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Margaret Head received this from a sister she worships with:
"I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday
and she
shared a poem with me that was written by a 15 year old Christian
young lady that has been diagnosed with
a brain tumor. It is
considered the most aggresive form of a tumor from what I
understand. What maturity she demonstrates!
May this help us all
remember what is truly important!"
 I like to be
by myself, but I can't stand being alone.
I love the dark, but I hate not being able to see.
I enjoy meeting
new people, but I hate being with strangers.
I want my voice to be heard, but I despise talking loud.
I want to
be in a hall of fame, but I don't like being the center of
attention.
I want to have my most complicated problems
solved, but I don't want
complicated answers.
I want to always be healthy, but not have to take medicine.
The answer: GOD!
With God, I can be away from the world, by myself, but not be alone,
for He is with
me.
With God, I can be in the dark, be blind, but see more than people
of this world can.
With God, I can
meet new people, but they won't be strangers,
because they are children of God, just like me.
With God, my
voice can be heard even when I whisper.
With God, I can enter His hall of fame, but not deal with the
pressure
of earthly fame.
With God, I can have even my most complicated problems solved with a
simple answer.
With
God, I can have an incurable disease, yet be healthy in what
matters most.
WITHOUT GOD, I will be with the
world, and be totally alone.
Without God, I will walk around with my eyes wide open, but not see
as much as the
Christian blind man sees.
Without God, I will meet all the people in the world, but they will
always be strangers.
Without God, I will have to raise my voice as loud as I can to be
heard, but still not be heard when it matters most.
Without God, I will have work extremely hard to get into a worldly
hall of fame, but not get into the highest one.
Without God, my most complicated problems, can't be solved, and the
attempts will be so complicated, I won't
understand them.
Without God, I will have to take pill after pill, but will always be
incurably sick.
With God, I can achieve anything.
Without God, I will achieve nothing.
What's your choice?
by Kelsey
Healthy Children Often Take A Backseat
When Sibling Falls Ill
Angela Bettis
Parents are often so consumed caring for the sick child that
they can think of nothing else, including their other children.
"If you were to ask the parents how their children at home are doing, they would say, 'Fine, they're
with grandma, going to the zoo,'" said University of Wisconsin Child Life Director Mary Kaminski. "If you were
to ask the school teacher, they would say, 'They're not paying attention, they're daydreaming, they're behaviorally
upsetting the class.'" Grace Hime, 13, of Mount Horeb, has lived her entire life in the shadow of her sister's lifelong battle with
cystic fibrosis.
"I thought she was so lucky she always
got to go to the hospital," said Grace. "I thought that was practically a hotel because you got free food and all
sorts of stuff."
"The sibling may think, 'Well,
they're spending all this time with them. They must like them better than me,'" said Kaminski.
In reality, that is the opposite of what parents are thinking.
Grace said that many times, people will ask how her sister is doing and unintentionally
neglect to ask her how she is doing.
"They ask a lot of
questions like, 'How is your sister doing?'" said Grace. "They say it a lot and sometimes it gets annoying."
"Just listening to her come home and hearing the frustration about,
'Well, everyone wants to know about Sarah.' Those things really stick with me," said Bill Hime, father of both
girls.
The Himes turned the attention spotlight on Grace and
made sure everything between the sisters was equal, WISC-TV reported.
"You are acutely aware of it and you are constantly, in those quiet moments, judging yourself," said Bill
Hime. "You try to make it as even as you can and because you're so aware of it, you can tend to be a little overzealous."
That acute awareness led the Himes to put Grace in counseling in third
grade.
What they soon realized was that Grace didn't need
counseling; she needed special time with her parents and especially, her sister.
"One person we've always been most concerned about is Grace," said Hime. "That's what people
forget."
Experts said that the Himes are the exception
to the rule. In the midst of medical crisis, most healthy siblings take a backseat both physically and emotionally.
A few years ago, the Tracy family lost their 18-month-old son Tyler
after a lengthy medical battle.
"We kind of lost track
of what was going on with Austin and Mikayla," said Jeff Tracy. "We did the best we could just to get by."
"I feel I missed Mikayla's whole preschool year and time,"
said Kristin Tracy. "Austin was 2 and Mikayla was 4, so I feel like I missed his whole second year. It was very traumatic."
The family spent most of Tyler's 18 months running to the hospital.
Their two preschool-aged children shuffled to friends and family.
"We
probably neglected to realize that they were impacted by what was going on," said Jeff Tracy.
"The one absolute is that they continue to age," said Bill Hime. "They continue to grow and mature
and become their own person. You'll either be a part of it or you'll miss it, because it's going to happen one
way or another."
Child experts said that maintaining that
parent-child bond is critical despite the mental and emotional exhaustion of the parents.
"If the sibling does not survive the process, what have you done to continue to build the one who is left behind?"
said Hime. "What have you given them to work with? Now do you suddenly have to get to know them because you failed to
grow with them? That's a lot of ground you may not be able to make up."
*
Don't forget about your healthy child who is an adult. Adult children can also feel left out and unloved if they aren't
given attention.
Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes
You Knew. . .
On http://books.google.com I read part of a very interesting book called, Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew,by
Ellen Notbohm. As I was looking over this book I felt the author would not like the title of my page, My Child is Ill,
in reference to autism. She states she doesn't like the term: "Does your child suffer from
autism," but rather does he "live with autism?". She looks at autism from a positive
frame of mind that individuals with autism are showing they can "overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of
autism's most challenging aspects as part of their fulfilling and dynamic lives."
While I've never
raised a child with autism, from what little knowledge I have it looks like an interesting and helpful book. The 10 points
the author expounds on are:
1. I am first and foremost a child.
2. My sensory perceptions are
disordered.
3. Distinguish between won't and can't.
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I
interpret language very literally.
5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary.
6. Because language
is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented.
7. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't
do.
8. Help me with social interactions.
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns.
10. If
you are a family member, please love me unconditionally.
An interesting thing I read in the book is why a grocery
store, like the poem to the right, may be so unnerving to a child with autism. While our brain filters thousands of multiple
sensory inputs (what we see, hear, smell etc.), his brain does not. His hearing, sights, touch, smell may be overly sensitive
and hyper-acute.
