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God’s Providential
Care and Peanuts
by Joanne Beckley
Recently,
my husband and Ron Chaffin returned to South Africa from Zimbabwe. After supper, they finally told Carol and me of the following
event. Afterwards, all of us thankfully attribute their safe return home to our gracious Father’s care for these two
men. Homeward bound, the men were stopped several times by police roadblocks. The car was searched, and they went on their
way – only to be stopped yet again and searched. Continuing down the road after one such forced stop, Ron accidentally
broke his packet of peanuts and they scattered everywhere. In the process of collecting the peanuts, he reached blindly behind
Dave’s seat to pick up even more – and came up with a piece of glass. Examining the glass/rock, they noticed it
had cut facets. Amazed, they discussed what it was and where had it come from. Deciding that the unknown was possibly dangerous,
they tossed it far out the window – and soon arrived at the next roadblock. This time Dave asked the police woman what
they were searching for? “Diamonds” was the succinct answer. Was the “diamond” planted at the previous
police roadblock? We will never know. But this trip could have had a far different ending, and in this unstable country, my
husband and Ron would not have returned home. I am still thanking God for peanuts.
Take a
moment with me to consider the providence of God, especially whether or how He works on a personal level in our lives. Events
happen in our lives over which we have little control. It is during these times that it is good to pause and consider this
gift from God.
Because we as Christians address our prayers to God, we recognize His divine characteristics
of being all powerful, all knowing, and full of mercy toward us (James 1:17). We believe God is holy, righteous, and sinless.
We know He loves us. We know that He has the ability to supply what we need, with the right to choose to exercise that ability.
We have learned these truths from His holy word. Most wonderful of all, God assures us of His willingness to hear our petitions
because we have been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:6; James 5:16-18).
If we believe
these truths, we will confidently beg God to be with us at all times, and especially when we are faced with temptation and
unexpected dangers. If we believe Him to be all powerful and fully aware of what is happening to us at all times (James 1:6),
then He is free to exercise His providential care in our lives (without anxiety, with His peace - Phil.4:7). We cannot say
with certainty (no direct proof) that this event or that one has been affected by His choice and care, whether as testing
or in saving our lives. We cannot know with certainty that He is allowing Satan to try to influence us to reject God (Job
1,2). We can give thanks, knowing He will always provide what is good for us. We can accept that
with God’s help it is possible to spiritually grow from whatever experiences we face on a daily basis.
The subject of providence in our lives becomes very personal to each one of us. We desire God’s
full concern for our own specific joys and problems. Yet, we must understand God has a time and purpose, and His providence
on a personal level is subject to His plan and His foresight. We must learn, as the preacher said, to “fear before Him”
(Eccl.3:14). Sin and wicked men are ever before us. Their actions will affect us and we cannot control them. We can look
to God in his providence to help the situation, while understanding He may be proving, testing you and me (vv15-18), thus
we are to prove, test ourselves (2 Cor.13:5). The preacher summarized his thoughts by telling us God is the final judge of
how we should respond to His will and to good and evil (12:13,14). Jesus himself urges us to work with God, not against Him.
God will provide what He knows we need and we are to do our part by seeking Him first, from the beginning, and not
relying on our own questionable wisdom (Matthew 6:25-34).
We do not live lives
believing “whatever will be, will be,” having no say or ability to change our circumstances. Our obedient lives
for Christ and our trust revealed in our petitions truly do affect God’s willingness to extend his providential care
to us.
Psalm 34:14-19 Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. The eyes
of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry. 16 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. 17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, And delivers them out of
all their troubles. 18 The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. 19 Many
are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 145:17-21 The LORD is
righteous in all His ways, Gracious in all His works. 18 The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him
in truth. 19 He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them. 20 The LORD preserves
all who love Him, But all the wicked He will destroy. 21 My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD, And all flesh shall
bless His holy name Forever and ever.
Easton’s Bible Dictionary gives
an excellent summary concerning God’s providence. Many religious people are seeking to remove personal responsibility
for what they say and do. Yet, God’s nature will not force us to act in such and such a way, nor does Satan have the
ability to force us to sin. Each one of us are held accountable and we would do well to take time to study these two subjects.
