a coronary!
Then there's the daily routine of work, raising families and for us who are
God's own, "the care of the churches" (2 Cor. 11:28). Surely our spiritual concerns are our greatest responsibilities. Much of this can wear heavily on a person, and what is bad is that all of these stress areas are accumulative. That
is, for example, when a person is bereaved at the death of a loved one (emotional stress) and he doesn't deal with it, he
loses sleep and doesn't eat as he should (physical and chemical stress). The stress begins affecting him from every angle.
If this person has a weak or infirmed body anyway, the consequences are most dangerous. So, we
are compelled to ask: How does the Christian deal with stress? For the child of God, he is in the unique situation of having
the potential of the worst kind of stress, but also the greatest potential of dealing with it. Is there anything more stressful
than trouble in the Lord's church? Now, the world doesn't understand that. They figure the worse form of stress is whether
they make ends meet on the stock market. To the one whose treasures are laid up higher and whose goals are nobler, the Lord's
kingdom and what happens therein is his greatest concern. Church strife and division, yea evil and false doctrine have taken
its toll stress wise, on many of Cod's children lately, but as I mentioned, we have the greatest avenue through which to deal
with the greatest form of trouble. A sister in Christ asked me just recently, "Okay, brother
La Coste, there is stress, just how do we deal with it?" The answer is found with the Lord
who cares and his people who care! We must learn to be transparent and not absorb to heart the insults, nit-picking or lies
of some who are quite short of compassion and understanding. Others are false teachers who misrepresent the truth and us.
Surely such can rend our hearts and discourage our spirits. It can harm us spiritually, emotionally and then physically. You
can not just separate these three aspects of our existence. They are dependent on each other to help the other! How we deal
with problems affects us emotionally and that in turn affects our health. So, dear brother or sister, surround yourself with
people you know who love you! There will always be those who do not, especially if you strive to serve your Lord (2 Tim. 3:12).
Pray for them, yes, but once you have tried to reconcile or make amends, leave it with them and the Lord. Go on and try to
forget. Heal the wounds! At least heal them in your own heart. The Lord will help you. He has promised such and he is one
who knows how to "be touched with the feeling of our infirmities" (Heb. 4:15). 2. Realize that hidden blessings are there: Please turn your attention my fellow infirmed brother
or sister to 2 Corinthians! In chapter twelve is the account of Paul's infirmity. It was also chronic. We know not what it
was. We know not of its origin. Whether Paul had it from birth or that it came later in life we know not. We do know it was
no small problem. Look at Paul's attitude about his sickness! Early on he confesses, "I will glory in mine infirmities"
(v. 5). What? Why would a man glory over an infirmed body? Paul goes on to explain something well known and understood. As
an apostle he was endowed with the ability to receive revelation, and of course with this he also had the "ability to
confirm the word with signs following" (Mk. 16:20). However, Paul was not allowed to heal himself, though he could perform
miracles, and God did not heal him either. Why? Because it simply was not in Paul's best interest for God to do so. "Lest
I should be exalted above measure, through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the
messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure" (v. 7). Pride goeth before a fall and is of
the world (Prov. 16:18; 1 Jn. 2:16). To assist Paul with humility and self-abasement, God allowed his infirmity to remain. God did not put it there, as Satan is identified as the one responsible, but neither did God remove
it. In letting it remain, Paul simply was more profitable in God's service. The Lord told Paul, "My grace is sufficient
for thee" (v. 9). Dear infirmed Christian, his grace is still sufficient. Will we not be content with his answer, believing
he knows what is best for us? Paul would much rather have those spiritual blessings of God with infirmity than not be blessed
of God and have perfect health. For this reason he declares again, "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities . . . for
when I am weak, then am I strong" (v. 10). Paul had a reputation of having a "weak bodily presence" (2 Cor.
10:10), but he was willing to have such, if such assisted his being pleasing to the Lord. Dear
infirmed Christian, look upon your illness in like manner. There may be blessings you may not yet have even discovered, for
you have perhaps been "overlooking an orchid while searching for a rose." Is it possible God's answer to your requests
to restore your health has been no, for it simply may not be in your best interest for him to give you good health. What kind
of servant would you be if you were healthy? Oh, you may be thinking, "I would be this and I would do that. . . "
Maybe, maybe not! Perhaps Paul thought he would not allow the spiritual blessings to go to his head either, but he trusted
God who knew what was best. You see, God of truth, knows what is best. We only think we know what is best. I remember a brother in Christ telling me his blindness was a "blessing in disguise." I could not see any
blessing in not being able to see! Then my brother said something I'll always remember, "I will never sin with my eyes
as many men do." This Christian trusted God. Sure he would have loved to see his wife and children's lovely faces. He
would loved to have captured with the sense of sight the beauty of nature and God's creations. However, he thought often of
what manner of man he might have been, if he could have seen and he counted his infirmity as an asset, not a liability! Count
your blessings, dear infirmed Christian, for they will surprise you what the Lord hath done! 3. Learn the meaning of patience. A great aspect of dealing with a chronic problem is patience.