As he is in the grocery store he may hear everyone talking at once, coupled with the loudspeaker
and music from the sound system. He hears cash registers, coughing, a coffee grinder, the screeching of the meat cutter, babies
crying, carts creaking and even the hum of the fluorescent lights. He may smell the meat that isn't quite fresh, body
odor, deli smells, pickles that had been dropped, a dirty diaper and he may be smelling all these at once. He may become overstimulated
by all the sights: the fluorescent light makes the room pulsate, it bounces off everything and distorts his vision. There
are too many items to focus on such as glares from windows, moving fans and many bodies in motion.
This and much
more are contained in this book. Google only provides sections of the book, but it sounds like a good book for everyone to
read, especially those who may have a friend or family member who lives with autism.
Undisciplined
or
Overstimulated
Please
don't misunderstand me and think by these writings about taking an autistic child to the grocery store that I believe
autistic children should be isolated and not experience the world. On the contrary. I'm just giving examples of what I've
read to try and help us understand from the child and parent's point of view. Also, for our own sakes it's common
for us to immediately judge disruptive children and their mothers when we don't know what is going on with them. Yes,
they could very well be just undisciplined (so common nowadays) but maybe...just maybe there are other issues we don't
understand. And sometimes when we do know a child is autistic or bipolar we still are tempted to misjudge the parenting skills.
Let's try and be more patient with others and refrain from judging.
My Autistic Son -
By Leonie Murray ('a mother')
Often
when I'm shopping
Just my little one and me,
A small chore becomes enormous
As he acts Autisticly. It seems to take forever
Through the check-outs at the shop,
So I pacify
with lollies
So a tantrum I can stop. I know the folks
around
If they see him in a rage,
Would think that he is spoilt
And immature for his age. I make it to the car
But the lolly's running out,
Since no one is
around
I let him have a shout. But that was just the start
Of such a dismal display,
His seat belt he won't wear
And the ice-cream melts away. "Come on Baby-Boy,
Stop this scream and moan"
As I promise to myself
'Next time, I shop
alone'. Happy he is now
As we enter at our gate,
His tears turn into laughter
And once again becomes my mate. He
helps to put the food away
Pretends that he's the boss,
It's then, I feel so guilty
And so sad for
feeling cross. In the safety of his home
And unexpectantly
for some,
He wraps his arms around me
And says "I LUD-DEL you Mum". He makes me feel so needed
And he will for years to come,
I love him as he is
He is, my special son. We take Life day by day
With obsessions and delight,
Black and white
he sees it
And all is wrong or right. Repetitive in his
ways
And now predictable, I see,
Because I've studied and observed him
As he lives, Autisticly.
The following is a poem was found on an
internet support group: The author states: "Double Bind: Too Similar and Yet Too Different" is a "found
poem" composed of patronizing remarks coworkers have made to me over the years, and my unspoken replies.
"Double
Bind: Too Similar and Yet Too Different"
by Henrietta Brown
Of course you can!
I have every confidence
in the world in you.
It looks great.
Oh, I'm sure nobody noticed.
The people skills can change.
Just
think positive.
You're a smart girl.
No, folks,
I'm not like you.
I don't want compliments.
I'm not normal.
You may not see it, but I do.
I only want understanding.
We all want what we can't
have.
You'd be so good at this if only
you would look at customers
while they speak,
and still
process their words
well enough to answer quickly,
giving them the information they really want,
not literal
answers to the questions they ask.
If only I had a different brain?
They're not asking the difficult,
you understand:
only that I change every atom of my DNA
so I can be part of their world,
on their terms;
give myself enough oxygen at birth;
trade my engineer dad for a socialite.
Seems like anybody would know
to do that.
You need to learn how to work as a team.
You should be able to do exactly what we do,
exactly the
way we do it.
I'm marking you down as negligent
until you learn to converse
in a manner that pleases your
peers.
Our interests should be your interests.
Get married!
Go to rock concerts!
Well, OK, then
-- classical, if you insist.
But everybody needs noise and crowds,
so dose yourself today.
Wear uncomfortable
clothes, and we may begin to accept you.
I'm happy enough.
I've lived in this quirky body
long
enough to be used to it.
You're the one with the problem.
Diversity is fashionable,
so I'm in style
for once.
Because I look like you, you refuse to understand.
CHILDREN AND DOCTOR'S
WAITING ROOMS
Pat Gates
TOY BAG.
Keep books and toys in a "to go" bag. Put them up when you get home so they will remain special for trips to doctor/hospital.
GERMS! Be careful about
germs. A "to go" bag of toys will be especially helpful if, in some cases, you may not want your child to be exposed
to the germs that may be on the waiting room toys (pre-surgery checkup is one such case). Also, you may want to keep clean
wipes in your purse in case your child wants to play with the computer that is now found in many pediatric waiting rooms.
ANNOYING CHILDREN:
Don't allow your child to annoy others who are waiting. (I'm not talking about the normal crying a baby may make
or the fussiness of a sick or scared child.) Make sure they aren't too loud, too rowdy, or too friendly.
What I mean by too friendly is that while it is good to have a friendly child, limit his conversations with others who are
waiting as they may not feel physically or emotionally in the mood for long conversations. This goes for the parents as well. CONVERSATIONS: If you do get into a lengthy
conversation with another parent don't take over the conversation and give a life history of your child and his/her illness.
Be sure to listen as well. BAD EXPERIENCES:
Don't talk about the bad experiences your child had with doctors, nurses, hospitalizations etc. in front of your
own child or any of the children. Don't be overly negative with other parents who have a child with the same physical
problem as your child.
HIDDEN FEARS. Remember
your child may be experiencing fears that he/she doesn't know how to express and they may be having a difficult day emotionally.
Be patient and gentle but remember even sick children need boundaries and should never learn that illness is an excuse to
bother or mistreat other children. WILL
IT HURT? If your child asks you what the doctor is going to do and if it will hurt, always be honest.
If you don't know, tell them so, if you know it will hurt, tell them it will without being overly dramatic. State
it calmly, and if it will hurt just a short time (like a shot or IV) let them know that and that you will be there to be ready
to give hugs that will help the hurt go away (however, only say that if you know you will be there). Honesty is very important.
You can reassure your child you will be with them and if they have to go for a test and you can't go with him,
tell him you will be waiting nearby.