“Providence literally means foresight, but is generally
used to denote God's preserving and governing all things by means of second causes (Ps 18:35; 63:8; Ac 17:28; Col 1:17;
Heb 1:3). God's providence extends to the natural world (Ps 104:14; 135:5-7; Ac 14:17), the brute creation (Ps 104:21-29;
Mt 6:26; 10:29), and the affairs of men (1Ch 16:31; Ps 47:7; Pr 21:1; Job 12:23; Da 2:21; 4:25), and of individuals (1Sa 2:6;
Ps 18:30; Lu 1:53; Jas 4:13-15). It extends also to the free actions of men (Ex 12:36; 1Sa 24:9-15; Ps 33:14,15; Pr 16:1;
19:21; 20:24; 21:1), and things sinful (2Sa 16:10; 24:1; Ro 11:32; Ac 4:27,28), as well as to their good actions (Php 2:13;
4:13; 2Co 12:9,10; Eph 2:10; Ga 5:22-25).
“As regards sinful actions of men, they are represented as occurring
by God's permission (Ge 45:5; 50:20. Comp. 1Sa 6:6; Ex 7:13; 14:17; Ac 2:3; 3:18; 4:27,28), and as controlled (Ps 76:10)
and overruled for good (Ge 50:20; Ac 3:13). God does not cause or approve of sin, but only limits, restrains, overrules it
for good.
“The mode of God's providential government is altogether unexplained. We only know that it
is a fact that God does govern all his creatures and all their actions; that this government is universal (Ps 103:17-19),
particular (Mt 10:29-31), efficacious (Ps 33:11; Job 23:13), embraces events apparently contingent (Pr 16:9,33; 19:21; 21:1),
is consistent with his own perfection (2Ti 2:13), and to his own glory (Ro 9:17; 11:36).”
 Dave and Joanne Beckley
Doing The Lord's Work In Zimbabwe
Les and Linda Maydell are featured in this issue of Our Hope. One of the challenges
that I personally have encountered since we added the Sojourning in Distant Lands page is the abundance of fascinating and
touching stories included in the letters and newsletters from those who are living and working in these far away and difficult
places. The problem is trying to choose which stories to include and which ones to omit due to lack of
space. One cannot help but be touched by the trials and hardships that are daily occurrences for those
who, in this case live in the southern part of Africa.
I am thankful for Joanne Beckley’s invaluable assistance in putting this information together each month.
By way of introduction to the Maydells, I will
use some of Linda’s own words. To locate the countries mentioned in her letter and in the excerpts from their newsletters,
see the map at the bottom of the page. Cindy
We like to share the things that we experience
– because we hope that the Christians we meet and the experiences we share with them will encourage others as we have
been encouraged. We feel very blessed to have been given these different/interesting opportunities to do the Lord’s
work. We live in Nylstroom (or Modimolle –
African name), a small town about 100 miles north of Pretoria. Les was born in Pretoria and was converted in his late 20’s.
It was not long before he began preaching and saving his money to go to Florida College – where we met. (I grew up in
St.Louis.)
We
lived in Pretoria over 20 years, but moved out of the pollution about 8 years ago because of Les’s health. (By God’s
grace, Les is a two-time cancer survivor.) About 3-4 years ago, our youngest child
left for Florida College, and so that freed us to travel for longer periods of time. We
spend 2-3 weeks away and 1-2 weeks at home. When we are at home, we travel on Sunday mornings
to various congregations within a 100-mile radius of our house; and there is a small congregation
that meets in our house on Sunday evenings. We travel by invitation to different congregations
in Zimbabwe, Namibia, Botswana, Mozambique, and South Africa. Linda
Some definitions to keep in mind as you read
kyaya ("kigh-yah") is the family living
area , consisting of several separate mud huts with grass roofs - living/dining rooms, bedrooms and a special kitchen with
walls only half-way up to let out the smoke from the cooking fires. It also insists of a chicken coop, an open storage bin on stilts to hold
corn, sorghum and millet before it is shucked or ground, an enclosed small hut with various “rooms” for beans
and ground grain, and various useful trees such as papaya, banana or mango. The entire area is enclosed by a hedge or fence
of thorns. There is not one blade of grass, and the dirt is swept daily.
kraal (“crawl”),
Just outside the khaya is the kraal (“crawl”), a small circular fence made of tree posts planted
right up against one another, where oxen or goats, etc are kept at night for protection. Surrounding all this are a few acres
of fields, also enclosed by thorn fences, particularly to keep goats and other animals from eating the crops.
