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Walking TreesModern medicine helps us understand a puzzling
miracle
IN THE GOSPEL OF MARK,
there is an intriguing account of how Jesus healed a blind man in a two-step process: 'And He came to Bethsaida. And they brought a blind man to Him and asked Him to touch him. And He took the blind
man by the hand and led him out of the town. And when He had spat on his eyes and had put His hands on him, He asked him if
he saw anything. And he looked up and said, I see men as trees walking. And after that He put his hands again on
his eyes and made him look up. And he was restored and saw all clearly' (Mark 8:22-25). Bible-believing Christians have no problem with this miracle, as the Bible presents the Lord Jesus Christ as the
One who, in the beginning, created the universe and all things in it, including human life, by the power of His Word (Gen
1; John 1:1-3; Col 1:16). The Lord who could do one could certainly do the other. The only question that arises is why the
cure was in two stages rather than just one. At creation, God
did not need millions of years -- the greater the power, the less the need for time. He could have created everything in an
instant, but chose to take six days for a reason (Exo 20:1-8). Likewise, Jesus could have healed this man in one step, as
He did all the other blind people He healed, but on this occasion He chose to take longer. The two steps were only a few moments
apart, not months, so there was no time for natural healing to occur, and the details given show that it was not a case of psychosomatic
or 'hysterical' blindness being relieved. The fact that Jesus took two stages does not mean that He was limited to some non-supernatural
means to do His creative miracle. Perhaps it was so that we would see a proof of inspiration through the medical details given
by the human writer, Mark, but of which he could not possibly have known the significance -- details which were similar to
those experienced by the people mentioned below, who had regained their sight after many years of blindness. Virgil
Virgil
was a 50-year-old man, blind since childhood, whose sight was restored in 1991 after a cataract was removed and a new lens
implanted in one eye. His story is told by Oliver Sacks, Professor of Neurology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine,
New York, in his book An Anthropologist on Mars. When the bandages were removed, Virgil could see, but he had no
idea what he was seeing. Light, movement and color were all mixed up and meaningless; all were just a blur. His brain could
make no sense of the images his optic nerve was transmitting. Although he now had eyesight, he was still mentally
blind -- a condition of perceptual incapacity known medically as agnosia. Virgil could read the third line on a standard Snellan eye chart, equivalent to a visual acuity of about 20/100 (with
a best of 20/80). However, he could not distinguish words, even though he could read Braille fluently, as well as raised or
inscribed letters; he could easily read the inscribed letters on tombstones by touch. A cat was particularly puzzling, as
he could see parts clearly -- a paw, the nose, the tail -- but the cat as a whole was only a blur, as were human faces. A
few days after his operation, Virgil said that 'trees didn't look like anything on earth', but a month later he finally put
a tree together and realized that the trunk and leaves formed a complete unit. Clinical Aspects People who have
formerly been used to a world they accessed only by touch, hearing, taste, and smell tend to be baffled by 'appearance' which,
being optical, has no correlation in the other senses. People who have been totally blind from birth (congenital blindness)
or early childhood have lived in a world of time alone, not time and space. Thus the step at the end of a porch is something
which occurs for a blind person a short time after he leaves the doorway, rather than something he is aware of in
space. Sacks quotes the autobiography (Touching the Rock) of John Hull, a blind man, who says that, for the blind,
people are there only when they speak; they come and they go out of nothing. Sighted babies learn to master all this as time goes by, an achievement, it should be noted, which is beyond the
capacity of even our largest super-computers. People who become blind later in life have built up a 'visual memory' of the
way things look and how they fit together in space. However, for the newly sighted, it is a huge learning task involving a
radical change in both neurological and psychological functioning, a change in 'the perceptual habits and strategies of a
lifetime' -- in short, in identity. Sacks, says that these sorts
of difficulties 'are almost universal among the early blinded restored to sight', and he mentions a patient, S.B., who could
not recognize individual faces a year after his eye operation, despite his then having perfectly normal elementary vision. From such case histories, it appears that when sight is suddenly restored, there
is the need for the development of some new pathways in the visual cortex of the brain. Thus the story of the Bethsaida blind
man who saw 'people as trees walking' is not a poetic account; it is a clinical description. Like Virgil, this blind man could
see, but he had the additional complication of agnosia -- he could not make sense of what he was seeing. Jesus, having given
his eyes sight, then heals his agnosia -- in one miraculous instant his brain was taught what the rest of us have learned
from childhood. So, why did Jesus do it this way for this man,
as He didn't have to, and apparently did not do so for any of the other blind people He healed? We don't know for sure, but perhaps it is because, in healing the Bethsaida man in these two stages, He has given
a built-in stamp of authority to the authenticity of the account, one that is discernable only to modern-day readers. There
is no way that an apocryphal or fabricated tale could have had these details; surgical correction of congenital blindness
was not being done them, so the author could not have known about the problem of agnosia in the newly sighted. It is thus irrefutable evidence that a miracle did occur at Bethsaida. This miracle
of healing would have involved restoring or creating eye structures, as well as creating new nerve pathways and connections
in the brain. It was thus of the same order of miracle-working power as the making of Adam from the dust of the earth or Eve
from Adam's rib, in a similarly short time (Gen 2:7; 21-22).