SIBLINGS: Be sure and give attention to your well children who may be there also. The
environment could be scary for them and they may also have fears about what their brother or sister may have to undergo. If
they witness any trauma the ill child has to go through this could create fears that they may not express (or know how to
express). Be sure to reassure the well children and give them the love and care they need. If you can't tend
to both the ill child and their sibling, try and get someone to be with you at these checkups who can help or
ask the nurse to help reassure the well child.
DON'T STARE:
Teach your child not to stare at children who are physically disabled or who have physical "marks" of treatment,
such as chemotherapy or radiation. This is especially important if you are taking your child to a large teaching hospital
where they will meet children with various health issues. One great benefit for children with severe congenital problems is
that they grow up around children with health issues and they learn, at a young age, to accept everyone, from every walk of
life, and every different physical appearance the disease or treatments may give children. My son said hospitals are great
equalizers - and to a great extent this is true.
MAKE IT A FAMILY DAY: If
this is an annual or semi-annual (or more often) "big" doctor visit with lots of tests that are routine
for a chronically ill child, always make it a special day afterwards, if you can. This is something you can talk about in
the waiting room so they have something to look forward to. However, in some cases (like my son's), you may never know
for sure if they will have to be hospitalized after the checkup, so you may want to say if we can't have the family day
after the appointment, we'll have it later. Follow through is a must - never give empty promises. When my son's heart
checkups would come, it was always a family day and the four of us would do something special together and if he had to go
in the hospital we'd have time together when he got out or as soon as possible. Even though he is 29 now, if we
happen to be with him at one of these "big" checkups we still go out for a special dinner together. This would give
those tense, tiring clinic visits something to look forward to.
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EXAMINING ROOMS. These are a lot less fun, since they're
often cold and sparsely furnished and your child is often cranky and sparsely dressed. All the better to get some distracting
interaction going. Play a game of I Spy with items in the room or outside the window. Help your child do an improvised
exam on a stuffed animal. Have a conversation on a play phone, asking where oh where that doctor is. Blow up a balloon to
bat about together, or have a diving competition to see which doll can make the most spectacular leap off the examining table
and onto the (probably germ-riddled; don't think about it) floor. -selected off the internet
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A topic I would like discussed on this page is: ADHD and ADD
ADHD used to be known as attention
deficit disorder, or ADD. In 1994, it was renamed ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder and broken down into three subtypes, each with its own pattern of behaviors. The official diagnosis
of ADHD includes the three major symptoms (inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness). The most recent version of the
handbook for mental health professionals states that people with ADHD may have any or all of the major symptoms
1. an inattentive type, with signs that include:
- inability to pay attention to details or a tendency to make careless errors in
schoolwork or other activities
- difficulty with sustained attention
in tasks or play activities
- apparent listening problems
- difficulty following instructions
- problems with organization
- avoidance or dislike of
tasks that require mental effort
- tendency to lose things like
toys, notebooks, or homework
- distractibility
- forgetfulness in daily activities
2. a hyperactive-impulsive type, with signs that include: - fidgeting or squirming
- difficulty remaining seated
- excessive running or climbing
- difficulty playing quietly
- always seeming to be "on
the go"
- excessive talking
- blurting out answers before hearing the full question
- difficulty
waiting for a turn or in line
- problems with interrupting or
intruding
3. a combined type, which
involves a combination of the other two types and is the most common Although it can often be challenging to raise kids with ADHD, it's important to remember they aren't "bad,"
"acting out," or being difficult on purpose. And children who are diagnosed with ADHD have difficulty controlling
their behavior without medication or behavioral therapy. How
Is It Diagnosed?Most cases of ADHD are treated by primary
care doctors. Because there's no test that can determine the presence of ADHD, a diagnosis depends on a complete evaluation.
When the diagnosis is in doubt, or if there are other concerns, such as Tourette syndrome, a learning disability, or depression,
a child may be referred to a neurologist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Ultimately, though, the primary care doctor gathers
the information, makes the diagnosis, and starts treatment. To
be considered for a diagnosis of ADHD: - a child must display
behaviors from one of the three subtypes before age 7
- these
behaviors must be more severe than in other kids the same age
- the
behaviors must last for at least 6 months
- the behaviors must
occur in and negatively affect at least two areas of a child's life (such as school, home, day-care settings, or friendships)
www.kidshealth.org
Children who have ADHD may be difficult to parent. They
may have trouble understanding directions. Children who are in a constant state of activity can be challenging for adults.
You may need to change your home life a bit to help your child. Here are some things you can do to help:
- Make a schedule.
Set specific times for waking up, eating, playing, doing homework, doing chores, watching TV or playing video games, and going
to bed. Post the schedule where your child will always see it. Explain any changes to the routine in advance.
- Make simple house rules. It's important to explain what
will happen when the rules are obeyed and when they are broken. Write down the rules and the results of not following them.
- Make sure your directions are understood. Get your child's
attention and look directly into his or her eyes. Then tell your child in a clear, calm voice specifically what you want.
Keep directions simple and short. Ask your child to repeat the directions back to you.
- Reward good behavior. Congratulate your child when he or she completes each step of a task.
- Make sure your child is supervised all the time. Because
they are impulsive, children who have ADHD may need more adult supervision than other children their age.
- Watch your child around his or her friends. It's sometimes
hard for children who have ADHD to learn social skills. Reward good play behaviors.
- Set a homework routine. Pick a regular place for doing homework, away from distractions such as
other people, TV and video games. Break homework time into small parts and have breaks.
- Focus on effort, not grades. Reward your child when he or she tries to finish school work, not just
for good grades. You can give extra rewards for earning better grades.
- Talk with your child's teachers. Find out how your child is doing at school--in class, at playtime,
at lunchtime. Ask for daily or weekly progress notes from the teacher.
from http://familydoctor.org
Below
are some tips for helping to build relationships between kids with ADHD and grandparents: - Provide grandparents with information on the child’s disability
through magazine articles, books or links to sites like Psych
Central. Learning about a disability helps other family members learn
how to relate to the child as an individual.
- Provide
information that explains behavior, if the child’s disability makes him or her act out. It is often easier
for grandparents to understand and accept a child’s behavior if they read explanations from an authority. This also
keeps the parent from having to explain or be put on the defensive.
- Suggest ways for the child to interact with grandparents. Identify mutually enjoyable activities.
If you know that certain activities are difficult for your child, steer away from them. For example, if your child does better
one-on-one in a quieter setting, pick a simple activity like working on a puzzle together in a quiet room.