From
the Maydell's May 2007 Newsletter
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Les: "On our way to the next scheduled
meeting at Silalatshani, about 150 miles further north, we were stopped by a brother who had been standing next to the road
all day. He diverted us to Ntunteni, a brand-new congregation which had started as a result of two Christian women from Silalatshani
talking about the Bible as they worked together in the fields. A woman from Ntunteni overheard them and asked questions. After
her conversion, she began walking 8 miles (one way) to services each Sunday. The Silalatshani brethren, seeing her commitment,
decided to try to start a new work in her village by holding a gospel meeting there. This woman then went to every house in
her village and invited them to the meeting. About 15-20 were baptized. We arrived a few weeks later. It was a wonderful experience
to teach so many babes and prospects. It was also wonderful to see how brethren walked many miles from other congregations
to support this effort. We rejoiced to see three obey the gospel. If we remember correctly, thirteen obeyed the gospel during
our 2-week visit."
Linda: "Many times when people are undergoing
severe trials, they may wonder, 'Why me?' But when I think of how very much we have compared to the brethren we spend
most of our time with, I also wonder, 'Why me?' I really don’t know why I am so blessed when so many around
me, who are just as spiritually minded, are not.
"A few days later, we visited
Ntunteni. After I taught, some women came up to me and told me that a woman in the khaya next door was requesting
that we come and pray for her. (It turned out that she was the daughter of the woman who was the original Christian in that
area.) A few of us went to do that. The woman, a widow, (I am ashamed to say that I have forgotten her name) was emaciated,
almost too ill from AIDS to stand, and also suffering from a terrible urinary tract infection. She had no medication –
sometimes the rural clinics have paracetamol (eg. Tylenol). She was lying
on a bed in a round, grass-roofed, mud-brick hut with a dirt/dung floor – spotlessly clean. She had a few clothes hanging
on a nail on the back of the door and a small table with a few possessions stacked neatly on it. The rest of the hut was covered
with grass mats for us to sit on as we visited. Some of her TEN children stood anxiously around the walls and outside the
door.
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"After prayers, (and after I had given the woman some medication left to me by Dr Kevin who visited us last year) as
we were walking back to the meeting, I turned and spoke to my two translators. Bigboy’s wife, Ures, had just buried
her 13-year-old niece that they had raised as their own daughter (because her parents had died of AIDS and passed the disease
on to her). Senzeni, who had walked about 20 miles to the meeting, had just buried her husband two months before (AIDS) –
and 5 infant children before that. “What do you think?” I asked. Tactfully, Ures replied,
“I think it will be very difficult for this woman to recover.” Senzeni added, “I think she is suffering
from the same illness as her husband.” I said to Ures and Senzeni, “Please find out if this woman has been taught
the gospel. She is too weak to make it to the river (about a mile away), but since we are here, we will be able to erect the
portable baptistry right outside the door of her hut.” It seems that the woman had
been taught by some of her older children, and when spoken to, she replied, “Yes, I need to be ready to meet the Lord
at any time. And please also speak to my neighbour. She is ill like me and also ready to be baptized.” Young women
carried water in buckets from the river to the baptistry until it was filled.
"The lady was too ill to stand up after her baptism, but sisters picked her up out of the
water and carried her inside her hut. I doubt she is alive today – but she can be with the Lord. Why was I so blessed
with Christian parents who remained faithful to each other and taught me to be pure so that I and my children have not died
of this horrible disease? Why are Les and I so blessed with the finances necessary to eat in such a way that we have could
have health and strength? Why have you been blessed enough to give on the first day of the week so that congregations can
support men to preach the gospel all over the world? Maybe one of the reasons is so that some woman with a good heart in the
middle of Zimbabwe could have a portable baptistery brought to her door."