Russell
Grig, staff member of Answers in Genesis. Brisbane, Australia. Via Creation ex nilo. Vol 21. No 4. Sept-Nov 1999.
http://www.discoveret.org/lcoc/
 Your realization that your
life will never again be the same has arrived. You are standing at the crossroad of acceptance and adaptation or frustration
and despair. Which road will you choose?
*Diane's
Choice: "I
want to be a part of the world around me." Diane introduced herself last month. In her introduction there were several comments she made that
I wanted to respond to, so I've included her email on this page (bold print, inside the frames) and my response follows. -Pat
I
found this site through a lot of prayer, and am thrilled to introduce myself to all of the wonderful people who are a part
of this site.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you
will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one
who knocks, the door will be opened. Matt. 7:7-8 It’s inspiring and comforting
to know that while Diane was praying for understanding and a way to serve, I was praying for any who needed to find Our
Hope to do so and for me to have wisdom in the pages that are published. It’s not a matter of thinking Our Hope is just so fabulous, rather it’s
knowing there is someone out there who needs to know they are not alone and that others, do indeed, understand what they are
going through. Our Hope is also a means of expressing our needs and desires to each other and I petition
all who desire to contribute comments, questions, articles, poems etc. to please do so.
Since all of you here have a Chronic Illness or Illnesses
yourself, and often deal with pain as I do on a daily basis, I felt the need to share my story while learning more about all
of you. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in the things I go through with my health each day, even though
I hate to think that some of you feel as I do.
Therefore if
there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill
my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Philippians 2:1-2 What is interesting is that while there are so many diseases (the World Health Organization has diagnostic codes for
14,199 diseases) many common ones have very similar symptoms so we can identify with each other even though we may have different
illnesses. And if our illness is partially or completely disabling we understand the emotional and spiritual problems that
may also occur i.e. loneliness, boredom, feelings of uselessness, frustration, etc. Our Hope was born out of my own overt
feelings of being alone in the world of “normals.” Come to find out, there’s an awful lot of we “abnormals”
J out there as well!
My life of pain started in July of 2003, after a car accident that seemed to be one of no injuries.
NOT!!! Within a week, I realized that my "non-injury" wreck was a totally false concept. My life has not been
the same since. I have had 2 cervical disk surgeries with 2 levels replaced the first time, and within a year and a half,
a second surgery to redo the 2 bones that had not fused after the first surgery and to repair a 3rd level that had blown.
Since my accident and surgeries to follow, pain has been my constant companion. The wreck not only messed up my
cervical region but the thoracic and lumbar regions. I have also developed a spinal disease called "Arachnoiditis",
which is a result of the wreck, many epidurals, and/or a myleogram done prior to my second cervical surgery. "Arachnoiditis",
one of the most painful spinal diseases known, gradually worsens as time goes on and unless a cure can be found, will cause
paralysis at some point in time. There is no cure, at present, for this awful disease.
“Pain
has been my constant companion.” This is exactly what chronic illness is all about – having companions (not friends)
that we have to learn to live with on a daily basis (ie. pain, weakness, numbness, gastro problems, problems with senses,
eye problems, sinus, etc. etc.). Some companions we can put on the back burner, so to speak, and function even though we are
continually reminded of their presence. Other companions have a habit of fluctuating in intensity to where we have to just
accept their control and have patience until we are able to, once again, take control of them. Either way, eventually we learn
how to think, act, and speak in a manner where our companion doesn’t take over our spirit. I have learned it’s best to think of my companions as neutral. They are neither
the enemy nor my friend. If I see them as an enemy I may allow them to conquer my spirit when I haven’t the physical
strength to fight them. If I view them as my friends I may cling to them and find all kinds of excuses not to function in
a world that was not created to accommodate sickness and sorrow.