- Try to gauge the comfort zone of both the child and the grandparent.
Offer to stay in the room if either seems nervous about being left alone together, or stay nearby where you can hear if difficulties
arise. Assure the grandparents that you know the child needs a relationship with them and you want to help foster it.
- Finally, step out of the way as the relationship progresses. As
the child and the grandparent become more comfortable with each other, allow the relationship to happen, accepting that they
will have to negotiate glitches on their own. No relationship is without its difficulties, and as parents, we can’t
always provide perfect situations. When you step back, do it with the acknowledgement that you’ve done your best.
http://psychcentral.com
If
you are of the mindset ADHD is only an excuse for a lenient parent with a bad child and a good spanking will cure it,
then I suggest you get on the internet and do a search on ADHD. Read some stories from parents and from adults with this disorder.
Yes, it is possible for a wrong diagnosis, as it is possible for a wrong diagnosis of most any disease, but just because a
few may be misdiagnosed is no reason to throw out the reality of ADHD. The loneliness and pressures that accompany living
with ADHD is enough to deal with, they don't need your doubts.
I was asked to discuss Tourette
Syndrome and obsessive complusive disorder (OCD). I wasn't able to complete research of OCD in Tourette children
but did include an article on OCD in general as well as an anonymous letter from a woman who writes from her experience with
her husband who has OCD. 30 to 50 percent of people with Gilles de la Tourette Syndrome are also affected with obsessive
compulsive disorder.
What is Tourette Syndrome?
Tourette syndrome (TS) is a neurological disorder
characterized by repetitive, stereotyped, involuntary movements and vocalizations called tics. The first symptoms of TS are
almost always noticed in childhood. Some of the more common tics include eye blinking and other vision
irregularities, facial grimacing, shoulder shrugging, and head or shoulder jerking. Perhaps the most dramatic
and disabling tics are those that result in self-harm such as punching oneself in the face, or vocal tics including coprolalia
(uttering swear words) or echolalia (repeating the words or phrases of others). Many with TS experience
additional neurobehavioral problems including inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity, and obsessive-compulsive symptoms
such as intrusive thoughts/worries and repetitive behaviors. Is there any treatment?
Because
tic symptoms do not often cause impairment, the majority of people with TS require no medication for tic suppression. However,
effective medications are available for those whose symptoms interfere with functioning. There is no one medication that is
helpful to all people with TS, nor does any medication completely eliminate symptoms. Effective medications
are also available to treat some of the associated neurobehavioral disorders that can occur in patients with TS. Because
tic symptoms do not often cause impairment, the majority of people with TS require no medication for tic suppression. However,
effective medications are available for those whose symptoms interfere with functioning. There is no one medication that is
helpful to all people with TS, nor does any medication completely eliminate symptoms. Effective medications
are also available to treat some of the associated neurobehavioral disorders that can occur in patients with TS. Because
tic symptoms do not often cause impairment, the majority of people with TS require no medication for tic suppression. However,
effective medications are available for those whose symptoms interfere with functioning. There is no one medication that is
helpful to all people with TS, nor does any medication completely eliminate symptoms. Effective medications
are also available to treat some of the associated neurobehavioral disorders that can occur in patients with TS.
What is the prognosis?
Although TS can be a chronic condition with symptoms lasting a lifetime, most
people with the condition experience their worst symptoms in their early teens, with improvement occurring in the late teens
and continuing into adulthood. As a result, some individuals may actually become symptom free or no longer
need medication for tic suppression.
Causes, incidence, and risk factors Tourette syndrome is named for Georges Gilles de la Tourette, who first described this
disorder in 1885. There is strong evidence that Tourette syndrome is passed down through families, although the gene has not
yet been found. The syndrome may be linked to problems in certain areas of the brain, and the
chemical substances (dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine) that help nerve cells talk to one another. Tourette syndrome can be either severe or mild. About 10% of Americans have a mild form. Many people with very mild
tics may not be aware of them and never seek medical help. Tourette syndrome is four times as
likely to occur in boys as in girls
Although Tourette's has been stigmatized by the media
as the "Cursing Disease," only a minority of individuals who have Tourette's experience unvoluntary outbursts
of socially inappropriate or taboo expressions. A number of studies suggest that less than half of individuals seen in clinics
that specialize in Tourette's may have this type of symptom, and that it occurs in less than 10% of children with TS. Since specialty clinics tend to see the more severe
cases, this suggests that an even smaller percentage of individuals with Tourette's in the general population will have
these complex vocal tics that are called "coprolalia." Coprolalia is not required for diagnosis of TS. Some coprolalia is immediately obvious as a tic: the individual may have one obscene or socially unacceptable word
or phrase that they blurt out repetitively and inappropriately in the middle of speech. Other coprolalia may be more difficult
to recognize as a symptom since it is often triggered by cues in the immediate environment. As an example, an individual who
has coprolalia may just blurt out whatever is inappropriate or unacceptable in a particular situation. Walking down the street,
the sight of a buxom woman may lead to "Big boobs!" As another example, the sight of someone of a different race
may trigger a racial epithet -- although the person may have no racial prejudice and feels mortified by what just popped out
of his or her mouth. http://www.tourettesyndrome.net
Written by a person with Tourettes in regards to an
experience she had when she was a child. She had a very wise teacher who helped her get through a speech she had to make in
front of her class.
"Mrs. B. went one step further....the morning of my
presentation, she had the kids pass a paper heart around the class. As each child got the heart, he/she would say a 'cut-down',
crumple the heart and then pass it to the next child to do the same. She then showed the class the crumpled heart and said
that's how a person felt when something mean was said or done to him/her. She passed the heart around again and had each
child apologize for their cut-down, then open the heart up and pass it to the next child to apologize. At the end of it all,
the heart was still very crumpled and wrinkled. She explained that although the apology was given...the heart was never the
same!"
A good site to visit for Tourettes Syndrome information
is www.tourettesyndrom.net. The site author is Leslie E. Packer PhD. She is psychologist who is married
to a man with Tourettes Syndrome as well as having two young adult children with TS+. There is a good exercise on this site to help parents and others to better understand how tics can interfere with
reading and concentraton. http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/tourette_awareness_parents.htm
I have a spider inside me. It makes my lips smack. I have a spider inside me And it makes me feel black. His name is Tourette's.
