|
Somebody said a mother
can stop worrying after her child gets married. That Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law
to a mother's heartstrings.
* n * * My Mother's Garden
My Mother
kept a garden,
A garden of the heart,
She planted all the good things
That gave my life its start.
She turned me to the sunshine
And encouraged me to dream,
Fostering and nurturing
The seeds of self-esteem.
And when the winds and rain came,
She protected me enough-
But not too much because she knew
I'd
need to stand up strong and tough.
Her constant good example
Always taught me right from wrong-
Markers
for my pathway
That will last a lifetime long.
I am my Mother's garden,
I am her legacy-
And
I hope today she feels the love
Reflected back from me.
~ author unknown ~
 A Homemaker’s Take On I Cor. 13
If I live in a house of spotless beauty with
everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper... not a homemaker.
If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but
have not love, my children learn cleanliness... not godliness.
Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny
fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.
Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.
Love is present through
the trials.
Love reprimands, reproves,
and is responsive.
Love
crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.
Love is the key that opens
salvation's message to a child's heart.
Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God's perfection of my child.
As a mother, there is much
I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.
…..Author Unknown Whit Sasser's "Exhortations & Stuff"
The Strength
Of A Man
The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders. It's in the
width of his arms that encircle you.
The strength of a man isn't
in the deep tone of his voice. It's in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't
how many buddies he has. It's how good a buddy he is with his children.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work. It's in how respected he is
at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits. It's in how tender he touches.
The
strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest. It's in his heart, that lies within his chest.
The strength of a man isn't how many women he's loved. It's in being true to one
woman.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It's
in the burdens he can carry.
author unknown
Taken from Whit Sasser's
“Exhortations & Stuff”
A
Mother's Love
A
Mother's love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing
can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking
. . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all
the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand
by Helen Steiner Rice
What About Getting a Divorce
Because of Abuse? By Cindy Granke
Actually this request includes two separate but often
related topics - abuse and divorce. Both topics deserve serious consideration. Wisdom
demands that we understand what God has said with regard to putting away a spouse -- divorcing, in today’s terminology. There are many other Christians who are more learned than I who have extensive studies on their websites
about divorce. For our purposes let us divide this study into three parts. 1) A
brief look at the duration of marriage. 2) Living with abuse. 3) Conclusion regarding
divorce because of an abusive spouse. Part
1: Duration of Marriage: The Scriptures are very straight-forward and uncomplicated about marriage. Most
religious-minded people recognize that God instituted marriage (Gen. 2:20-25). However many are unwilling to accept that God
intends marriage to last until the death of either partner. For a woman which hath
an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth;
but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth,
she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so
that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man (Rom. 7:2-3). Jesus said that if a man
shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, [he]committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit
adultery (Mt. 19:9). Mark's account of the same discussion
further states, And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married
to another, she committeth adultery (Mk. 10:12).
The Greek word which is translated
"fornication" includes any sexual infidelity. It goes without saying that it
is only the innocent partner who may put away the guilty spouse for these sins. But in many marriages
today, both partners become involved in sexual immorality. Enter "Situation Ethics." One mate decides, I will divorce you for your fornication, disregarding the fact that she has also become involved in immorality.
It’s easy to blame the spouse who sinned, claiming, It was because of your infidelity that I have become involved with another person. In the Garden
of Eden, it didn’t matter which one sinned first. They both were cast out of the garden and away
from the tree of Life. God
hates putting away (Malachi 2:15-16). It was never His intention for marriage to be taken lightly, and Jesus sternly
warned against putting it asunder (Mt. 19:6). Legal Separation, as provided in modern laws, did not exist in Jesus' day, so
the Bible does not distinguish between it and divorce. Even in a marriage where one partner has been unfaithful, it
is God's will that the wife (or husband) forgive her partner (Mt. 6:14-15). It takes real commitment to work through such
difficulty and to forgive each other for the pain caused. This presupposes that the guilty partner is penitent (Lk. 17:3-4).
Unfortunately, in many cases, the guilty one exhibits no remorse whatsoever. He may leave his wife, and through no fault of
her own, she may find herself put away, with children to raise alone and without her husband’s help in providing for
their family. 