Not only do I have Cervical, Thoracic, and Lumbar disk problems and pain, and Arachnoiditis, but
have also been diagnosed with various autoimmune and other diseases, such as, Sjogren's Syndrome, Raynaud's Syndrome, POTS
(Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), Interstitial Cystitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia,
along with a few more that I won't name and bore you with! The worst result of my accident happened 5 years later in
the form of a stroke that I suffered in June of 2008. The stroke was caused from a blood clot that occurred after my
head struck the side bar of my car during the accident, and eventually worked its way into an area of my brain to cause my
stroke. After my stroke, I was unable to walk without assistance, talk to others with any memory or sense of what I
was saying, and had severe problems with muscular pain and muscle control. Since that time, I have continued to rehabilitate
to the point that I am able to walk short distances without the use of my wheelchair or cane, gain most of my lost (misplaced??)
memory and sense of how things go together and relate to one another in day to day life, got my personality and life back
to a semblance of what I consider to be normal, and have started to become a small measure of the "me" that I was
before my stroke. There are some things about me and my life that will never be the same, but those, I am slowly learning
to adapt to and live with.
Some people can go through life with minor physical difficulties. My 92 year old mother
never had any major illness until her late 80’s when she had angioplasty and developed Parkinson’s. If she
didn’t have Parkinson’s she’d be in pretty good shape. In Diane’s case, as with many, an accident or illness develops and there seems to be
no stopping point; the illnesses begin to stack up to the point where they shake their head and think, “What’s
next?” Their body begins a downward spiral that may or may not level out at some point. How do these people cope when
changes are constantly occurring? What they do is what Diane said, “I am slowly learning to adapt and live with”
changes. A new change becomes less shocking as it was at first and there is an attitude of, “I learned to live with
my life in the past, I can learn it again.” In fact, adaptation also becomes a constant companion, howbeit I would call
it a friendly companion. Adaptation becomes one of our best friends because it saves us from despair.
I have now
reached the point in time, where I want, and also need, to start being more a part of the world around me. After a stroke,
it seems as if the world has gone on without you and you don't know your place in it anymore. Most of my days are spent
at home with my two dogs, puttering around the house as much as I feel like puttering, and spending time on my computer while
sitting in my recliner. I am not able to do a lot of physical work and have to rest a lot each day. Sometimes, I am physically
unable to go places or do things, but I try to visit with others, take meals to some elderly ladies and visit with them, and
do other small things, as I feel like it.
This being said, I am still at home by myself, most of the time. I do get
very, very lonely but try to keep busy so that my mind will be occupied and I won't think about being lonely. Up until
the last 4 to 6 months, the fact that my most of my earthly friends, as well as my church family, seem to have forgotten me,
did not bother me. But, I am bothered by being "seemingly" forgotten, now.
That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in
love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both
of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Col. 2:2-3 Without sounding too negative it is often a fact that the chronically
ill (especially those that are homebound or bedbound) are either forgotten or seemingly forgotten. The "out of sight,
out of mind" scenario comes into play. While we may forget them, believe me, they don't forget us. They long for someone
to remember them, to show they still care. They may be lonely, even to the point that they feel they are alone in this world.
Please, I beg you, if you know an individual,
especially a brother or sister in Christ, please let them know they aren't forgotten; don't just do it once, but often. Loneliness
can be even morn painful than the illness itself. Let them know you miss them. Tell them they are in your prayers. If they
feel like visits, do so. If they can get out of the house at times, invite them to your house or out to eat, or whatever they
are capable of doing, but be sure to ask them what their abilities are and don't take for granted any outing will do.
As a Christian, I feel the need to be an example to others and to be a part of the
world outside the walls of my home, but I am struggling to fulfill that need and find the "something" that I can
do. I taught elementary school for 26 years and Bible classes for much longer than that, but can do none of this now.
I feel so useless to others and don't know what to do or where I fit into this world any more. Finding a group like this,
to share with and learn from, has given me renewed hope. Hope that I might find some of the answers to being useful
again and answers to the loneliness I feel so often.