(Note:
Linda has since written a letter to me saying that the woman died a few weeks later. Cindy)
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From the Maydell's June 2007 Newsletter
Linda: "The very first and most important
thing is greeting every person. “We are seeing you, mother.” “Did you get up?” “How are you?”
“How are your children?” This is accompanied by a special triple hand shake. If a person only learns to greet
in the local language, heart-doors are immediately opened. When I first came to Africa, I wondered why I was having such a
hard time getting people to help me in shops – it was because I was simply saying hello and stating my business –
I was not first asking about the person’s health!
Gene
Tope, who lived and worked in South Africa for many years made the trip back to that country with his wife,
Betty from his home in Chesterfield, Virginia to officiate the
memorial service.
Paul Williams, who currently lives and preaches in South Africa writes that Basil was Gene Tope’s “Timothy”. He was a young preacher
working with Gene in Krugersdorp, South Africa in 1968. He faithfully laboured in the Lord there, in Port Elizabeth,
and then for many years in the Durban area among Indian brethren. In Port Elizabeth about 36 years ago he suffered a
massive heart attack, but he recovered well and God gave him many years of fruitful service.
UNCLE
BASIL CASS
A SOLDIER OF CHRIST, GONE HOME
Written
by his niece
Cheryl Buchanan
White River, South Africa
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Uncle Basil, is his passion for singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.
Often we would get to the Cass household and Uncle Basil would be in his recliner with a hymn book in his hand, practicing
a new hymn or perfecting an old one - in times of happiness and sadness. He sat at the bedside of his dying aged mother, many
years ago, singing and then led the singing at her funeral service.
He, with Aunty Gloria at his side, supporting him in working for the Lord, made a great team and example to many. For a number
of years, he had Bible studies every evening, except Saturdays.
I was always intrigued by his dedication to study and learn more about God’s word, when he and Aunty Gloria were a young
married couple. He would travel to Bro. Gene Tope’s house on his little motorbike a few times a week - working at a
secular job during the day and then studying God’s word by night.
His love for the truth and his brethren often stressed him and put him in a depressed
state during times of conflict in the church.
Then there was his great love for his family, both spiritual and physical family - this was always evident, to the point of
being very firm, but caring and loving under very difficult circumstances. I always felt very much a part of the Cass
family and have many happy memories of being with them.
It was through Uncle Basil and Aunty Gloria that our family came to know the gospel and our common bond in Christ was the
reason we have always enjoyed a close relationship.
Lastly, his incredible sense of humor! Uncle Basil loved to joke and tease and had a hearty laugh.
We know that God will comfort his family and brethren and help them through the years
ahead.
Uncle Basil has left a
legacy of love for the gospel, not only to his own family, but to many others as well!
He will be greatly missed by brethren and family alike, for many different reasons.
~
Cheryl Buchanan
The family wrote the following poem in his honor:
"You
toiled so hard for those you loved. You said goodbye to none. Your
spirit flew before we knew Your work on earth was done. We miss you now,
our hearts are sore, As time goes by, we miss you more. Your
loving smile, your gentle face -- No one can fill your vacant place. Your
life was love and labor. Your love for your family, true. You
did the best for all of us. We will always remember you."
June 2007: Our writer for this month is Ellen Baize. She grew
up in Zimbabwe when her parents, Foy and Margaret Short were preaching and teaching there. Ellen has the unique experience
of being raised in a country very different from the United States. She wrote the following article about her memories of
growing up in Zimbabwe about 13 years ago while her parents were still living there. In 1995 Foy and Margaret Short moved to White House, Tennessee, after living in Zimbabwe (formerly known as Rhodesia)
for 48 years. Ellen says she is blessed to have them living one and a half states away. Ellen, thank you for sharing some of your experiences and what you learned growing up in a distant land. Cindy
This is the picture of our family in December 1965, with one
additional person. The little girl sitting beside mother went with us to South Africa. Dad held a meeting, then we spent a
week camping -- one of our few family vacations. Left to right:
Standing: Jim, Harold & Ellen (me). Sitting: Kay, Foy (Dad), Margaret (Mom) & Marianne de Koch
A CHILD OF THE HARVEST FIELD "To the Harvest field I will gladly go,
In the service of
my King."