Part 2: Living With An
Abusive Spouse God likens the marriage relationship to that of the church to Christ
(Eph. 5:22-29; Col. 3:18-19). Let's assume that the reader who requested
this topic is a woman, nevertheless realizing that in our society an abusive spouse could be a strident woman. Practicing
the following behaviors with one another would go a long way toward preventing abuse from a spouse. Wives - Submit yourselves unto
your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church: and He is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
- Respect
your husband (Eph. 5:33)
- Do not be contentious and argumentative (Prov.19:13)
- Be prudent - not spending beyond the family’s means (Prov.19:14)
- Do not dress or behave
in a way that brings shame on yourself or your family (Prov. 12:4; 1 Pet. 3:1-6)
- Proverbs 31:10-30 continues these thoughts. Live so your husband can safely trust you.
Husbands - Love your wife, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it
- Men ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
- He that loves his wife loves
himself.
- No man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as
the Lord the church.
- Love your wife, and do not bitter toward her.
- Dwell with her with understanding, giving her honor, as to the weaker vessel so that your prayers will not be hindered.
(1 Peter 3:7)
These are just a part of God’s pattern for husbands and wives.
I realize that a person cannot force a spouse (man or woman) to behave in a loving or protective way. Sadly,
some people are not easy to live with. They are demanding, selfish and unfair. Yet, the Bible tells a wife to
submit to her husband the same as we would submit to Christ. As difficult as this can be in some situations, submission
does not depend on how the husband treats her. It does depend on whether he
asks her to do something sinful. In that situation the wife’s obedience to Christ must override her obedience
to her husband (Acts 5:29). I do want to write more to and about wives
and their relationship with their husbands in a future issue of Our Hope.
However for those of you who are suffering in an abusive marriage, may I suggest an excellent and informative
series of articles that Joanne Beckley wrote about abuse? You may read those here. Our Hope archives from 2007/2008. When the link opens, scan down the page until
you come to Abuse and Suffering Wives.
Part 3: Disolving a Marriage Because of an Abusive Spouse Unfortunately physical abuse has become an epidemic in marriages
in America today. I have seen it first hand in my own extended family. It breaks
the hearts of those it affects. Parents sometimes get involved, especially when their daughters or grandchildren
are being harmed. Sometimes we can tolerate more mistreatment of ourselves than we can tolerate seeing
battered and bruised children and grandchildren. In responding to our reader who requested a discussion about getting a divorce because
of an abusive spouse, may I say this -- God’s word only give two reasons
for dissolving a marriage. - The death of the husband or wife.
- The sexual
infidelity of the husband or wife. (Note that I said “or” not “both of”
the spouses).
Remaining in the home with a mate who has a viscious
temper and batters his wife (or husband) and/or their children would be very dangerous and cruel to all. Experience
teaches that spouse- and child-abusers tend to be repeat offenders, and remaining
in a situation that puts one's life and limb at risk, or may tempt one to retaliate, certainly is contrary to human
wisdom. On the other hand, I am not aware of any passage that specifically addresses the situation of the victim
of abuse by another family member. The best advice I can give is that Inspiration cautions the disciple against leaving
her mate, and commands one who does depart either to be reconciled to her husband, or to remain single (1 Cor. 7:10-11).
It seems to me the wisest course is caution, seasoned with a healthy measure of prudence. I welcome others to share their
thoughts and advice on this topic, and only ask that they include, "Thus saith the Lord." cg
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Nabal &
Abigail A Biblical Case Study (1 Samuel 25) By Cindy Granke
Do you suppose Abigail had any idea what Nabal
was really like, before she married him? Sometimes the man courting his bride-to-be is quite different from the husband of
a few months or years later. I can already hear some reader saying, "Ain't that the truth!" But marriage doesn't
come with a warranty: “Happiness guaranteed, or your vows cheerfully refunded." So your husband turned out to be
a hateful oaf. (Now you know why Mamma warned you not to marry him.) But what do you do, now?