He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained
two more talents besides them.’ His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful
over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord. Matt. 25:22-23 A
homebound (or mostly homebound) or bedbround Christian wants and needs to feel useful in the kingdom of God (it's great
that Diane visits the elderly, especially when she could easily excuse herself from doing so). Diane has chosen the right
direction in her desire to serve God by serving others. She is a good example to all of us to want to use what talents we
have (many or few) and use whatever opportunities that may arise, to use our talents for the glory of God. Let's all pray
to be useful. Diane, we appreciate your letter and your good example to all of us.
The Heart
of a Child Whether
you see your doctors as less than human or more than human, the fact is, they are human and their hearts can be touched.
Look at this wonderful example of how a little boy touched a doctor's heart. This is a section copied from Lilly's blog on
the Compassion Revolution page. Lilly's mom is writing. We had a strange and amazing thing happen at the first
hospital. Not related to Lilly but to our son. One of the doctors who worked on Lilly became extremely touched when he saw
my husband bring our son and older daughter into the room. He asked me hold old my son was and said he had one the same age.
He complimented my son’s manners. I noticed he was watching him when he interacted with me and Lilly a little. Then
he came into the room and handed my husband a big wad of cash. He said something like "I was going to go out and do something
I shouldn't after work today. But instead I'm going home to my son. When you came in with the baby it didn't really hit me
until your son came in. Please take the money." Wow. God really can punctuate the bad with beautiful things!
Broken Wings Gary Henry
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs,
in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).
ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT KINDS OF WEAKNESS TO ENDURE IS PHYSICAL
DISABILITY. Even for the person of extraordinary spiritual strength, it is hard to keep a positive focus on God when
the body is not able to function normally or is racked with pain. We understand, at least in theory, that spiritual concerns
are more important than physical ones, but the fact is, our bodies are the instruments through which our spirits must do most
of their work. When the instrument is broken, it isn’t easy to maintain joy and give thanks. What, then, should be our
attitude toward physical impairments or diseases, especially those of a serious nature?
WE SHOULD “GO TO THE BALCONY” AND LOOK AT EACH DAY FROM A LARGER PERSPECTIVE. If today
is difficult, for whatever reason, the thing we must always do is see today against the backdrop of eternity. Today’s
truth may be hard to bear, but it’s never the whole truth.
WE
SHOULD GIVE THANKS, IF NOT FOR THE PAIN, AT LEAST FOR THE PROGRESS IT PRODUCES IN OUR CHARACTER. There is no more
challenging text in the New Testament than James 1:2,3, which says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into
various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” The testing is not pleasant, and none of
us should be so naive as to suggest that the physical sufferer should just smile and be happy. Yet if suffering bathes our
hearts in humility and reminds us to lean on God, it has done us a significant favor. “Therefore I take pleasure in
infirmities,” Paul could say, “. . . for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
WE SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT OUR TROUBLES ARE NOT UNIQUE. Paul also wrote, “No temptation has
overtaken you except such as is common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13). We may not personally know anyone who has had
to endure what we’re enduring, but what about the millions who’ve lived since the world began? Whatever our affliction,
others HAVE coped with it — and some have coped with worse. Truth to tell, every person we’ve ever met is hurting
in some way. Some become bitter, while others become better.
“I
thank God for my handicaps; for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God” (Helen Keller).
The Joy of Being Accepted by the Congregation Pat Gates To be believed and accepted,
without question and without misjudgment brings peace and strength to one who is chronically ill, especially to those, like
me, who don't look ill and whose illness often fluctuates in intensity. From the beginning of publishing
Our Hope, the emotional suffering I've most often heard from the chronically ill is the
pain that comes from being misjudged by family members and Christians about whether or not they are as sick as they say
they are. To not be trusted by those they love is more painful than the disease itself. To be believed and supported
brings peace, even to the point of being able to function a little better: A merry heart does good, like medicine, But
a broken spirit dries the bones, Proverbs 17:22. Along
with being accepted just the way we are, without question, the chronically ill also want to be treated normal and not
as someone whose life consist solely of illness. We want to be a part of other's lives, even if we are confined to home most
of the time. To find a congregation of the Lord's people who, not only accepts the chronically
ill without misjudgment, as well as being treated as an important part of the local church even when they miss meeting
with the saints more than they attend, is a great blessing indeed. I have found such a group of brothers and sisters who
meet at the Rockdale church of Christ in Conyers, Georgia. I don't believe they realize the impact they have had on
my spirit as their love comes so naturally. I miss worship and Bible class more than I attend.