By Ellen Baize
This was a song of special meaning in our family. I am not only the child of missionaries,
but the niece of missionaries, the sister of a missionary and the granddaughter of missionaries. I am a citizen of the United
States, but often I feel like a foreigner in my own country, and another country often seems more like home. My parents'
decision to spend their lives teaching the Word of God in Africa has had a lasting effect on me. I heard two men, who
spent most of their adult lives preaching in Africa, wonder if they were fair to their children when they chose to spend their
lives preaching the Gospel in a foreign country. I can't answer for every child. I answer only for myself, and this is
my answer to them. Yes, there have been challenges I have faced, which I probably would not have faced if I had been
raised In the USA. First I live in confusion as to which is my "home" country. On paper and through training, I
know that I am an American. I love the USA. But I also love Zimbabwe and when I think of home, I think of Zimbabwe. As a child
I knew I was different because I was an American, and I was often treated differently because my peers knew that I was American.
My home life was subtly different because of the American influence of my parents. When I came to the USA I was still different.
In many ways I had developed customs, manners of speech, ideas that were not American. I will spend my life wishing I could
live in both places at once, that I could enjoy the best of both countries always. However, the positive side is that I have
learned that true happiness and contentment does not come from where you live, but from how you live. Living in 2 different
societies has helped me develop tolerance and long-suffering. I also know that my eternal home will be the best of both countries
plus lots more! Another challenge I have faced has been loneliness. My father tells of his first Christmas in Alabama.
On Christmas Eve he went for a walk. Inside the brightly lit houses he saw families enjoying being together. He was alone,
no family to visit. The sight filled him with longing for home, for his parents who were in Africa. That story still causes
me to cry, because I know how he felt. I have had similar experiences. I see other families getting together often (more often
than every 5 or 6 years) and wish. But I have learned that I am never really alone. God is always with me. God has blessed
me with many Christian friends, a God-fearing husband and 3 beautiful children and 6 wonderful grandchildren. My children
have 2 sets of "adopted" grandparents. Christian friends invited me into their homes during my college years. Many
of them will never realize just how much their hospitality alleviated my aloneness. This challenge has not only taught me
about the faithfulness of God, but helps me realize the importance of fulfilling his command on hospitality There have
been many times when I wanted my mother and could have used her counsel in dealing with life's challenges, big and little.
There have been many times when I wanted to pick up the phone and ask her advice about a child's fever, or how to cook
something. But I have had a mother to whom I could write and share the joys and sorrows in my life. Her mother had died before
she went to Africa. God has indeed blessed me. I have also learned to depend more on God for help through life's crises.
So for each challenge God has provided learning experiences and blessings. I have learned many wonderful lessons because
I am a child of missionaries. The greatest and most valuable lesson has been about faith In God. I've seen many wonderful
examples of faith and total dependence on God in the lives of my parents, grandparents, relatives and others serving God in
Africa. My grandparents made the decision to go to Africa to teach. As soon as they had enough money for passage on a ship,
they went. They had no promise of support once they were in Africa, but they knew that God had commanded, "Go into all
the world and preach the gospel" so they believed that he would provide for their needs. Their needs were always met.
This type of faith was what I saw in my childhood. I remember times when a congregation would stop sending their support,
sometimes with one month's notice, sometimes without any notice. Yet we always had food to eat, clothes to wear and a
place to live. Whenever dad got an increase in support, he increased the amount he spent for preaching or teaching. Extra
money meant another teaching opportunity. My parents' priority in life was very obvious and I learned. I learned
about hospitality. Mother has cooked meals for over 30 people many times. And once she did it holding a baby in her arms!
Friends referred to our house and my grandparents' house as "Grand central Station" because we had so many visitors.