Try to picture what Abigail's life must have been like with Nabal, who was "churlish and evil in his doings." Churlish means cruel, grievous and hard-hearted (Strongs #7186). He was prone to drunkenness,
selfish, stingy, and sadly lacking even in common courtesy and hospitality. Any one of these traits would
be enough to make life very unpleasant for his wife. Add them all together and the marriage sounds like
an exercise in misery. How did Abigail ever put up with him? Nabal
was a prosperous man with great herds and possessions, who dwelt in Maon, in the southern highlands of Judah. After God had rejected Saul for his disobedience,
and had anointed David to succeed him as king over Israel (1 Sam. 16:1, 13), Saul pursued David, trying to kill him. When David sought refuge
in the wilderness of Paran, near Carmel, where Nabal"s herdsmen sheared sheep, the presence of his militiamen had also protected Nabal's
livestock and herdsmen from Bedouin raiders. Because sheep shearing customarily was a time of celebration,
when the festivities began, David sent ten of his young men to ask for food for his company. It was bad enough that Nabal
refused, but his reply was rude, ungracious, and insulting, and so incensed David that he gathered four hundred of his soldiers
and set out to slay the men of Nabal's household. No doubt Nabal thought his swaggering insults
were clever, saying, "Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters
these days. Why should I take my bread and water and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming
from who-knows-where?" James said, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable;
gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy" (Jas. 3:17).
Quite unlike Nabal, whose servants and workmen knew he possessed none of these traits, least of all, easy to be entreated.
God also intends for us to be hospitable (Rom. 12:13; 1 Pet. 4:9-10), as well as be kind and courteous (1 Pet. 3:8; Gal. 5:22). Abigail knew her husband's nature, and when his servants told her of his outrageous
treatment of David's messengers, she recognized the danger his folly had caused, and she took matters into her own hands to
remedy it. Gathering enough bread, wine, meat and grain to feed David and his soldiers, she set out to
intercept David on his way to avenging himself. When she met him, she reasoned with him, saying; "May my lord pay no
attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name - his name is Fool, and folly goes with him." (The name
Nabal means fool, which was apparently how others referred to him, rather than his given name.) After considerable entreating,
apologizing and invoking blessing upon David, Abigail persuaded him not to avenge himself on her household.
The Scriptures command a wife to submit to her husband, but Abigail disregarded her husband's decision, and went to David
behind Nabal's back. "Should a wife do that?" you ask. Consider this. Should
a wife act against her husband's wishes to save her family when he has set the house on fire, while in a drunken stupor?
Abigail did what she had to do to guarantee safety for her whole household, including her ill-tempered husband. What
might have happened if she had told Nabal what she intended to do, after he had angrily turned away David's messengers? It
is not difficult to imagine such a man resorting to violence in order to force his wife to submit to his will. There are husbands, even among members of the Lord's body, who believe it is a man's duty to
"put his wife in subjection." Have they simply not read that it is the wife who is to put herself in submission
to her own husband (Eph. 5:22)? A man has no authority from God to use physical or verbal abuse
to coerce his wife into subjection. He is to treat and love her as Christ loved the church, and gave His life for it (Eph.
5:23, 25). "So
ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own
flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (Eph. 5:28-29). Nevertheless, we all know husbands who treat their wives
as they would never want to be treated themselves. Who would be so naive as to suppose that cruel and hard-hearted Nabal treated
Abigail differently than the way he treated everyone else? Consider the wife whose husband squanders
every dime on liquor, or on gambling, or on frivolous purchases, forcing her to resort to squirreling away some of the household
income, in order to provide food, clothing, and shelter for the family. What of the wife whose husband will not work and provide
for his family? Such a husband puts his family in an awkward predicament. The Lord teaches us "if any would not work,
neither should he eat" (2 Thes. 3:10). A man does not
deserve to have food provided for him if he is too lazy to work. But what of his innocent wife and children? She may have
no choice but to work outside the home, with or without her husband's blessing.
Nabal evidently provided his family's material needs abundantly, but what of their need
for safety? Aren't there husbands today who are good providers, but who show little or no concern for the feelings and emotional
needs of their wives and children? You bet there are. There are those materialistic men whose money and possessions mean more
to them than human relationships - indeed, more than their relationship with their wives. Their concern over money and possessions
certainly takes precedence over being hospitable to strangers (Heb. 13:2), or sharing what they have with others (Mt. 25:35-46;
Eph. 4:28).
The
husband who considers the money he earns as "my money," rather than "our money," is not likely to be happy
in his marriage, and he is not likely to allow his wife a moment's happiness, either. He accuses her of being extravagant
when she spends his money on groceries, or other family necessities, and he resents it. Of course, what he spends, even frivolously,
he considers reasonable. Fact is, whoever is obsessively selfish with his material possessions, invariably makes himself miserable,
along with those around him (1 Tim. 6:9-10).