Rarely do I make it on Wednesday night and I can't remember when I was able to attend both meetings on Sunday. Even
with missing so often, the Christians there react exactly how they are should to one who is chronically ill: (1) They remain friendly and don't waver. You don't get that hit and miss experience where they may be friendly
at first and then the friendliness diminishes as time goes on or when they find out you are missing more than you are there.
(2) They have a genunine interest in why I'm not there with them; not to judge how spiritually
weak I am or to judge me as unfaithful, but to know how I'm feeling and what my needs are. Or they just tell me
they're glad to see me and leave it at that. (3) I feel normal with them. This is something
I can't explain or describe. It is something those of you who are chronically ill understand. While they do sympathize
with me, I feel they see me more than illness. I believe the genunine, natural love in this group of Christians is what
I'm experiencing and this is why our relationship feels so normal. I thank God for my brothers
and sisters in Conyers and to all those in various places who give their love so freely. From those of us who live with ongoing
illness, we appreciate you more than we can say. While there are those who may use their illness
as an excuse to not meet with the saints when, in reality, they can, most Christians with chronic illness hate to miss out
on worship service and bible classes and when they miss it's because they really can't make it. There are tears shed when
they are home alone, that no one will see and prayers for strength that no one will hear, except for God, who knows and understands
when others may not. ******************** Recently,
when I came across the following article, I thought it would be good to place on this page. Even though it isn't written,
as far as I know, with chronic illness in mind, it is relevant to this topic. While there are many Christians who strengthen
the ill and don't question their motives, there are some, as Job's friends, who will believe the infirmed need to repent of
their spiritual weakness and try harder and all will be will. Many years ago I experienced this from a brother and sister
in Christ and it was one of the most disheartening experiences I've had since becoming ill. Since then I've heard similar
stories from others, especially those with illnesses that are unseen with the eye and illnesses that others don't understand
very well.
Evil Suspicions
Joe R. Price Since love “thinks no evil”
(keeps no accounts of evil, NKJV footnote), “rejoices in the truth” and “believes all things”, we
rightly conclude the converse is true of hatred (1 Cor 13:5-7). Hate thinks evil of others (keeping an account of wrongs suffered),
rejoices in the error of others and refuses to believe good things about others. It is no wonder that “he who does not
love his brother abides in death” and, “whoever hates his brother is a murderer” (1 Jno 3:14-15). Love refuses
to hold and express evil suspicions toward others. Evil suspicions (evil surmisings, KJV) are counted among
the sins of the proud, possessed by those obsessed with disputes and arguments (1 Tim 6:3-4). It is thinking the worst of
others (often, deflecting attention away from one’s own sins). God will not tolerate such arrogant treatment of others,
and neither should we. Therefore, the Holy Spirit instructs Christians to “withdraw yourself” from such people
(1 Tim 6:5). We can get
caught up in speculating about others. This typically leads to gossip and a variety of additional sins. Such speculation and
ruinous reasoning is forbidden by the word of God. Let us carefully and correctly identify, put away and avoid the sin of
evil suspicion. 1)
Evil suspicions draw conclusions on the basis of conjecture and speculation. Whereas love rejoices in the truth
and thinks the best of others, the sin of evil suspicions relies on assumptions and the reckless handling of facts. Because
it relies on supposition and imagination to draw its conclusions, evil suspicion produces distrust and disputes. Once a person
whose heart is full of evil surmising has made up his mind, it becomes very hard for him to reform and renounce his deeply
held suspicion. Why? The reason is because pride (a companion of evil surmising) will not allow it (Prov 16:18). What a dreadfully
ugly sin! 2)
Evil suspicions spread contention and division where unity and peace should prevail. Christians are to “seek
peace and pursue it” (1 Pet 3:11). The gospel teaches us to “pursue the things which make for peace and the things
by which one may edify another”, a principle that is not being practiced by one given to evil suspicions (Rom 14:19).
Having and acting upon an evil suspicion toward a fellow Christian spreads an atmosphere of mistrust, doubt and reservation,
obscuring the unity we share in Christ (Eph 4:1-3). 3) Evil suspicions stifle encouragement. Christians should “consider
one another in order to stir up love and good works”, but evil suspicion prevents this work of encouragement (Heb 10:24).