One time we had teenagers sleeping in two tents plus one couple sleeping in their station wagon in our yard because so many
were visiting (and we only had one bathroom in our house!) Never did I hear mother or grandmother complain about all the extra
work. They did what was needed cheerfully because they loved God. Both women experienced situations few of us today want to
face. They faced whatever came their way with a deep and abiding trust in God's care. I remember a particular time
of discouragement and frustration for dad, Ray Votaw and Gene Tope. But I never saw them give up or blame God. They gave encouragement
to each other, trusted in God and kept doing the best that they could. I learned about steadfastness from their example. Yes,
there have been challenges to face because my parents were missionaries, but I will never regret being a missionary's
child. My life has been blessed and enriched, and these blessings far outweigh the challenges. As I write this, I see
more clearly that the challenges I have faced are not necessarily very different from the challenges faced by children born
and reared in the USA. The blessings are also experienced in the USA. The only real difference is the packaging! A father's
career decision affects his family, whether he preaches the Gospel in the USA or overseas, or works in a secular job here
or abroad. Growing up in a foreign country does leave a child with challenges to face. Growing up as the child of a preacher,
or elder also presents challenges for the family, especially the children. Growing up in the USA presents challenges as well.
Wherever we are, the love and guidance of Godly parents matters more than the location of the home.
Continue in the faith grounded and settled,
And be not moved away from the hope of the gospel.
Colossians 1:23
RETURNING
HOME
Reverse Culture
Shock
by Joanne Beckley
In 1991, I researched and wrote an article with this title concerning “reverse culture
shock.” My husband and I had just returned from living 16 years in South Africa. We needed help to better understand
what was really happening. Why were we having some difficulty in being Americans again? Because much of my research came from
advice given to military families, I was asked to adapt the information for Christians. Not only did this effort help my own
understanding, but I recommend that every Christian read this article in order to either understand their own difficulties
in returning to the States, or to help other preachers and their families who are returning to the States. Joanne
It
is difficult to describe the emotional turmoil members of a family deal with when they return to the United States, after
living in a foreign country for several years, whether 3 or 20. Obviously, all adjustments are more difficult the longer the
separation. But why should we have problems? After all, we are Americans, are we not?
Optimism or Pessimism? When
we leave the States, we have to relinquish close physical ties with our families and with our sisters and brothers in Christ.
We also face giving up cultural supports that make life comfortable and secure. Because of the pain we felt on separation,
we at first limit contact with others in the new country, making an investment only in short-term relationships – knowing
we will have to leave them when we return. As time continues, we begin to open up and trust in deeper friendships. The longer
we stay, the stronger we love. On the other hand, we may find it seemingly impossible to settle overseas and this breeds feelings
of defeat and pessimism (in you, and therefore in your children). I have learned from my own experience, and that of others,
that how we live in a foreign land will become the tools we work with on our return to the States.
What happens
overseas? Each of us develops and accumulates special abilities and skills to adapt to new situations successfully (new languages,
customs, people). We develop a wider understanding of the world and her needs. We face new trials and overcome them. We are
stronger spiritually, for if we are to survive, we will face ourselves, whether we are indeed children of God.
Upon
our return to the States, we discover that these developed skills and deeper insights will separate us from others. It is
a fact that we are not the same people we were when we left – and others will recognize this. We will have to accept
that our experiences can never be shared by those friends and family left behind. They have not had the same privilege of
the opened door that we have had. Conversations will die and eyes will glaze over as we excitedly describe our wonderful experience.
We are left feeling emotionally let down, silenced, and lonely. Returning to the States means we must leave a significant
part of ourselves behind. We have to say goodbye to cherished friendships that developed through intense mutual needs –
we who were alone in a foreign land, those we teach being new Christians. Goodbyes are difficult, but necessary. The grieving
process begins, and must be completed. Each returning member of the family will have to adjust to being “Americans”
again. so why am I having so much trouble? Is this a lack of faith?”) We may also need to look at several areas that
should be corrected – anger, pride, or self-interest. Most of us make a good surface adjustment, but gradually we will
have to face our feelings of uncertainty, alienation, anger, guilt and disappointment. These feelings cause discomfort, rootlessness
and vague dissatisfaction with our lives. We will have difficulty pinpointing the source of our difficulties. We think we
are adjusting but we are very uncomfortable with the adjustment. (“Christians are to be all things to all men, so why
am I having so much trouble? Is this a lack of faith?”) We may also need to look at several areas that should be corrected
– anger, pride, or self-interest.