With stress, the question was asked, "How do you deal with it?" We must also ask concerning patience: "How
do you develop it?" Patience is the "ability to do something else in the meantime." The hardest part relative
to patience is the waiting. With chronic infirmity, so many are simply waiting to be cured. They may never be. As I've mentioned,
it may not be in their best interest to be; it wasn't with Paul. Others, therefore, are simply waiting to pass on and be with
the Lord. What shall we do between now and then? Shall we hasten our death and prove a greater burden on others by constant
complaint and other acts of bitterness? God forbid. Dear fellow infirmed Christian, we are still alive! Where there is life,
there is hope, and yet great opportunity, therefore we can at least: a. Talk to God every
day. Prayer is not an exercise in some kind of psychoanalysis as some must think. Prayer is the avenue through which
the Christian addresses God. No one else has the right! (Prov. 28:9; Jn. 9:34; Eph. 1:3) Our God is a God of compassion and
mercy (Psa. 86:15; Rom. 9:15). These and many other reasons should encourage us to "come boldly unto the throne of grace,
that we might obtain mercy in time of need" (Heb. 4:16). Sit down, take time and talk to your God. He will hear you and
you will be blessed by him. The apostle John wrote, "And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments
and do those things that are pleasing in his sight" (1 Jn. 3:22). What parent is there who will not grant a request of
a child who loves and obeys them? Our Father may not give you the answer you want, as sometimes parents realize that to grant
a certain matter might not be in the interest of their child, but he will give you the answer that is most beneficial to you.
His answer might be no, as it was with Paul. If it is, be content with that and with the fact that he knows what is better
for us, even before we ask of him. b. Let God talk to you everyday. At times
infirmity may keep you away from worshipping with the saints, but such infirmity should not keep one from hearing God's word.
Let the Lord come to you through his word and teach and nurture you. Every Christian should "meditate upon the word of
the Lord, both day and night" (Psa. 1:1-2). Each one should "give attendance to reading" (I Tim. 4:13) that
we might "rightly divide his word" (2 Tim. 2:15) and be blessed so much by it. There
is so much in the word of God to comfort and console. The promises of God, the lives of men and women who endured more than
we ever shall, the end of life and the life which is to follow. These are only a few things that should build our faith and
lift our spirits. c. Think on these things. I mentioned earlier that we needed
to talk about living, really living with this enemy that has afflicted our body. Hate the disease, do not hate yourself, blame
yourself or your body. In these things there is no profit. However, there is great profit in not only surrounding yourself
with people that love you, but with every effort we need to fight a good fight of faith against this adversary, by doing as
Paul encouraged: "Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report; if there be any virtue, and
if there by any praise,  think on these things" (Phil. 4:8). Why dear reader, would God want us to think on these wonderful things if there was
no profit in so doing? As a man "thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Prov. 23:7). Our heart is to be "kept with
all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life" (Prov. 4:23). When we think of pleasant and wonderful things, such
a "merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Prov. 15:13; 17:22). If such matters doeth good, then thinking sadly
on our plight, feeling sorry for ourselves and other such discouraging actions will do us bad. Strive to keep an upbeat and
optimistic disposition. You will continue to be blessed and you will be a great blessing to others. I
would be a liar indeed if I said that I have always trusted God as I should, never felt sorry for myself and am the man one
should look to as a perfect example of how to live with infirmity. Not hardly! I am a weak and sinful man who needs the mercy
and grace of my God like everyone else. However, I have learned to trust him more, pray more, study more and live better all
the way around because of his sufficient grace that is continually nigh. We must learn these things! It takes time to learn.
They will not come over night, but as with all growth, they will come. Conclusion I know not what good may come from what I have written. I hope in some small way, I have helped you, my dear infirmed
fellow brother or sister, to better live with your problem. I hope those who are chronically infirmed will write me. We have
a lot in common. Christians throughout the world need to cling to each other and help each other. With God's love and blessings
and with the encouragement of one another, we will surely be sustained in every way. I pray for
each of you who is infirmed. Please pray for me. None of us knows how long we have left in this life, but if there be many
days or few, let's make the most of them with every fiber of our being. Though aged and infirmed, the Scripture says, even
while he was dying, Jacob yet "worshiped God while leaning on his staff" (Heb. 11:21). Even then he glorified God.
We too must continue to glorify God. We will cause others also to glorify God and this in turn will cause our God to look
upon us with smiling favor and "not be ashamed to be called our God" (Heb. 11:16). One
day, all of us will lay our spiritual armor by and our race will have been run. One day we shall be reunited with the Redeemer
and the redeemed of all ages. When this finally happens, eternity will not remember our infirmity and how we died. Eternity
will only know how we handled life and how we lived.