It prevents productive communication instead of enhancing it. Barnabas showed himself to be the son of encouragement by not
being suspicious toward Saul and his genuine conversion. He stepped forward and stood with his faithful brother in the Lord
(Acts 4:36; 9:26-27). His example is one we all should follow. 4) Evil suspicions wound and ruin rather than soothe and heal.
The person consumed with evil suspicions against another is not a peacemaker (Matt 5:9). Strife and turmoil is the fruit he
bears. 5) Put
away evil suspicions. Cultivate love by always acting in the best interests of others – regardless of
their words and deeds. (This is the true meaning and expression of love, Rom 5:8; 1 Jno 4:10-11.) Judge righteously, not by
appearance (Jno 7:24). Finally, reject baseless suspicions and charges against brethren (cf. 1 Tim 5:19-20). www.bibleanswer.com
Living with Bipolar Disorder . Here
is information about living with bipolar disorder or having a loved one who does: I just read an article that said 1
in 5 families deal with it. Scary, if it is true. I know when I reveal that I deal with it, someone usually says,
"My ........" deals with it too. It comes with the question about why I am not doing as well as "...."
does. And, especially the older ones, seem to expect me to "snap out of it" and "quit complaining." I'm
tired of explaining to "Disbelief" why I haven't been coming to worship services so now I say I wasn't feeling
well and I don't like to talk about it, and let it go at that. Judge what they will. I and my family know my motives.
That sounds bitter, doesn't it? I need to get my attitude in hand and be more compassionate to those who
just can't understand no matter how patiently I try to explain it. I am not the only one who suffers. They have
problems, too, and I need to remember that. They just can't understand mine! Thanks for believing me. -anonymous ,
Response from Pat: Thank you for writing. I do believe you. When you said you quit talking about
why you miss worship and say others must judge what they will, you've actually come to the defensive decision that many of
us have to make with our illnesses. I'm so thankful to be a part of a congregation that is supportive to me but it hasn't
always been that way with others and the sting of disbelief hurts terribly to the point where we have to come to the conclusion
that (1) I know I am ill and I can't help it and I'm doing the best I can (2) My family understands (if that's the case..not
always the case with some) and most importantly (3) God knows. After that we have to develop an attitude of "judge what
they will" EXCEPT to be very careful not to allow it to be said with bitterness, but as a conclusion we can't please
people with answers that do not want to hear them. ,
I do like the fact you recognize you are not the only one
suffering, as others have their problems as well. It would be good for you to act on that, as it would be good for all of
to. Do for others no matter if they believe you or not. Love in thought, word, and deed is good for us and good for the receivers.
Most of all, it is pleasing to God. In your case, it will help displace the temptation of bitterness and may even draw you
closer to some of the disbelievers. .
I get notes every now and then from different ones who want me to write about bipolar disorder. I don't know who
these writers are (and I don't know who wrote this note) but they either want to try and understand someone they know who
has it or they are sufferers of this terrible disease and they want support. I do understand negative emotion and chronic
illness but I am not bipolar nor do I have any family members who are so I'm not qualified to write about this. Once again,
I'm asking anyone who lives with this to help educate the rest of us on what living with bipolar is like, coping skills, social
problems, and anything you may find helpful. And if any of you have arguments that you would like to list of why
your disease is indeed real and deserves understanding, please write that as well. You may be sick and tired of
having to prove yourself, but there are sincere people out there who do want to understand but may be afraid to ask, perhaps
they feel their questions would be taken the wrong way. .
Thank you again for writing. I appreciate you taking the time. We
would love to hear from you again!
to a Friend with Cancer
Suggestions found in various places on
internet Avoid comparisons,
such as, "My cousin had your type of cancer and she can now go mountain climbiing and etc. etc." Everyone is different
in regards to treatment and outcome. (note from Pat: I can understand this as all of us with chronic illness have heard these
kind of comments, however, I have had friends who wanted to hear survival stories in order to give them hope. Perhaps we can
begin by saying, "I know everyone with cancer responds differently to treatment but I do have a friend who responded
well, and I'm praying it will be the same for you.") Don't just ask, do. Instead of saying, "If there's anything I can do, let me know," go
ahead and do some normal, everyday chores that your friend won't be able to do during treatment. Do things that won't disturb
her, nor be pushy. You can buy some groceries or make food for her and her family (if she is married, perhaps her husband
can tell you foods that may be good for her lack of appetite or the metallic taste that sometimes occurs with treatment). Bring
the food when someone else is there to answer the door or call and say you will set it on the porch at such and such
a time and then leave. Yard: If your friend always kept
her flower beds nice and neat and she can't keep up with the, weeding and watering is a nice gesture that won't
disturb her rest. Children: Remember her children's needs
and help with taking them to school, sports or get-togethers with other Christians. Also there may be times when she needs
a good rest and taking care of the children for a little while would help provide the much needed rest. Help decorate the house for the holidays. Help with laundry and cleaning the house but in all these things remember your friend is sick and
may not feel like someone in the house. Make sure helping inside the house is OK with the one who is ill. Perhaps you can
schedule a time when they are out of the house during their treatment. Say
something. Little things said are meaningful. "I'm thinking about you." "I'm praying for you."