What would you have done in Abigail's situation? It would be easy to think, "Hey! Let David kill him! He deserves what
he gets, and my life will be a lot more bearable." Strange as it may seem, Abigail probably loved Nabal. At least, she
did what was right, because she was "a woman of good understanding." In her wisdom, she perceived the danger, and
took immediate steps to avert catastrophe for her husband, her household, and herself. She personified the virtuous woman
of Proverbs 31. She did her husband only good, and not evil. Strength and dignity were her clothing, and she continually looked
well to the ways of her household (Prov. 31:12, 25, 27). Meanwhile, back at the
ranch, Nabal was holding a feast fit for a king, and he was very drunk. He was too drunk even to comprehend how close to death
he had brought himself and his men. Abigail wisely knew she could not reason with a drunk, so she waited until morning. Upon
learning what had taken place, Nabal apparently suffered a stroke or a heart attack. Was it his narrow brush with disaster,
or a fit of rage at what Abigail had done, that caused his collapse? Within ten days, Nabal was dead. A wife must submit to her husband, but her submission must be ''as unto the Lord" and "in the
fear of the Lord" (Eph. 5:21-22). Obedience to God
must take priority over obedience to her husband (Acts 5:29). Nabal's churlishness and evil ways violated God's law, yet Abigail
did not respond to her husband's unreasonableness with vindictiveness or revenge, and she did what obedience
to God required of her. Indeed, by her prudent decision, she both saved her husband’s life, and demonstrated her wisdom
and loyalty. It would be so easy for a wife just to walk away from a hateful, spiteful, and
unreasonable husband. But in marrying him, she committed herself to him, for better, for worse, regardless of whether he would
keep his promises to her. How sad when a husband destroys his wife's respect for him, as Nabal destroyed Abigail's. He makes
marriage difficult, at best. "If it be possible, as much as lieth
in you, live peaceably with all men" (Rom. 12:18).
Although there can be no peace with some husbands, a wise wife will learn when to speak,
when to remain silent, and when God's will overrules her husband's. Abigail had learned these things. What a wise and gentle
woman to emulate.
Stay At Home Moms By Cindy Granke
When Arnie and I first married we agreed that when we had children I would be a stay-at
home mom, in order to take care of them. Arnie was in the Air Force at that time and we had to be really careful with
our money, but after 12 years service, he decided to get out of the Air Force because he felt he needed to preach.
When we moved here to Sumter, South Carolina, from Birmingham, Alabama to preach for a small congregation that met in a
basement church building, we had only been able to raise $500 a month to live on.
It was the end of August when we packed everything we owned into a truck and headed
east, with faith that God would provide for our needs. It was time for school to start and I knew we needed to manage
school supplies, fees and lunches as well as meals at home, utility deposits and monthly costs. I admit that I
was a little apprehensive. Okay, I was a lot apprehensive. However I soon found out that with our income, the
school would provide not only free lunches, but free breakfasts for the children, as well. With that problem solved,
and with the help of brethren here we were able to set up housekeeping and everything fell into place. Admittedly we
had some lean times over the years, and when the children were in high school, Arnie and I agreed that I would accept a part-time
position with the American Red Cross, here. It was an easy decision for us because Arnie was home during the day when
the children come home from school. And we both were able to participate in their school activities and be active in
all aspects of their lives. We chaperoned the band buses for the 200 piece high school marching band; Arnie became a Scout
Master in our son's Boy Scout troop and we began going camping, as a family. For many, the decision for a mother to take a job is not an easy one, and the present state
of the economy has complicated it even more. There also are many situations where a father is unable to work,
or when a dad deserts his wife and children in search of sinful activities. Sometimes
a mother finds herself in a desperate situation, like Ramona, whose note appears on this page. Although Ramona is 60 years old, she is not a widow, yet she has no income and requires the
necessities of life. Her husband and/or children bear primary responsibility for her (1 Timothy 5:3-10).
As Christians, we are individually responsible to help those in need, particularly other disciples (Mt. 25:31- 46).
Her need may not be very different from other Christians who have lost their income.