I have a kangaroo inside me. It makes me jump up and down. I have a kangaroo inside
me And
it makes me feel brown. His name is Tourette's.
I have a frog inside me. It makes me warty and mean. I have a frog inside me And it turns me green. His name is Tourette's.
I have an eel inside me And it makes me slither. I have an eel inside
me And
it makes me shiver. His name is Tourette's.
I have a wild horse inside me. It makes me feel like prancing. I have a wild horse inside me And it's always dancing.
His name is Tourette's.
I have a tiger inside me And it makes me growl. I have a tiger inside me And when I get mad, I go "r-o-w-l!" His name is Tourette's.
I'm going to shoot those animals. I'm going to bring
a banana. I'm
going to shoot those animals. I'm going to wear a bandanna.
And then the puppy inside me Will make me happy and play. And then the puppy inside me Won't ever run away. His name is Justin.
© 1991, Justin Packer-Hopke, age 9 ½. All rights reserved.
This poem may be reproduced for noncommercial peer education purposes.
Thinking of tics in Tourette Syndrome as "involuntary" is sometimes confusing since it is known that most
people with Tourette do have some control over their symptoms; what is truly "involuntary" is
the feeling of discomfort or "premonitory urge" which the tics serve to satiate. This is analogous to a person's
desire to scratch a mosquito bite (over which one has imperfect control) to alleviate an itch sensation (over which one has
no control). What is also not often recognized is that the control, which can be exercised anywhere from seconds to hours
at a time, may merely postpone more severe outbursts of symptoms. People with Tourette Syndrome may seek a secluded spot to release their symptoms after delaying them in
school or at work. Typically, tics increase as a result of tension or stress, and decrease with relaxation or concentration
on an absorbing task. http://www.lifesatwitch.com/
What's it like to have tics? Here's a small example:
Try not to blink your eyes. See how long you can go without
blinking and think about the strong urge you have to blink your eyes and how difficult it is not to blink. This gives you
a little idea how difficult it is for someone with tourettes to hold back tics. It also gives you an idea the sense of
relief to release the tics, as the relief you felt when you finally blinked.
Obsessive compulsive disorder
– help for families
Living with a person with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
can have a major impact on the family. The obsessional fears and compulsive behaviours that are symptoms of OCD can be difficult
to understand, and may be disruptive to family routines and activities. It is helpful for families to find out as much as
possible about the condition. Knowledge and understanding will decrease feelings of confusion and distress, and help to open
up communication with the family member who has OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterised by recurring and unwanted thoughts, impulses and images (obsessions)
and repetitive behavioural and mental rituals (compulsions). People with OCD are usually aware that their obsessions and compulsions
are irrational and excessive, yet feel unable to control or resist them, leading to significant distress. Common obsessions
include fears of contamination from germs, dirt or poisons, or fears of harm from illness or an accident. Common compulsions
include excessive handwashing or household cleaning, and excessive checking of appliances, vehicles or buildings to ensure
safety. OCD can take up many hours of a person’s day, and severely affect work, study and family and social relationships.
Families may often become deeply involved in the sufferer’s rituals, and may have to assume responsibility and care
for many daily activities that the family member with OCD is unable to undertake. It can be difficult, demanding and exhausting
to live with a person who has OCD.
Get an accurate understanding of the condition
It is important, firstly, to get a correct diagnosis. Accepting
that it is a recognised mental health problem, and getting a true picture of what it is all about, are usually the first critical
steps towards effective treatment and recovery. Once the condition has been named, the family and the person with OCD can
access many resources – books, videos and web-sites, that will provide insight and understanding about OCD, including
specific aspects of OCD such as hoarding, obsessional thinking, and hyper-responsibility. This knowledge will eliminate many
misunderstandings and concerns about this disorder – the family will learn that it is not caused by laziness, lack of
will-power, bad parenting or trauma. Blame and guilt will be greatly diminished. A diagnosis will also open the door to the
right sorts of treatment and community supports that are available. Knowing what the problem is and what can be done to help,
can considerably reduce family members’ feelings of confusion, anger and fear, and bring some clarity and direction
into a difficult and stressful situation.
Offer support and understanding
When you are more informed about OCD it will be easier to
be supportive and understanding to your family member. You will realise that many of their behaviours that are irritating
and demanding are actually symptoms of their condition. You will come to understand that people with OCD often feel compelled
to repeatedly seek reassurance or to do a particular action over and over again, and that they feel they have little or no
control over this. In fact, people with OCD often also feel frustrated and distressed about their need to act compulsively.
It is helpful to be able to communicate clearly the difference between the sufferer’s behavioural symptoms of OCD, and
who they are as a person – “this is not you – it is your OCD”. This will diminish the person’s
feelings of guilt and low self-worth, which in turn will help to lower their levels of stress and anxiety. Other suggestions
include:
• Encourage talking about the disorder, so that you can learn more about how it affects your family member
and how you can be more supportive. However, don’t engage in discussions about the logic of the OCD – most people
with OCD know their obsessions and compulsions are excessive and irrational.
• Encourage the person to seek professional
help. OCD is generally not a condition that will go away without treatment. You can assist in locating an experienced therapist,
and offer to be involved in their treatment program. In particular, if the OCD has had a significant impact on family activities,
and you and other family members have been extensively involved in rituals and avoidance behaviours you will need to know
the best ways to modify your involvement so that the treatment can be as effective as possible.
• It will help to
break the secrecy about the OCD in the family. Encourage discussion about OCD as a common and treatable anxiety condition
that is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Support the family member with OCD to be able to share something about it
with family, relatives and friends.
• If you notice improvements, however small, acknowledge them and encourage
the family member to reward themselves for their progress.
• Try to be patient, and maintain a non-judgemental attitude
toward the sufferer – this will support them in focusing their efforts on recovery rather than dealing with anger and
resentment.
• If their motivation wanes and they consider stopping treatment, remind them of the gains they have
made.