When You Have to Stay Behind Pat Gates It is painful to be homebound or bedbound and miss many or all worship services
and Bible classes. Many mothers with young children have chronic illnesses who can't meet with the saints and they have the
added concern of not being able to take their children to the worship service and to Bible classes. Or they may have
a husband who is faithful in attendance but they may still be concerned that they are being a bad example to their children,
who may not understand their illness. If this is the case with you, make sure you go to services when you can, if you have
an illness that waxes and wanes; for your children's spiritual sake, as well as your own, do your best with meeting with the
saints. However, there are mothers who desperately want to go and can not, even for their children's sake. If you are a homebound mother
with young children don't despair, there are ways to help your child spiritually and for them to grow up in the nurture and
admonition for the Lord. Your children will see your love for the Lord and for Truth and you can teach them the necessity
and love of meeting with the saints. When you can not meet with the church to worship
God or if you are homebound: - Make sure your children attend
Bible classes and each and every service, if possible. If you don't have a spouse who is faithful in attendance or if you
are single, ask Christians to pick up your children when you are unable to attend. Also, if there is a family the children
are more familiar with, you can ask if they'll watch out for your children during worship service and have them sit with
them. Don't allow embarrassment to keep you from asking for help for your children.
- Always
be positive when the children leave and when they come home. If tears come because you're sad you have to stay home, it's
OK for your children to see them now and then but not every week or they may feel guilt for being able to go and you can't.
While it's good for your children to know you miss not going, too many tears, too often could be harmful. If you feel like
crying every week, wait until they leave, then cry and pray.
- Be happy when the
children come home and ask them if they'd like to share what they learned.
- If
they are old enough, ask them if they announced anyone that was sick or have problems and need help. During the week you can
pray for them with your children and send them cards, along with your younger child coloring or drawing a picture for them.
- Have a daily Bible class with them during the week.
- Pray
with them.
- Be a good example.
- Allow
their friends from Christian homes to come over when possible.
- Invite Christian
families over when possible.
- Ask Christians to include your children in social
activities and ask for rides for them to these events.
- Be ready to answer your
child's questions. Study the lessons they are studying.
- Listen to your services
online if they are recorded live, if not, listen to another congregation's worship service. Embry Hills church has all their
classes and worship services live online: http://www.embryhills.com/ THIS DOES NOT TAKE THE PLACE OF WORSHIPPING WITH THE SAINTS IF YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN ARE ABLE TO GO, however,
if you must stay home or if you live in an area where you can not find a ride for your children if you are homebound, listen
to the services online and make sure you teach your children respect for this time in worship to God. Sing and pray together
as well.
- Make sure your child does their Bible class lessons and be ready to help
them.
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THE STRESS OF PARENT'S ILLNESS ON THEIR CHILDREN WARNING SIGNS OF STRESS Changes in appetite Dropping
grades in school Wildness and irresponsibility Fears and phobias, often relating to school Changes in behavior that are negative and nonproductive Difficulty functioning with people Eating and sleeping problems Low self-esteem
HIDDEN FEARS "BAD" EMOTIONS HOW WE PARENTS CAN HELP Keep in mind the strain chronic illness has on mature, responsible adults and recognize the strain it
could have on a child who lacks understanding. Periodically take the emotional temperature of each child. Maintain open communication. Be open and honest with your child. You can avoid some of the messier details of the illness, especially if they
are small, but over-protection may cause more suffering due to imagined fears and may make your child feel alienated. Educate your family about the illness. Involve your children in the caretaking. Maximize your support system. Get together with family and friends. Ask for help for the children when you need it. Inform the school so teachers will be sympathetic. Keep the family laughing. Try to do family things that the ill parent can be involved in. Don't direct your anger at the child. Remember, the added responsibilities your child has acquired will have positive effects, creating a
more caring, responsible adult.
-From FOR BETTER OR WORSE, A Couple's Guide to Dealing with Chronic Illness, Beverly Kievman
“The single most important factor is the parent’s attitude,” emphasizes
Manuel D. Reich, D.O., director of the Center for Pediatric Psychiatry and Medicine at the University of Pittsburgh Medical
Center. “If the parent is depressed, complains a lot, and acts needy, the child is at risk for having more problems—or
may even develop his own disability, such as headaches, stomachaches, or a breathing difficulty. But if the parent is taking
care of herself and leading as normal a life as possible, the child will be secure in the fact that Mom is doing the best
she can do to accommodate his needs. In fact,” he continues, “many of these children become responsible and well
organized early on. They may have a somewhat less idyllic sense of childhood, but the trade-off is that they may also be more
mature. Many go to work in one of the helping professions, such as medicine or advocacy law.” But to help a child grow from this experience, it’s not necessary for an ill parent
to be strong as a rock, adds Dr. Rosen. “It’s important for kids to know that their parents are human,”
he points out. And a parent who readily admits that she can’t do it all—and reaches out for help from others in
her community—sets a great example for her child.
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