Carefully evaluating the family budget is a good place to start looking for what is
a necessity, and what is extra. A family meeting might be a good way for working age family members to explore what
expenses are for necessities, and what are non-essentials. Here are a few ideas to consider. Are all able-bodied
resident wage earners in the family helping to meet expenses? Are there cars sitting parked at home that can be eliminated,
along with their insurance premiums and taxes? Do family members have communications devices that cost money, but are
not necessary? What about other expensive subscriptions, such as internet access or satellite television?
Does the family eat home-cooked or restaurant meals, and what costs can be cut by creative meal planning ? Can the thermostat
be adjusted to reduce air conditioning and heating bills? Can alternate arrangements be made for meeting life insurance
premiums, and might policies be a temporary source of emergency funds? Does your bank offer a free financial counseling
service that can help identify other money-saving ideas? What government programs might be available to help, such as
food stamps (also known as SNAP), unemployment, or housing assistance? After all possible family income has been maximized
and non-essential expenses have been minimized, does income exceed outgo, or is there still a shortfall? If the latter
is the case, are there brethren who might be willing to share what they have?
I understand! My family and I have been there - more than once.
♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥
Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from
the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I
was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and
ye came unto me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When
saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and
came unto thee?
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these
my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
April: I would like some advice
or encouragement for stay at home wives and moms. I am 28 and have a beautiful (no bias there ha ha) 8 month old and have
received some very "not nice" comments on how I should be working outside of the home instead of staying at home
doing nothing all day I truly believe I am doing what God has commanded of me and it is truly disheartening to hear
such talk from other Christians. To throw another twist in (may need to be a separate discussion) my husband was recently
laid off so the comments have increased on that I should go back to work. I just don't feel this is what the scriptures teach.
I know that for my marriage and my personal situation if I were to jump in to "solve" the problem and go back to
work since my husband is unable to find work right now that would kill his self-esteem. He is already upset that he can't
provide for us and it would NOT make him feel any better if I ran out and got a job to "fix" the situation. I would
appreciate your insight to either or both of these situations. Thank you so very much I truly enjoy reading Our Hope and greatly
appreciate the time you all take in preparing this. April
April, God bless you for following your conscience during
these hard times. I am praying for you and that your husband might find a job soon. -anonymous
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Comments from Sue Walsh: Dear April,
This is a case where you have to be your own cheerleader. You have to develop a thick skin and keep it all the years you are
raising your children. As you have found out the hard way, very little encouragement is given women who are following God's
pattern of how a marriage and a family are to be organized. Have the same committment to this pattern as you have to God's
pattern of how to be saved. Stick to your conviction and just tell others who ask or criticize that you are following God's
pattern. You will be vindicated when others see the beautiful home and family that you have. It was a lonely road for me,
but now that my son is 20 and my daughter is 18, so many tell me what a good job my husband and I have done. My home is a
haven and my family is happy. It is all because God's way is best. Take courage and do what you know is right. I'll be praying
that your husband soon finds work and that your family will be blessed. Love, Sue
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
When I was expecting my first child, my husband and I
had a guest for dinner (for whom I had stayed home and cooked) who proceeded to tell me that only the "ignorant"
in this day and age would stay home instead of having a career. That was a little over 20 years ago, and, of course,
I had no way of knowing, then, that I would end up sick with two young children and sometimes barely be able to be a wife
and mother much less have a "career".
My second child just graduated from high school
a few weeks ago, and the past 18-20 years have gone by like the blink of an eye. We only have a few short years to help
mold their little souls, and I do not regret for a moment that I made the decision to stay home with my children. -anonymous
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Comment from Sunshine
God teaches us to provide for our own. If you can live off of what
money you have coming while your husband is not working or your savings there is no need for you to go to work. If you are
relying on others or the church to support your family while your husband looks for a job then you should help your husband
make ends meet. The Bible does not teach that mothers are not to workers. Women of Jesus' day worked very hard to perform
the simplest tasks that we take for granted today such as laundry, making sure the family had water, caring for aging parents
and relatives, sewing, and the list of chores goes on and on. Alot of stay at home moms that I know park their children
in front of the television, browse the web all day, or stay gone from home all day. I am sure you can find a family
member or your husband to watch the baby while you work until your husband finds a job. Sunshine
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I had a husband off for 9 months because of back surgery.