Normalise family routines and reduce involvement
in the obsessive compulsive behaviours
It is very easy for families to get involved in OCD behaviours
because it usually seems like the only way to reduce the distress that the person with OCD is experiencing. Also, it often
just helps the family to keep functioning if you can quickly respond to a request for reassurance or to check something, rather
than dealing with the protracted anxiety, tears or arguments which can arise if you don’t do what is asked. It can be
very difficult to reduce this type of involvement in a person’s OCD, especially when it has been going on for a long
time. It is important to be aware that helping a person with their rituals, responding to requests for reassurance, or undertaking
tasks that they want to avoid, are all behaviour patterns that help to maintain OCD and may create an obstacle to a person’s
recovery if not modified or stopped. However, it is also important that family involvement in rituals is reduced in a very
gradual way, and preferably as a part of a cognitive behavioural treatment program. Sudden stopping of all involvement could
trigger overwhelming distress for the person with OCD, and lead to increased symptoms, high agitation and anxiety, and depression.
Some suggestions include:
• Initiate discussions in the family about the compulsive behaviours which are impacting
on family routines and time, and try to work out ways in which family participation in the rituals can be gradually reduced.
• Explain the reasons for reducing involvement to the person with OCD, and allow them to be a part of decision
making about how this is achieved. Set realistic goals together, and ensure that all the family will abide by the plan.
• If the person with OCD is in treatment, offer to attend a session with them so that you can seek advice about how
your efforts to minimise accommodation of compulsions can best complement the treatment program.
• Try to maintain
normal household routines whenever possible.
• Focus on strengthening family connections and stability by maintaining
positive family traditions and rituals – celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, having regular family dinners, reinforcing
positive communication and behaviours – sharing, hugs, helping each other, and keeping up family activities –
going to church, to the footy, taking the dog to the park etc.
Reach out and find support and help for yourself
If you live with someone with OCD, it is very likely that
you will also need some support and help for yourself. Over time, OCD in the family can lead to everyone feeling isolated
and alone. It is very important to maintain your connections and supports among your extended family and friends. If these
support networks are limited, or unable to meet your needs, consider seeking out supports in the community. Some suggestions
include:
• Contact a telephone helpline for families and carers of people with OCD and anxiety conditions;
•
Attend a support group for families in similar situations;
• Attend education and skills groups for carers of people
with OCD;
• Seek out information or workshops on stress management, relaxation and meditation, and healthy living;
• If your physical or emotional health is suffering, be proactive in getting some professional help for yourself
– short term counselling and support can be obtained through your GP, local community health centre or a private psychologist;
• Take time out for yourself whenever possible, and try to maintain hobbies and outside interests.
When the person who has OCD refuses treatment
A person who has OCD may be reluctant to seek professional
help. This may be because they are frightened by the stigma associated with mental illness, and that they might be found to
be really ‘mad’ or ‘crazy’. People with OCD are also usually very afraid of having to give up their
compulsions – as much as they don’t want to do them, they also feel that compulsions are absolutely necessary
to their survival and that it would be impossible to stop them. Therefore, treatment becomes a terrifying prospect, and they
may have little hope anyway that it would work. They may also fear becoming addicted to medications, ‘failing’
at the therapy, or showing themselves to be weak because they can’t deal with their problem on their own. Suggestions include:
• Offer reassurance that OCD is a recognised and
treatable illness.
• Assist the person with OCD to be fully informed about effective treatments for OCD. There is
a lot of information available about evidence-based treatments for OCD – medication and psychological therapy, including
how the treatments work, what is expected of the patient/client, how long it should take, what self-management strategies
can improve recovery, and how these treatments have helped others with OCD. This type of information may help to alleviate
many of the fears that people with OCD have about treatment.
• Ensure that you seek treatment from a professional
who is experienced in treating OCD using evidence-based approaches – just like you would if you were obtaining treatment
for a medical condition. The fears and worries that people with OCD have about treatment may be greatly exacerbated if they
are exposed to an incompetent or inappropriate treatment service.
• Don’t try to bully or ridicule people
with OCD into getting treatment – strong-arm tactics won’t work, and will only increase their feelings of powerlessness
and failure.
• Stress that knowing when to seek help is actually a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Seek
advice from professionals and support groups on your own, if necessary.
• Sometimes, despite your best efforts,
you have to accept there’s nothing more you can do to encourage the person to seek help – in this case, you need
to find avenues of support and strength for yourself.
• If you think your family member is in a critical situation,
and needs immediate assistance to ensure their safety and well-being, call your doctor, your local mental health service crisis
assessment team, or the police.
An anonymous letter from a woman who is married to a man with
OCD/Anxiety Disorder:
It took years to get my husband
to go to a doctor and finally get a diagnosis of OCD/Anxiety Disorder. The doctor prescribed medicine which
really helps him with his anxiety attacks, but after he takes it for a while, he decides he doesn't need it anymore.
When he does not take his meds our life at home is very stressful.
He wants the drapes closed all
the time. I open them when he leaves for work. When he returns home he closes them. It's embarrassing
to have friends over for a meal. He stays in the kitchen and watches if anyone besides me touches the food. He
won't touch any food prepared by another person. When my sister and her family visit, she and I always have fun
together preparing meals. Just before we eat, my husband will say he is not hungry and decides to run some errands,
which is his excuse to go buy his meal elsewhere. Sometimes even asks me if I think his own parents might try to poison
him. I have never understood why he doesn't fear food from restaurants or even Burger King.
We have a one-year old son. When we visit other homes, my husband will not allow our son to play with other children's
toys. Even worse, he gathers up all of our sons toys and hides them so visiting children cannot get germs on them.
If he comes home from work and finds visiting children playing with our son on the floor, he gathers the toys and puts them
away and calls me into another room to express his anger. As a result we do not have visitors very often. It's
so embarrassing.
That covers the anxiety but the obsessive/compulsive condition is even worse.
If he finds one little spot of dirt or dust, he yells at me. If I take our son and drive to a friends house, or even
out of state to visit my parents, I must call him as soon as I arrive to let him know we arrived ok. I do not mind that,
but he decides how long it should take me to arrive at my destination and immediately starts calling to see if I am there
yet (even though he knows I always call him when I arrive). He continues to call every ten or fifteen minutes.
As a result of his condition, he is unable to keep a job for very long. Has to win every game he plays with
family or friends. He gets so angry at people. He is very controlling. It takes a great effort to get him
to go back to his doctor and begin taking medication again. As soon as the medicine has been working for a while he
decides he no longer needs it and stops taking it. And we begin the same stressful cycle again.
Our life is miserable. How can I keep our family life bearable? He's certainly not happy when he is off
his medication. As a Christian, I know I am to be in subjection to my husband and to love him. But I stay physically
and emotionally torn up and worn out from all of his demands and his temper. He will not agree to talk to anyone about
our family life, nor will he allow me to do so. Most of the time our life is a nightmare.