Cards and email are always appreciated. It doesn't
matter if the card is from Dollar Store cards or Hallmark, the two are equal in appreciation. It is the warmth of being remembered
that counts. Keep encouragement going. When the days and
weeks and, perhaps, months, drag on keep the thoughts, prayers, physical help, and cards coming. Go with her to the doctor. Offer to pick her up, take notes during the appointment
or simply hold her purse, and then drive her home. Bring food that freezes
well in disposable containers. Label the containers with the contents as well as reheating instructions. Offer to be the friend who will let others know what is happening with her health.
You could set up a phone tree or an e-mail group, so she doesn't have to constantly be communicating. Take
her car out, fill it with fuel and have it washed. Schedule a weekly "pick-up or drop-off" run for things like dry
cleaning, movie rentals and prescriptions. Provide her with
a housecleaner for a day. Pay the housecleaner and let your friend know you have taken
care of everything. In her mailbox, leave an envelope of gift certificates or coupons to places that deliver food Pick up a grocery bag of "staples" (bread, juice, cereal, milk,
toilet paper, paper towels, etc.) and drop them off at her door. Call (or e-mail, if the items aren't perishable) to let her
know they are there.
It Is What It Is by T. Doy Moyer
A friend of mine, wise and astute beyond his years (so he tells
me), has shared his newly discovered motto with me: "It is what it is." Ok, so I have thought that a few times before,
but it is one of those simple statements that forces us back to reality at times when we may feel overcome by our circumstances
and disappointments of life. When things aren't exactly as you would desire them to be, you can become focused on reality
by telling yourself, "It is what it is." Circumstances are what they are. There are some things we can change,
and some things we can't (we are getting more profound as we go). Our problem is that we often expend more worry and energy
on the things we can't change; and this, in turn, can become a stumbling block to our spiritual growth and joy. "And
who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:27). Paul's own circumstances were often less than ideal, and beyond his control, yet his
attitude remained stable: "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am. I know how to get along with humble
means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled
and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). If I may venture a loose paraphrase: It is what it is, I have learned to deal with
"it" through God's help. "Moses My servant is dead." So spoke the Lord to Joshua in (Joshua 1:2). Joshua knew this already; they had been mourning for days. But sometimes we need a
reminder of the simple truth about reality. Essentially, God was telling Joshua, "Moses is gone, and you can't change
that now or have him back. Now it's time to get up and go take the land of promise." In other words, "it is what
it is, and you have to work with "it" the way it is."
The only option is not to accept reality. People
do sometimes go through phases of "denial." They do not feel mentally able to accept what "is." It hurts
too much perhaps. But if we will ever "arise and cross over this Jordan" in our lives, we must learn to accept the
facts and circumstances of life as they are. It takes courage. It takes resolve. But, it must be done. "Be anxious for
nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace
of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6, 7). God gives us the tools to be able to deal with all of our circumstances, including
the painful ones. He wants us to cast our cares on Him, pray about them, and then let Him grant us peace in our hearts. The solution to problems
is not denial. We should learn to admit reality, then work with it as it is. When there are matters we can change for the
better, let's work to change them. When the circumstances don't meet our concept of ideal, and we can't change them, let's
learn to accept them and resolve to move forward with the strength God supplies. In all matters, we must "seek first
the kingdom of God and His righteousness" (Matthew 6: 33). Because, as another one of my favorite "profound" questions reminds us,
a hundred years from now, what will "it" matter? We worry about things that will pass into oblivion, and sometimes
ignore those matters that have eternal consequences. A hundred years from now, it won't matter that my car has a few scratches
on it, or my water heater went out. What will matter is whether or not I have devoted myself to God and His Will. It is what
it is. http://lavistachurchofchrist.org
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