What can you do to help yourself? * Say goodbye so that you can
soon enter as whole-heartedly as possible into your new beginnings. * Recognize and accept that grief is necessary.
Accept that there is an emotional cost in adjustment. * Recognize that pride can be a heavy companion during your period
of adjustment. From feeling fairly confident and competent overseas, you will experience real or imagined judgment from fellow
mature preachers and Christians. * Acknowledge that anger will be expressed toward yourself, toward each other for making
life difficult, and toward "the system," American customs, including in the church – all contributing to feelings
of anxiety, depression, self-preoccupation, or insomnia. This sense of powerlessness and insecurity where everything seemed
to be on top of you makes one feel as if he is fumbling in the dark. Laughter is forgotten and burdens seemed unfair to bear. *
Face the feeling of guilt for being given so many gifts and becoming in a very short time seemingly just as affluent as other
Americans and NEVER as you had been overseas. There will also be feelings of guilt that you have left your overseas brethren
"in the lurch.” * Integrate the past with the present. Reflect on the positive. Make a list of personal strengths
and let them balance feelings of inadequacy. * Seek out other Christians who have previously experienced reverse culture
shock. Loneliness can actually paralyze. False pride will stand in the way. * Focus on daily tasks. One day at a time.
* Talk with your spouse and children and make sure each one knows and accepts what each one is going through. *
Return to a learning environment, studying with other preachers, etc. You not only provide yourself with common ground but
it will give you a chance to admit neediness. As a student you can assist yourself in your battle with pride. Acknowledge
that returning home is a learning experience – a new adventure! Each family member will differ in the reentry
process, both in duration and degree of difficulty. It is our expectations that do not match reality that give us trouble.
We are determined to mix a new palette of colors and we want everyone to rejoice in an amazing picture, our very own creation.
If we would only realize we are a potpourri of the world and not make such an issue of it, Americans will not fight us. Let
us stop reminding people of our “foreign” habits. We can learn to live quietly and realize that judgments by others
may be wholly imagined by us. Coming back can truly be another adventure, educational, amusing, confusing, rewarding, “knee
scraping,” and fun all at once. It may take weeks, months, or even years to complete the transitional process as we
integrate new and old experiences.
A Direct Note about our Children and their specialized needs. Living in another
country, if positively approached, gives tremendous potential for American young people. This positive attitude can also be
used when preparing our children for returning to their land of birth. Talk together about yours and their expectations of
America. Correct and weed out non-reality, yet retain their dreams. Seek personal friendships via the internet with teen Christians
in the States who will “be there” when they return. Children need to know U.S. dress styles, hair length, how
to pump gas, no hitchhiking, etc. They need to understand U.S. currency. Teens need a working skill – “all”
teens have jobs in America. Peer acceptance is crucial, and teenagers are very susceptible to re-entry stress. It is not uncommon
for them to withdraw and become depressed, seeking unacceptable methods (drugs, alcohol, sex) to find acceptance. Re-entry
is also a time for tremendous spiritual challenges when teens find that American Christians aren’t as perfect as they
had thought.
How can others help? Christians should make themselves aware that returning home is a difficult job,
emotionally and financially. A congregation can develop a support system of continuous care, prayer, and inquiry on behalf
of the returning family. If possible, within two-three years of their return, send the preacher & wife back to his overseas
work for a 6-week visit/preaching trip. This will help them to complete their adjustment, knowing the goodbyes were not forever.
If possible, plan for one of your elders to accompany them, which will increase his awareness in shepherding the family. New
relationships are forged and mutual appreciation develops. The fear and intense grief of never seeing their loved ones will
be relieved. Let us not create casualties, but rather keep these families whole, able to continue growing in the grace and
knowledge of our Lord. Be patient with the grieving process, and try to understand the difficulty that is present in learning
to trust and reach out in love again. Remove unnecessary pressures by not being critical of strange and unpredictable behaviors.
New relationships have to be based on new acceptable expectations from both sides. Reassure, reassure, reassure them of a
job well done, then and now.
Winning for Christ! What more could we want.
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