When Your Life is Not Your Own Pat Gates
FROM THE MAIL: A topic I would
like discussed on this page is: feelings of resentment toward chronically ill child (and subsequent guilt at having those
feelings)
Thank
you for writing and bringing up a much needed topic. Please understand there are many different scenarios of what your situation could
be, as well as your own personality, and because I don't know you and have no more information other than what is given here,
I'll have to speak towards a wide range of women and situations. The first reaction some of you readers may have is one
of shock that a mother could feel resentment towards an ill child but remember we are speaking about feelings
and we need to look at the source of the feelings; as well as the overall attitude of the mother. While I never felt resentment
towards my ill child, I do understand how one could have these feelings and I understand the thought process of physical and
emotional stressed-out caregivers. The stress is normal and nothing to feel guilty about, however, we do need to stay on guard
as Satan will use our weakness and try his best to tempt us to sin. If a mother is caring night and day for a child (whether
the child is young or an adult), fatigue may set in to the extent where the mother can hardly function physically. I've
been in that position not only with my child but with my parents and I know many of you have been there as well. As much as
a woman cares for her loved one, "the flesh is weak," and her body longs for rest. It is normal for extreme fatigue
to cause thoughts and feelings that wouldn’t normally occur. A few years ago I wasn't sure how my body could go
through another night in caring for my son. A sister in Christ called me during this time and reassured me that if I had thoughts
of wanting it to be over, that was normal no matter how much I loved the one I was caring for. She reinforced the fact that
it was only the fatigue "talking." This woman had experienced the same thing and her reassurance to me during that
very difficult time was so appreciated as I felt guilty for my longing for rest when my son was suffering so. Extreme fatigue
and lack of sleep is a selfish time in the sense the physical body longs for rest and our spirit may let its guard down. This
is why Jesus told the apostles, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," (Mt. 26:41) and in stressful,
tiring situations, unfortunately, sometimes the flesh rules the spirit. Lack of sleep, along with on-going stress often
tempts us to let down our guard and think and act in ways we normally wouldn't. Let's look again at the response Jesus
gave Peter, James, and John when he saw them sleeping in the garden of Gethsemane: "Watch and pray,
lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." While Jesus understood
why they were sleeping (flesh is weak), He still warns these men to be vigilant because He knows Satan tempts righteous men
in times of physical and emotional weakness. In caring for
an ill child, the mother may be confined to home or a hospital and feelings of resentment may kick in from thinking that
she has no life of her own. Maybe she had to give up her career; perhaps she is young and never had a chance to be
involved in some work or hobby she had hoped to. Maybe she misses time to spend with her husband and her other children,
or perhaps she misses not being able to experience a normal life without ongoing drama. In some cases, the ongoing drudgery
of daily medical care may bring on resentment, as well as the great financial cost of illness and no savings because
the income all goes toward medical bills. Wanting and wishing for a different life is normal. From 1999 through
2005 my life was constant drama; and in just the years of 2002 – 2004 I cared for my dying father, I was diagnosed with
autoimmune hepatitis and was told I may need a liver transplant one day (I recovered, thankfully). As soon as I recovered,
my son had major heart surgery and cardiomyopathy followed, which resulted in severe heart failure. Our family looked at death
so often in that short time that we were mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. I thought of people who would complain
about their “boring lives” and I longed for a boring life! Caregiving, not to mention witnessing what my father
and son went through, is extreme stress on the flesh and the emotions. Living in a high drama situation is one thing and then there is the
day to day, strictly scheduled caregiving that has no drama whatsoever. It is just a matter of persevering as the spirit faces
another day of giving, giving, giving. I’ve been there as well and that kind of life can also wear on the spirit. Now, with all that said,
I want to now get a bit tougher on the feeling of resentment because it can become a temptation to sin in various
forms. A mother may want to give up and run away as she allows negative thoughts and feelings to gain control
and her life. She will be miserable and she will make all those around her miserable, including her ill child.
While the feelings of resentment may be normal in the sense many caregivers feel it, she can not allow those feelings to gain
any ground and she must immediately control her negative thoughts and feelings.
HOW TO PREVENT AND STOP THOUGHTS OF RESENTMENT
1. Pay
attention to the resentment and guilt feelings and rationally examine them. Are you having negative thoughts and
feelings due to fatigue which don’t amount to anything except the longing for rest? Or is the guilt feeling giving you
the warning you are about to or have fallen into the sin of selfishness? If it’s just fatigue, give yourself a break
and don't think you are a terrible mother, however, begin to think rationally so that the resentment doesn't take
control of your spirit. If you are truly resenting your ill child and your situation, then begin working on changing that
immediately or your life is going to be worse off than it is now. The
feeling of guilt is a good warning system for our spiritual man as it brings attention to the fact that we are either
in sin or we are close to it. In the case of feeling resentment towards an ill child, the guilt feeling is telling us we are
not thinking correctly and if we aren't careful we can go too far and allow resentment to take over our spiritual man.
We will give up and allow the flesh to make life decisions that could be detrimental. Guilt feelings should never be
ignored, but rather examined. We need to look at our situation through rational and godly thinking; are we just feeling the
effects of fatigue or is it more than that? Have we or are we in the process of succumbing to the sins of the flesh?
2. Pray to God and confess everything
you are thinking and feeling. Ask for help. God will truly provide if your heart is humbly asking for help
3. Tell yourself your child can not help
the situation he/she is in and picture yourself ill and needing help (which you will one day). How painful would
it be if you knew your caregiver resented having to care for you? No child desires to have to be cared
for by their mother their whole lives and those adult children who may be ill due to past sins did not purposely get ill to
burden anyone. 4.
Educate yourself on what your child is going through physically and emotionally. Young children can’t
express themselves and older ones sometimes won’t. Those with mental illness, especially if it is congenital, may not
be able to explain themselves in ways you could understand; putting yourself in their place can help take away the resentment. 5.
Educate yourself on what other parents are going through. It helps to know others are dealing
with the same thoughts and feelings you are. Join a support group, whether it’s online or an actual meeting; this could
give you the chance to help other mothers as well. 6. Live as normal a life as possible. Some
of you may laugh when you read that because you may have children with physical and/or mental illness that takes your life
far from normal. I understand, however, with your “normal” try to live as normally as
you can. 7.