I had 3 children and one of them nursing. I have to say God did provide in those times. I believe this time off is only for
a time and the husband needs to continue to look for work even if it is not what he wants. He takes what he can get and continue
to look for something that he likes. The husband is the head and needs to be the one that works. God has a time for us to
refocus and a time to lean on Him. I found this was a time where we just focused on our needs and not wants. GOD is good and
will provide and I pray that the church will help out. -anonymous
Cindy has an excellent article at the top of
the page. There are women who have to work; they are not working for "things," nor are they working for their ego
or because they are just bored - there is a necessity. These women should be encouraged and strengthened for most of them
would rather be using their energy and time in taking care of their homes. For those women who can stay home I would like
to add this article which helps us to get our priorities right and to remind ourselves what God says about taking care
of our homes. pg
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
"KEEPERS AT HOME" - By Steve Fontenot
Older women are to encourage the younger women to be “keepers at home”
(Tit. 2:3-5, KJV); “workers at home” (NASB); “homemakers” (NKJV); “busy at home” (NIV);
“good managers of the household” (NRSV); “fulfilling their duties at home” (NET).
Thayer’s
Greek Lexicon tells us the word translated “keepers/workers at home” means, “properly, ‘the (watch
or) keeper of a house’ (Sophocles, Euripides, Aris-tophanes, Pausanias, Plutarch, others). b. tropically, ‘keeping
at home and taking care of household affairs, domestic.’” The word is derived either from house + work [oikov,
ergou - “workers at home”], or, house + keeper [koiso, ourov - “keepers at home”] (a MSS difference).
It is clearly a word pointing to fulfilling the responsibilities of caring for a family.
Older women who
have a “healthy” (“sound”) view of responsibility conforming to the purpose of our redemption in Christ
(Tit. 2:1, 11-15) are to teach younger women “to be” this kind of woman. This would seem to include teaching them
that they have this responsibility--that it’s an honorable, God-given responsibility, and what it entails. This would
be rather difficult for an older woman who had given her heart and life to business, civil, social, or physical pursuits and
responsibilities.
Specifics do not exclude,
and this word would not exclude a woman from working in a secular job, serving in a political capacity, or being an athlete,
but Paul instructs that being a “homemaker” should be taught to younger women, and says nothing here about women
being taught to devote themselves to these other pursuits (nor is that focus taught anywhere in Scripture). Has our society--even
men and women who are Christians--reversed this emphasis, stressing and teaching the importance and skills of business, etc.
and failing to teach and emphasize the role of being “good managers of the household”? And if a woman’s
physical and mental energies are depleted in other pursuits, how good a “manager” will she be of the home, and
how many duties will go “unfulfilled”?
“Homes”
have become little more than “houses” to show off our “things,” and demonstrate the level of economic
status we have attained. Houses are used as children factories where children are conceived and then pushed out of the way
so material and worldly priorities can be pursued, rather than a place where children are nurtured in moral and spiritual
character, taught responsibility, and experience the comforting assurance of love, peace, and security. Because of a failure
to develop and cultivate the family relationship, the stage is set for conflict, unhappiness, discontentment, and even divorce,
rather than providing the example of commitment, selflessness, and sacrifice for one’s family and for God, and the joys
such priorities bring.
We need women who will learn and devote
themselves to the home and thereby in time be the “older women” who will “train the younger women”
in this God-intended role. We need men who will encourage their wives and their daughters to be devoted to making the home
all God intended and reaping the powerful fruit that can be had from women who are “working at home,” rather than
pushing their wives and their children’s mother into the world so they can have more “things.” And we need
preachers who will preach that this is God’s plan, for that is what Paul told Titus to teach in the churches on the
island of Crete. http://www.thinkonthesethings.com
* * * *
* Joanne sent this humorous look at Parenting.
PARENT
Job Description
POSITION
Mom,
Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION
Long term, team players
needed, for challenging
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight
travel required, including trips to primitive camping
sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away
cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated,
at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in
three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must
be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework
projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social
gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product
safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery
operated devices. Must always hope for the best
but be prepared
for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end
product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating
your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS
EXPERIENCE
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job
training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is
due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you
actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS
While
no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are
offered; this job supplies limitless
opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs
and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
AND If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
* * * *
* * My
Very Best Tea
Party
One
day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just
recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and
it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news
when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy
tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for
Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)
Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to
get water is the toilet?