Discipline your ill child when needed. Those of you with children who have mental illness may have
more difficulty recognizing what your child can help and what they can’t help, but all children, as well as adults,
need some form of discipline. An ill child who is undisciplined will only make caregiving more difficult and it isn’t
fair for the child, as the world outside their home will not be as forgiving. 8. Ask for help. Now, before
you roll your eyes and think that I don’t understand there is no help, believe me, I understand.
I’ve been in situations where I’ve had plenty of help and in situations where I’ve had no help. I’ve
often been away from home and in another state where I’ve had to care night and day without help and there has been
times I asked for help, with tears, and received none, so believe me, I do understand. Try to find help whether it be in your
family, with friends, the church, or an organization. I have found some people want to help, but they don't know
how and perhaps fear is preventing them from offering. Anyone that can give you even an hour’s break would
be great. 9.
Educate others concerning your child and your life. Some people may want to help but they are afraid
to do so. They don’t understand your child’s illness and are afraid they won’t know what to do or say. If
you know of someone who would like to help but are timid to do so, invite them to your house for the day and allow them to
watch how you care for your child. Also, they may not understand the stress of caregiving if they've never been there.
You may look rested and strong to others and they won't realize your insides are crumbling. 10. If you have the money, hire
a housekeeper or a sitter, or anyone who can give you some relief. For the first time in my life I hired help for
housecleaning and caring for my mother for 3 hours a day and it has helped so much, not only my body, but my spirit. 11. Try your best
to plan family time together in order to be able to pay attention to your husband and any other children you may
have. Plan activities for the entire family, as well as your ill child, but also try your best to find time alone with your
husband and alone time with your other children. 12. Give your ill child chores and responsibilities
within his/her ability, if possible. I realize some are too ill or hospitalized but when possible, everyone needs to feel
needed and responsibilities are good for building the child's character. 13. Make
sure your child never sees or hears resentment in your voice or actions. The pain the child would feel is beyond
description and they will lose their ability to trust you. If this has already occurred, with effort, you will again gain
their trust. 14. Never
allow thoughts of resentment to continue. If they pop into your head, begin self-discipline right away to prevent
it festering into full-blown misery. Immediately tell yourself to stop that thought, distract yourself with prayer and with
good thoughts. Go hug your child for this is a great distraction! 15. Recognize the great work you have. Many women
feel resentment towards their husband and children when illness isn’t involved because they
are desiring a more “worthwhile” life. Unfortunately they don’t recognize how much worth their life has.
Think about any career you may choose in this life – none equals what you contribute to this world than being a good
mother. If every household had a good mother how much better would this world be! It’s one of the most important works
a woman can do and if this involves an ill child, how much greater the glory. I’ve witnessed mothers caring for their
ill children since 1978 when my son was born with heart defects. In hospitals I’ve seen abandoned babies dying from
disease, day after day, laying in a crib, loveless. But I’ve also seen mothers who were at their child’s bedside
night and day for months at a time, as well as those who had to share time with their child and children at home, and those
who had to work to support their families. It is absolute beauty and often this beauty stays hidden in the home where
no one is around to witness. However, there is one who sees all and that is our heavenly Father. He sees these beautiful,
giving, unselfish, worn-out mothers and He holds them up in honor. She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law
of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And
does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her: Prov. 31:26-28 16. Know that a life of being a godly, giving, unselfish mother reaps an everlasting
reward of love that is far better than any reward we can receive on this earth. Not only will the mother be rewarded
but she is an example to her family and to all who know her and her works do not go unrecognized, even if she never hears
words of praise. "Do not grow weary in doing good," 2 Thess. 3:13. 17. Accept your
situation in this life and make the best of it. Every human being at one time in their life is going to have their
own “situation” and have to learn to live with it. Some of us receive ours at an early age, others in later years
and we all have three choices in how we live with our situations: (1) We turn from the “situation,” give
up, run away (2) We stay and live in misery, or (3) We accept our situation, look for the blessings that will
come, and reap rewards in this life and in the life to come.
Caregiving, no matter how much we love our child, can be a difficult, bone-weary, heart-crushing, complete giving of ourselves
way of life; in fact, our lives are not our own. We may witness our children in severe pain and fear, whether the child has
physical or mental illness. We live with intense pain that stabs our heart every time our child experiences loneliness, rejection,
misunderstanding, and teasing. We worry about our other children and the time lost with them, as well as our husbands. We
have no time to pursue our interest, much less do our regular daily cleaning and cooking. We usually are the only woman at
our congregation who has a chronically ill child, therefore we don't get the empathy, understanding, or physical and spiritual
help we need and long for.
However, we have great many blessings that other mothers do not have. We gain an understanding of what is important and what
isn't. We appreciate good days with our children and don't take them for granted and when the bad days come, we have
a dependence on God and His strength we would never have if we did not experience the absolute helpless feeling that
comes from wanting to help our child and are unable to do so.
We have children who teach us perseverance and gentleness while getting dealt a difficult life that was not their choosing.
We learn kindness and patience in our own suffering because we are amazed at what our child goes through and are in awe of
their determination and endurance. We complain less, because they are given one blow after another and receive each one without
complaint. It is their life. It will be their life until they die. They deserve our time, our respect, and our all, if that's
what it takes.
We have a life of great blessings if we look for them, if we lean on our Savior, if we see the importance of our work. As
we can go through daily drudgery and lonely battles that no one may ever witness, we may receive very little praise, but we
have comfort and hope knowing our God sees us, knows us, helps us, and will reward us with not only eternal life, but beautiful
rewards in this life. It is then when we realize it is not the praise we seek, it is not our self we seek, but it is
the love for our child that supersedes any outside desires we may have. We seek the good of our ill child, our well children,
our husbands, and our relationship to God.
Life can be torturous, but with Christ, life is good. May all of you caregiving mothers be blessed with peace and comfort
in the great, loving task ahead of you.
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When speaking to a mother of a chronically ill child, please
don't say, "I don't know how you do it," or "I couldn't do what you do." Not only is
it not encouraging, but it isn't helpful because the mother knows good and well you could do it because when
you love your child, you just do whatever needs to be done. A
good thing to say is, "I admire how well you care for your child when I know it must get very difficult at
times. You are such a good example to all of us."
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