Our Children Learn
Best By
Watching Us When I was a little boy, my mom
liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast
after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned
toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at
my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear
butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize
to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said.
'Baby, I love burned toast.'
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night, and I
asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Little Buddy, your Momma put in a hard
day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone! You know, life is full of imperfect
things...and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.'
What I've learned
over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one
of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. And that's my prayer for you today -
that you will learn to take the good, the bad and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in
the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship,
in fact - understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!!"
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - but into God's.
See through God's eyes and feel through God's heart, and you will appreciate the value of every soul, including yourself.
author unknown
♥ ♥ ♥
♥
When
You Thought I Wasn't Looking
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.
When you thought
I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.
When
you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can
be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that
there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of
each
other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people
who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.
When
you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take
care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities,
even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.
When
you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's
all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything
that I could be
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to
be a good and
productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'
What
mothers-in-law would like to say. . . but don’t 1. I've never seen my son happier than he
is now, married and with children. Thank you. 2. You don't
have to call me "Mom." But it would be nice if you did.
3. I'm so grateful that my daughter has another
person to look after her. I am finally off the hook.
4. If you hate that green sweater I bought you, please, please
tell me. I really want to make you happy.
5. Thank you for making my child so happy. If I haven't told you that
very much, it's because I'm afraid you'll think I'm sucking up.
6. I desperately want to ask you, When are you
going to have children?
7. I’ve never formed a warm bond with you, but when I see how happy my son is, I
feel enormous affection for you.
8. Sometimes I watch you making choices that I so fear will lead you to difficulty.
But I bite my tongue. I so wish I could talk to you about it.
9. I'm aware that my time on this earth is growing
shorter. I want to spend it positively. I don't want to waste it by fighting.
10. I might not have the best ideas,
but I do have decades of experience. I'd like to share my advice more.
11. If you think I can't give good advice
because I don't have the full picture, well ... paint it for me.
12. We're from different generations, and we'll
probably always see things differently.
13. I really want to give my grandkids a gift now and then, but you forbid
me to do it. That's painful.
14. The last time I was at your house, you hardly even spoke to me. I can't understand
why.
15. What I want most can't be wrapped in a box or bought online. I just want to be loved.
16. I
thought you'd be thrilled to have me as your mother-in-law, that you'd think, Wow, I'm so lucky! It kills me that
you don't.
17. I always send gifts for your birthday and all the holidays. It bugs me that you never thank me
personally. 18. Some mothers-in-law will say anything. I try not to. It's not wanted, appreciated, or believed.
19. I feel a little resentful that suddenly my whole life is seen through the prism of "the mother-in-law."
I've actually led a rich, interesting, complicated life. I wish you'd see me that way.
20. When I call you on
the phone at 8 in the morning on a Saturday, I hope you're not secretly saying, "Why is she calling here so early?" 21. Sometimes I weep. I'll think, How could my child who
I loved so much marry someone I don’t understand at all?
22. I want you to need me. I want to feel valued,
respected, and loved.
23. I don't always agree with your decisions. But I know you have to live your own life.
24. I would visit my grandchildren more if I felt closer to you.
25. You're bright, thoughtful, and
loving. I'm lucky we have each other. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Sources:
Susan Abel Lieberman, PhD (The Mother-in-Law's Manual), Jane Angelich (What's a Mother [in-Law] to Do?), and anonymous mothers-in-law in four states. From Reader's Digest - May 2009
While I was reading over some pages about mother's-in-law I came across the poem below. The author of the poem is
unknown, but talented bride-to-be, Cami Franklin liked it so well that she did it in calligraphy for her
mother-in-law when she and her husband were married, and included their wedding date at the top of the
page. What a sweet way to start off a relationship with a new mother-in-law. You can see Cami's calligraphy
version of the poem on her website. Cindy
Today's the day I take the name
Of the son that you have raised
And if I could tell you just one thing
It's that you should be praised
Thank
you for teaching him truth
Thank you for teaching him love
Thanks for being a Mother
Who looked to God above
The concern and care he shows me
Are things I prize in his life
It's said if he honors his Mother
A son will
honor his wife
So as we pledge our vows this day
To love and cherish each other
I'm honored to be the daughter
in law
Of such a precious Mother! ~ author unknown ~
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